DaIlY tHOUgHtS


ThEsE ArE SoMe Of WhAt I Go tHrOuGh... I JuSt PuT EvErYThINg DoWn On HeRe... WeLl If YoU TaKe YoUr TiMe aNd ChECk ThIs OuT... YoU'll KnOw JusT a lItTLE bIt oF wHo i Am aNd wUt i tHinK... wUt gOeS oN in mAh LiFe... sOmEtImEs wHeN i ReReaD wHaT i pUt dOwN... iT huRts So mUcH... jUsT ReMiNdIng MY sElF oF tHe PaSt... mY fRiEnDs..fAmIlY... mY lOVeD oNeS... jUsT mY lIfE... ThEsE dOn'T gO aGaInSt aNyoNe... jUsT sHoWs wHo "I" am...






11O7o5
huh! what a day i don't work today... huh mah first monday that i don't work... well i'm at mah mother in law's house doing laundry and well i'm looking for airline tickets cuz i want to go to california... yea... i'm so happy... well me and mah husband probably will go around january if not then around june... when i turn 19... yea... i'm kinda scared to get on a plane... knowing what happened on 9-11... yea... buttahz i dunnoe... well ever since last saturday... i got really sick on sunday... yea... and then on monday... i called in work... i couldn't go... but i did take mah nephews trick or treating... and then on tuesday... i went to work until 11:45 and then i came home cuz i was too sick... and then i went to work on wednsday... i also went to play bingo with the gurls... i won nothing... but a wallet... thursday i got paid and i got more then kaochee... ha she was pretty mad cuz i got 38 hours and she only got 36 she said that she worked 40 hours... 5 days 8 hours a day... but you know she takes a 45 min break everyday... yea... so she gets about 36... yea... and then on friday... i worked... saturday... i was off... yesterday... i was here and they had a family meeting... and then they also did elvis's birthday... he's only 3 years old could you believe it... and then yea we went home and here i am today... i went to mah dad's house... yea... my biatch asz step sister is telling everyone that i have a disease and it's really getting me mad... mah dad is trying to be nice to meeh... buttahz the only reason he is... is cuz he has court and no one is gonna go with him... yea i ain't cuz after that ... he's just gonna be a biatch like he always is... i really hope that mah little brother gets to go back with mah mom... i think that he's better off there cuz mah mom does love him more... and keeps him safe... i hate mah step sister... i hope that she would just die or something... she makes meeh look like i'm the bad one.. i didn't even do anything to her... what a biatch! eh! im so mad! well i got to go see pheng yesterday... i'm so happy... he made mah day... i hope that he's happy that he got to see meeh... i hope that he still thinks of me as a friend.. well this'll be all for now...

1o29o5
gosh! i'm still going so crazy for this song.. i love it so much... gosh! i'm so tired! today man i had to work too.. so i could get all my hours... yea... it was so busy... i don't like the fact that it's so busy... but i do like it how time goes by so fast... yea... well i got to process shoes for the first half of the day and then i went on break and they called me to pass out candy... cuz the whole strip mall was passing out candy... i swear the kids were so cute... and then i went into the fitting room to do break for that one gurl... and after she came back from break i had to stay in the fitting room... cuz there was no one on the floor... and i stayed there until 2 and then i went to process some more shoe and then at 3 i did the fitting room break again... and then i saw mai tong... and i waited for her to go on her break and then we went to mc donald... i took her back to work and then i went home and it was already 5... and then i went to go pick up esma and then her boyfriend picked her up and then i went to pick up mah husband at like 8 cuz i was still watching tv and then we went to marshalls to go exchange my brother in law's shoe and then we went to mc donald's again for mah husband, brother in law and mah mother in law... so yea and her i am... i'm so glad that i'm not working tomarrow... yea mah old day off... huh! yea today i'm a happy gurl... i don't know maybe it's gonna be my time of the month cuz the other day i was really mad... and tonight it's a happy and good time... and i love mah husband... alot... today he's happy too... and he's really nice to me today... cuz he gave me money... yea i love him... and i'm thinking of all mah loved ones tonight... also i really miss my mom... my real mom... i keep having dreams about her and it just makes me wale up missing her... i miss you mom...

I LOVE MY HUSBAND ALOT AND I MISS MY MOM...

1o27o5
gosh! i'm still going so crazy for this song.. i love it so much... gosh! i'm so tired! today man i was mad all day... mah husband is such a biatch! he let me starve all day and i didn't g4et to eat anything on my break.... i was so angry!!! well i can't believe that it's already thursday night... tomarrow and then i have two days on the weekend to get mah break... away from work... well i'm workin on hollaween... i might just go to mah mother in law's house and pass out candy... yea... who knows... well mah husband is dumb... i don't think that imma be anything this year for halloween... unless imma what i was last year... ha ha ha... what ever i was... well i don't know what to do.. i have to go cuz imma fallin asleep and i'm sooo tired... i have to go pick up mah husband's dum asz and then go hom to sleep... huh yea... i have to go... lotsa love to everyone...


1o24o5
gosh! i'm still going so crazy for this song.. i love it so much... huh finally a day off of work early! i don't know the manager is so gay! he scheduled me until 2 so i guess i only work 5 hours today... i'm still thinking if i should work till 2 this whole week... buttahz i don't know i need money... well i haven't gone to school yet but i need to go so i could get into the habbit of it... mah husband is so gay... i bought a outfit of hmong clothing... and well it cost me about 3 days of work... gosh that's alot... well i gottah go and pick up mah husband so i'll hopefully come back and fix everything... man i really need a life...


1o12o5
huh! it's already wednsday... tomarrow is thursday and well imma get paid my first check! yah! i'm so happy well i think that imma go and buy my brother some shoes... and well imma buy all three of them shoes... and well imma get my nails done... and well i don't know wut else to do for the moment... buttahz i don't know... well i don't know if i could go pick up esma because i just don't know... well i have to call her up and see if she's still up to it... well I'M STILL GOING CRAZY FOR THIS SONG... i hope i could get up to go to work tomarrow cuz tonight i have to wait for mah husband to get off of work.... cuz i took the car...i don't know ... well if anything... i'll come back on here and see wut's happening... i love mah husband...


10o905
gosh... life is so stressful... gosh! well i can't wait until next week end... i don't have to work... and me and my husband are gonna go take pictures... i can't wait... finally we could take some with ourselfs by the pro... and i want to blow them up big... so i could put it in my livin room... well latley... i've been missing my husband... i think it's cuz i've been working... and i've been away from him... he's so sweet... i think it's cuz we haven't been spending time together... i really want to go back to school... but i don't know... right now it's so hard enough... cuz... i work nine - five... and it's not just some easy shietz... it's hard asz hell... mayen i come home with sore feet and my body hurts all over... i got a new doggie... well i named her tinkerbell...and i love her so much... i don't want to take all the credit... esma told me to name her that... i wanted to name her jasmine... but tinkerbell matches her more... GOSH I'M GOING CRAZY FOR THIS SONG I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! well i don't know my parents are in la cross for the weekend.... and i'm here cuz i don't want to stay at home... and everyone is at my uncle long's wedding... my husband went to work and he told me not to go cuz he's not going... and besides my parents aren't going too... huh.... THIS SONG IS DRIVING ME CRAZY I LOVE IT SO MUCH! well until later... i love chia

100805
huh my first day off... well today imma at mah dad's house... my parents went to la cross for thier new years... well i got a new doggie... it's a chihuahua... well how ever you spell it and it's a gurl... i love her... well then i'll have her mate with my dad and them's dog... he's hella horny for mah dog... when he saw her he was looking at her and humping mah leg... well work is going good... i don't like it cuz they put meeh in the shoe department... and i can't stand it... it's hard work and i have to lift boxes of shoes that are so heavy... and this "kay-doo" guy try to hit on me and i just kept walking away... (this was just yesterday) and well since yesterday mah husband didn't go to work until 6 at night... he came to visit me on my break... and we were suppost to go eat pho buttahz mah friend at work... her and her husband didn't want to go so we skipped pho and went to go eat KFC well it was good... i like the people that i work with... they make smile everyday and they make meeh laugh... they're really kewl... i met a few new hmong gurls... i met blondie xiong... money moua's wife... and i didn't know her until melinda told meeh about her i talked to see thao again and i told her that i didn't want any thing to do with her and melinda and wut they had i was kewl... and mai tong... she's still the same as usual.... and i ain't gonna say shietz more... well i have to go... i want to try and make a credit card... well if there is anyone reading this... write me if you have feed back to meeh!

100405
gosh! life is totally changing... imma happy... well i got mah permit yesterday... today i start work... and imma start school tomarrow... huh... mah dad treats meeh like an adult now... well he respects meeh as one... gosh... i don't know i can't believe that imma adult... well imma working full time... and well imma go to school at night... 3 classes... and well maybe soon enough imma start to do independent studies... and then i'll have 4 classes... and gosh! i work for the rest of the week 9 in the morning until 5 in the evening... and since i've got mah "PERMIT" mah husband is gonna let meh drive to work EVERYDAY! huh imma so happy! life is going so good... right now for the moment i love my life... and all the good things that are happening... well i guess some work does pay off a liddo bit... well i have to go imma stop bragging... lotsa love...i'm thinkin of pheng i wonder wut he's gonna do... i haven't talked to him or heard from him... he's in mah thoughts... until next time...

092805
huh wut another day... well this is the first day that i have to acutally wear a sweater... it's getting colder... huh... i hate winter... it seems like it's the longest season of the year... but i also like it cuz... well that's when the family comes together and show thier love to one another... huh... well i can't wait tomarrow imma go and do my papers and go to school... huh imma so happy... imma start to go to school... on monday... i can't wait... then mah husband is gonna have to record that t.v. show "ER" for meeh imma really getting into that show... huh mayen i can't believe that the store didn't call meeh back... imma mad and they gave "MAI TONG" a job... "MAITONG"... could you believe it? well you know sometimes i think that life is so unfair because... well people imma not sayin any names... they get it so easy and meeh and mah husband... we have to work for every piece of food that goes down our mouth... and we have to pay full rent for our place... we don't get any food stamps or any kind of section 8 or anything... wut a biatch! buttahz some people that get all that are still complaining that they don't have enough... i mean huh i don't know... i just need a job and imma start to go to school and get mah life strait... imma not let anyone fawk it up... well i have to go now cuz imma only at the library and mah husband's gonna trip... well maybe next time i'll write more... of how i "REALLY" feel...

092405
HUH! wut a day... well today i went to mah mother in law's house and i went to the garden with her and gosh mah back hurts... well i guess that's wut you do when you're a daughter in law and your mother in law is a gardener... ha ha ha well right now imma still here at mah in law's house cuz imma doing mah laundry... (smile) cuz i don't want to use any more money to do mah laundry... gosh it's like 10 bucks just to do laundry it's hella expensive... well imma here with mah hubby... well i had a weird dream yesterday... huh i saw mah friend's dad have a big green vegetable... like i mean that's not good... well.. oh well thoe... gosh... i miss mah momma alot i don't know wut to do imma going so crazy cuz like mah world is surrounded with people that have great relationship with thier mom... well unoes... guess wut! i got a job interview... i'm so happy... i hope that i get the job they said they'll call meeh on sunday or monday... and then i'll get the job by next week.. huh happy meeh and well... imma start to go to school... yes! imma starting to get everything together.... well i asked mah husband if he thinks that we could save up and go to kali in january... and he said yes... cuz he could get a paid vacation after 6 months on the job... happy meeh! yes... i guess that things do pay off... (another smile)!! okay i have to go... lotsa love to who ever even spends time to read this...

092205
oh! gosh! well i know that i haven't written in here i guess that life is so hard livin on your own i never have any time to actually come sit down and have a good long time just to write in here... well who knows i don't even think that anyone comes and read wut goes on in mah life i guess that this is one of the ways that i get things off of meeh... well yester day night like at around 7:00 pm it was rainin really hard and well this is the worst that i've seen ever since i could remember... well there were trees all over the streets and alot of the power around the whole city went out we were very fortunate that or power didn't go out... gosh! buttahz mah husband came home early from work cuz thier electricty went out... well i don't know life is so hard... you know i don't even know wut imma do about mah life... gosh! i feel like imma going no where in mah life... you know wut i mean... last night when it was raining really hard i was watching t.v. and this girl that i used to go to high school last year at the a.l.c. she's on AMERICAN'S NEXT TOP MODEL i can't believe it! i think that i really need to go back to school... so yea make something of mah self... i dont' know wut... and i want to go and get a job... i need to stop sitting around... mai tong got a job... and imma so jelious.... could you believe it... well at least that mah hubby works for the both of us and he's making more then enough... well mah dog is really big now... and ummm my relationship with mah mother in law is alot better then it was when i was still living with her... like meeh and her we talk and joke around now... and well mah sister and brother in law is fawkin up and mah mother in law ain't very happy with it... shietz if i were her i would be either... and with thier three naughty kids... ha ha ha well gosh... unoes... well today i spent the day cleaning mah mother in law's house like picking up sticks and leaaves... then they did mah nephew's birthday... well yea it was fun... but i hate spending time with mah in-laws with out mah husband... yea he was at work... oh and talkin about mah husband... meeh and him have been arguing alot lately... i think that he's been havin shietz up his asz... well i don't know... gosh and mah boy pheng... i don't know wut's up with him... his birthday was on the 3rd buttahz i didn't have the chance to send him his birthday card... argh! i don't know wut's up with him too... i haven't talked to him latley... gosh shiet'z so hard... well i guess that's all for right now... well if you have anything write to meeh! lotsa love!!!!!!!!

080605
okey! today i saw mah mom just the thought of seeing mah mom i was so happy!buttahzs she didn't say anything to meeh... i had so much to say that i miss her and that i wish that she was still here... buttahz... how to say it i don't know... well i'm at mah brother's house mah sister in law isn't here and imma making chicken for mah uncle... well i don't know wut to do imma go and say good bye to mah momma i don't know when she's going buttahz yea imma go do that... and maybe... i could give her the chicken that i made... imma go back over there in about another hour... well i have to go i guess maybe next time i'll write more.... i hella miss mah momma...

072305
wow... it's been a long time since i've written in here well i don't know where to start... i've talked to non of mah old friends well i talked to cindy i caught up with her i can't believe it she lives like only 2 houses away from mah mother in laws house... they moved... i don't talk to kola she has her own shietz she's in her own "little world" if you know wut i mean... and well i always talk to esma... she's okay i love her lotsa i think that those night that mah husband goes to work and i talk to her about nonsense i think that's made us closer... mai tong i found out she moved too... north side still but up more close to lyndale... and well i haven't talked to shiantay last i heard she wasn't with koke anymore i guess they have thier own problems... and well meeh i have mah own problems... ha ha ha... meeh and mah husband have our own things going on... ha ha ha... well i'm still smoking buttahz i dun't know i've cut down... money has come a big deal for us and well last week meeh and mah husband had nothing to eat for that whole week... well i dun't know i think that moving out is a big asz deal... make you think about your parents... talking about that i really miss mah mom... i think about her all the time and just on wednsday night i had a dream about her and when i saw her i hugged her and i cried and i hugged her really really really tight... well it was just a dream but it felt so real... i really miss mah mom... and mah dad is a biatch... i don't know wut to say about him... and mah mother in law she's okay i guess... she hasn't said anything to meeh... well i guess that's all if ther is anyone that reads all mah crap... talk to meeh tell meeh how you feel about mah life or your... well either way... i love mah husband... and i really miss mah nieces... lotsa of love...


070805
huh long asz time... well a month and 2 days... since i've been here... well i don't know wut to say... i'm quiting smoking... and i'm proud of mah self... i've had mah pack of smokes for 2 whole weeks and i'm still not done with it... usually in like 3 or 4 days i'd have to go buy a new pack.... well people see wut imma writting about mah mom and well mah view on life has changed ever since i've moved out and mah mom's not there i don't know wut's going throught mah mom's head buttahz... huh here i am thinking about her... oh yea and mah puppy is really big now... he is really heavy too... and well he could jump over the gate thingie that i baught him cuz mah stupid husband taught him how to do that and he could shake hand too... and he knows where to use the bath room and yea... i'm so proud of him... meeh and mah husband hasn't been arguing latley... buttahs when we do argue... we argue for everness... and yesterday i went to mah mother in law's house and well she was nice i did some yard work for her and she told meeh that she really wants meeh to move in the house with her again cuz she ain't got no money... buttahz i like it on mah own more... mah dad's being a really big asz biatch to meeh and mah husband... he talks shiet to meeh right in front of mah face saying i don't care and sheitz for him... asz right... just cuz i ain't over there... he gonna trip... and when i was there he was like i should be at home... wif mah in laws.. i wonna go to the temp agencies cuz i wonna start a job buttahz unoes... okey i think it'll be a long time again till i come back on line buttahz keep meeh posted.... yall... lotsa love to mah husband and pheng song... the soccer tournament was fun...
060605 huh well latley i've had mah nieces and nephew over... well for the past two weekends... and well this weekend they're not gonna be over cuz they're going on vacation... to california... well imma miss them like the house is so quiet with out them... i really miss them... dua, gao lee, and tracy, leng and lalee... well i don't know how to react.. everytime that i tell mah husband about how much i love him and how much he means to meeh well he never understands meeh... i don't know wut to say well yesterday i wrote him a love letter... well after i took dua and tracy home... i had them come over cuz they wanted meeh to braid thier hair... well... i couldn't take gao lee her dad was trippin buttahz well i dunnoe huh drug free for so long now... huh oh mah gosh! well all i did this weekend was swim swim swim... well it's nice to be 18... woo... hoo...
052705 okey! oh mah gosh imma at mah dad's house and well they went to nebraska... well so right now imma at mah daddy's house... well tonight kola might have a "party" at mah house... well you kmow wut! imma so happy! mah husband finally have a fawken car and well ummm we got it foe free... mah uncle gave it to us... and well today i went to get mah nails done again too... well i got them short... and huh... unoes wut to write... imma bord... well usually i have things to say.. oh well i talked to mah niece xia and well imma so sorry for her she's following right in mah shoes... well i hope she understands meeh... i don't know if she understands right now seems like she's not thinking about it buttahz she had asked meeh for some money... i told her that i'd help her out buttahz i don't know how much... well her husband has a job now too... she hasn't told meeh much about it buttahz i dunnoe... i hope that she doesn't struggle like meeh... working at her and her husband's pace they're gonna go right through mah husband and mah shoes... maybe even worst... cuz they do all the x-rated things... well i dunnoe... mah life is changing so much that i don't even know how to explain it... i don't see things as it was anymore... well mah husband and i have been struggling so muchos buttahz we made it through... and fawk you to all those people that thought that we couldn't get through... and well the only thing that we worry about now is not having enough money... buttahz i cut down on going to the store and all that... i don't go kick it noe more... and well i don't understand how people could go kick it and use all thier money on thier frands... shietz i can't do that... use all mah money on mah frands... well i dunnoe... okey i think that's all the shietz i'll talk about today... kewl huh...? well imma starting to talk to all mah old frands... monica, linda, slob, kola all of them yea amazing ain't it.... okey gottahz go before mah husband tripz.... i love mah husband so much!!!!

052405 huh it's been long since i've been in here... well i wanted to catch up on everything... well i got mah dog for like a week now he's 7 week and 3 days old well we moved into my apartment and well i smoke in the bathroom and mah hubby hates that thoe... buttahz imma not gonna walk all the way from the 3 floor to outside and then smoke and then walk all the way back... well that's just not meeh... and well imma getting lazy... i think that i have to go back to school too... i dunnoe life has changed so much... well mah mother in law has changed her mind about us she wants us to go back to live with her imma like in her fawked dreams... she need to keep dreaming cuz it ain't gonna happen... and well we have everything in our apartment bed tv all that we just don't have furniture and well maybe we'll get the soon... so i just sit on the ground and mah asz hurtz... well mah puppy is so much bigger today imma at mah dad's house... and well mah chihuahua... attacked mah puppy and i was so mad... and then mah liddo brother lucas tripped and fell on top of mah puppy too... and he was crying i was so angery... and well i dunnoe... on i took mah 2 dogs for a walk and mah puppy didn't even walk i had to carry him... well that's okay thoe... and i hate to clean mah puppy's shietz... it's so... ewwww... well i think that's all for right now... well i guess you won't be hearing from meeh for a while i guess until i come over to mah dad's again... well i think i might be on next weekend.. well mah parents' are going out of town... yes! well unoes we'll see wut happens... i love mah husband and we made it through...
AS OF MAY 15TH 2005 Finally, today is the day that I get to live on my very own!! I finally got to get to bey away from my FAWKEN mother-in-law and all my other in-laws that I hate SO MUCH! My husband got me a dog, too! And I changed my cellphone plan. Well, to those who try to call my old cell, sorry. You have to note me and I'll send you my new phone. And well, I have more "Anytime Minutes". And I got a brand new camera phone, so I can take pictures, texting and I could download ringtones! Unlike my old, cheep one where it's FAWKEN broken so badly. It's FAWKED up because I was mad at my hubby. Well, when ever I get a picture of my puppy, it's a boy, I'll post it up. I still have to name my puppy! If you have any thoughts, note me!!-Mz.Maister

050705 huh well it's early well at least early for meeh it's 10:30 in the morning and mah husband's not even up yet... huh! imma so happy well yesterday i found out that we're getting the apartment and imma gonna be able to move in on the 15th huh imma sooooo happy and mah brother said that he'll be willing to help meeh buy a car too... imma so happy! my life is going up a little bit... talking about happy... well mah boy pheng called meeh imma so happy cuz i got to talk to him... he said that he's doing 15 years and the rest of the 23 & 1/2 years he's gonna be on probation... oh mah gosh! well i really miss him i wish i could tell him wut's really going on and tell him mah feelings... buttahz i don't want to cuz he's too stressed enough already... so i don't wonna break his sweat... well it's kewl thoe... and huh well this whole week flew by for meeh... i don't know wut imma do... i don't know where imma get money from buttah i could tell you that meeh and mah husband is growing stronger everyday and we're gonna be able to work everythang out.. cuz i already talked to him... i love him so muchos!

050205 hey today is one of the happiest days of mah life well i got to see mah niece and her husband they went fishing with us and her husband caught two BIG fishes... well ummm i talked to her and well she is foe shozzies in mah shoes... well i told her that she should do wut i did buttahz i guess that she didn't well i don't know wut's going on through her head... well i guess it's the drugs that she's doing... well i don't know wut she's gonna do buttahz she said that she's just gonna stay with her husband and she's just gonna wait for wut the o.g.'s... and see wut they do... well mah dad had a big talk with her and her husband too... i remember when they used to say that stuff to meeh... gosh it's been like a whole year and well i don't know wut's gonna happen with meeh and mah husband when i think of it i just wonna cry... huh i don't know this is why i don't wonna be married... but i'm glad that imma married... becuz i love mah husband... well i guess it's all for right now...

042805 huh today is another cold day... well imma so tired so i think that imma make this short... well yesterday was snowing and it wuz cuz mah mother in law came to look for meeh and chia... well she's a biatch... and well i got into a big arguement with chia and he left and well i got drunk... well then i threw everything up again knowing that imma really bad drinker... well yea... i thought about everything today and well i love mah hubby... okey and today well we didn't do anything we took mah mom to go and kill chicken... well we didn't look for any cars or apartments today... i think today is mah day off... well tomarrow we're gonna go and fill out those papers wif chia to see if he is qualified to live in those apartment and well i hope that he is so then we could move in... cuz i don't wonna be livng at mah dad's house for ever you know.... well honestly i really miss being at mah husband's house... i miss sleeping on mah bed and just being in mah room... well i don't know i think that it's just meeh... mai tong called meeh yesterday... she's going crazy i wish that she would've went to school with meeh... well i don't really care about it now... and well i'm really falling asleep and so imma go... i love mah hubby... mz mai i miss mah highschool gurl frands from cooper... jenny, dee, nouli, yer, cindy, julie, mellie, judy, chong, pachoua, sai, bau, kb,all ya yea still thinkin about yall... keep it real...

042605 well...today is a cold and rainy day... well i hope that we get to move out asap cuz mah mother in law is being a biatch... she don't know wut she's losing... well i dunnoe inna way imma happy inna way imma angry... well i don't know wut to do imma kinda lost with mah hubby in our own dream world... sheit's so hard right now i guess that we're facing the real world... with out anyone's help... well we're looking for a car too... and right now we're staying at mah dad's house... well mah dad doesn't know... well for right now i don't think that imma tell him too... cuz i don't want him to trip... i think that when mah hubby get off we're gonna go home to grab some clothing too... it's hard just to think of if like this i just wonna break down and cry... i really miss mah boy pheng too... he's a really kewl guy i think that he just got himself caught up in the game of life and he don't know how to get himself out... well i dunnoe... life on meeh and mah hubby's so hard we don't know wut to do and where to go i dunnoe where our life is gonna start or end... i dunnoe... like i said i just wonna break down and cry...cuz after i think about everything i dunnoe it really hurts... and well honestly... i really miss mah mom and i miss everything about her... i don't think that she'll ever forgive meeh for the things that i've done to her buttahz i will always love her no matter wut happens... and for mah hubby.... i think that imma starting to tell and accept to mah self that this is mah very last love and he loves meeh so much and it's starting to hit meeh very hard cuz he does everything for meeh cuz right now we're both walking in hard shoes and he still shows meeh that imma the one he loves and he's there to protect meeh no matter wut his mom says... that imma his number one.... i love mah husband... and i miss mah momma...

042305 huh today is such a fawked cold asz day... well i got mah fishing licence and i went fishing... well i caught a fawken goldfish... in a fawken lake... wierd huh??? and it was so big and ewww. nasty thoe... a fawken gold fish... well werd... buttahz yea mah cuzz xia got married like 2 weekends ago on the 9th... but it was kinda fawked up her wedding is just like mines... they paid her mom and her dad came to take her... well i don't know wut to say she saw how hard life is and she still did that... well it's nice to know that her dad loves her... i don't know.... well i have mah t.o.m. so imma so crabby too... well mah husband must have his too... or he just has toooo muchos shietz up hiz asz well latley i've been thinking about alot of things and well i really miss mah mom... she's been there for meeh ever since i've been a lilo gurl and now she's not here it's just kinda wierd... she's living in arkansaw now how ever you spell it and she took mah baby sister too... well i dunnoe she's just been in mah thoughts... and well last weekend on the 16th we did jingle bell for mah mother in law and she's suppost to be better... i don't know... well gottah go tah tah! i love mah husband even thoe he always has shietz up hiz asz...

040605 huh today imma at home and well mah stomach still really hurts imma so happy well i hope that everything goes as i planned... well i hope that it's not another "regular" stomach ache... well anyways tomorrow... i have a doctor appointment at like 11:45 well i don't know i might even go to school tomarrow... mai tong got her transcript and well i guess that her parents don't know... she said that she wants to go to north and well i guess if she really wants to i guess that she doesn't realize wut kind of shietz imma in and she just gonna run away from it if she wants to she could it's kewl and all... well i think she wants to go there cuz her sister goes there and skittle goes there too... well it's all good thoe... well yea... these past 3 days making me think that i've got to change mah attitude and act like a wife to mah husband and well we haven't been arguin latley too... well i knoe i don't come on here but it's kewl thoe... imma be here to check up everynow and then aite... whut goes around comes back around always...

040505 today mah stomach really hurts and i came here to sleep all day oh mah gosh... i took a pee test and it said it was positive.. i think that i really am... im so happy... imma also scared... well i hope that this is true and it's not just another... you know accident.. well yea i don't know wut mai tong did i didn't talk to her... well i know i haven't been on for a while but i'll catch you up with everything... well on sunday early morning it was daylightsaving and so we didn't have a 3am... it was 2:00 and it switched to 4:00 and well on sunday we went to mah husband's brother's house and they did jingle bell for their nyab cuz she just had her baby... mah mother in law mayen she's a biatch... she was talking mad shietz about meeh... well i was so angry... well it's all good thoe... and mah dad he's being a biatch cuz i dyed mah hair light light light brown... and well the last 2 weeks i've been working at the newspaper... yea so i have a lilo money on the side... well i took mai tong one night and youa said i shouldn't bring mai tong cuz she was the gurl that her husband cheeted on her with so yea and mai tong wuz hella mad... well i don't i know and well mah easter was okey... ummm i did it with mah family my husband had to work... well i don't know seems like i haven't been seeing him i think that i miss him... well that's all for now... i love that one song going crazy by natalie... well it's playing well gottahz go i love mah husband forever.........

022805 okey well i knoe i haven't been on here for a long time buttahz well on last sunday the 20th night meeh and chia slept over at mah dad's house and well mah mother in law went to go sleep at the hospital... well i don't knoe some thing about how she has a bad liver... and she's not getting any blood to her heart... well yea... and she came out on tuesday thoe she's doing better now and well she's been really nice to meeh... she told meeh that she doesn't want meeh to go to court wif mah dad to go against mah mother cuz later on the effects and i might regret it and shietz like that when she was telling meeh that i was crying cuz i was thinking about how mah mom was a biatch to meeh and i was thinking of mah lilo sister... well right now i feel really bad for her cuz she's all alone and noe one's there to protect her from mah mom... well inna way imma not that worried cuz mah mom does love her alot more then anyone else... well i think i really regret it too... well yea then i went to sleep and i was thinking about mah lilo sister how she told meeh that she never wanted for meeh to get married and well i think that i just forgot about her when i met chia.. and well i don't knoe wut's going through mah mind right now... okey and i went to sleep and well i thought that life couldn't get any worst and i had a dream... that mah husband told meeh to dig a hole as big as him and he told meeh to leave and he said that it was his time to die and all that and i was crying and well i don't knoe... maybe that's a dream that it means something... well yea and i was looking all over and i couldn't find him... well yea... okey this weekend i was at mah dad's house all weekend and we slept over on saturday night and we went home last night and we were playing risk with tony, churtau, lecas, and churxa... well i kinda lost so i have all mah land to churxa...and he didn't want to play anymore then he gave all the land to lecas... and yea i didn't stick around till the end cuz i had to go cook and we left the house at 8... well today meeh mai tong and mai nhia and skittle is at the library cuz i don't knoe and imma really erritated that's why imma writting so much well i gotsa go and one of these days that i stay home imma fix up this boring asz page i just like tha song that i put on here thoe... it's really kewl... wells i gotsa go... imma send mah first letter to pheng with a picture... well i really miss him i think in his picture his looks better cuz now he has "meat" well i guess this is all for right now... buh baiz.... i love chia

021905 okay i haven't been on here foe a while and i never have time to fix up mah aa... well it's kewl thoe... well imma so happy... i have mah cell phone back now... well i don't knoe how long we're gonna have it foe... buttahz i really wonna move out... well i don't know wut's up anymore... well i really miss mah boi... pheng... i found out where he waz i wrote him a letter but i don't knoe if imma send it... it really hurts when i think about him... why the fawk do he think that's a way out of life... well to everyone well if you gotz mah cell and ya miss meeh call meeh up... love lotsaz...
021405 gosh! today is the worst day of mah life well i thought that valentines day is suppost to be when love ones tell each other how much they love each other... well mah husband told meh how much he hates meeh... well we got into a really huge fight and he raised his hand at meeh and told his mom that he's gonna hit meeh... well it really hurt when he said that and i started to cry so hard... well i just thought about how when we were getting married... he wuz like he'll never hit a woman or he will never hurt meeh... i cried so hard and then he said to meeh it's noe use to be crying and wasting mah tears... well i told his mom that if he's gonna always be a biatch like that well i ain't gonna stick around foe it... well i don't know then all this shietz wuz said... i don't knoe it hurt meeh so much... well we made up and well i don't knoe i hope our marrage is still okay... i love mah husband always and for everness...

021305 huh imma so happy well i baught mah husband a stuffed pig that's holding a heart wif a string coming out from it's mouth... well i also baught mah husband a box of chocolate... i really wonna eat it cuz it seems good... well i wonder wut he baught meeh... well i can't wait and he's not going to work tomarrow too... huh i can't wait to spend time with him.... well let's just wait to see... love mah husband so much!

021205 well i haven't been on latley... buttahz yea... i really miss esma... i haven't talked to her for a long time... i wonder wut she's doing... well imma at mah dad's house foe the day cuz chia went to work...

020305 well my day is just started and well imma not feeling goo cuz i don't knoe i have a bad feeling about something but i don't knoe of wut... maybe god's trying to tell meeh something's gonna happen... well i don't knoe... i thought that maybe life would be good being married but it's just like going into another world fawken it up even more... well i don't knoe wut to say anymore i think it's time of the month and well emotions start to come up when ever something comes up i guess all that i could do is sit back wif a shot of 151 and a blunt to watch wut's gonna pass thru mah life and who's gonna be in and be outz of this life that imma livin... i don't knoe why imma talkin crazy i think that it's just wut's going thru mah mind... to all those that even care to read these... well i hope that you have the best in your life and don't fawken take anyone forgranted.. cuz yea they might not alwayz be there foe you in tha end... like pheng did to meeh... well i do think of pheng alot now... our pasts will never be forgotten....

020205 well today wuz an okay day well it wus really sunny i think that's cuz i did mah hubby's homework and stayed up until 1 in the morning... well today i went to go get mah nails done at the shop... i got the playboy bunny on mah nails... and i guess there's this new hmong gurl that works wif mah hubby and well i drove up and i saw him talking to her and they were all laughing mayen noe wonder why he likes to go to work on tuesdays and he likes to go early to work... but it's okey it doesn't hurt... i care less... well yea i got the car today so meeh and mai tong went to go cruse.... imma so sick that i don't wonna be here i wish that i could just die cuz i hate to be this sick... well imma kinda disappointed in mah hubby... but imma not gonna talk about it cuz i knoe that he reads mah letterz... well mah hubby has been getting on mah nurves latley... well he got hiz credit card yesterday and he activated it today and well imma go on a shopping spree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yea! well tah tah gotsa go... imma mad at mah hubby..... he's a biatch

013005 OKAY well life is hard well another day wif mah dad.. he's being a biatch latley i got some new music... well mah aunty gave meeh twenty and well i got mah pants back but mah 40 bucks wasn't there... well i don't knoe wut's up... it's not tha fact that they have mah money it's just the fact that they work and they get lots of money like one day if i work on average i get like 60 or 70 bucks a day... if they work they get like 100 somethang already and they work 5 days a week i only work like 3... 4 at the most days... and they both work too... and well i don't knoe they get more money and yet they still have to go taking other people's money... it's some shietz... well i have to get off the net cuz mah hubby's trippin... i think that i miss going to school.... i miss havin a car...

012905 gosh it's been a long time since i've been in here well just on wednsday mah hubby caught meeh... well he came to check up on meeh at school and i wasn't there and well i went to mah dad's house that day but he found out that i wasn't in school and on the 18th mah hubby and i got into a car accident and out car's fawked up well i don't know right now we don't have a car to drive and so we get dropped off and all that shietz... well i don't knoe what and where life is gonna take meeh and mah hubby... well imma having lots of trouble thinking everything out and mah dad baught mah brother kou a car and imma so pist cuz him and hiz wife work and i think that they're just taking advantage of mah dad and hiz money but the thing is... is that they already have a car and mah brother works in the morning and she works at night... well i asked them to come pick meeh up and they said noe... well i always go pick up mah sister in law... and mah brother in law is "angry" at mah hubby for getting into the accident well it's not mah fault that we go into a accident they hit us we didn't hit them... and so imma angry about that... and well latley there's been a lot of deaths... well i don't knoe them but just foe stupid reasons... like that boy that lives in north side... well i don't think that he should've hung himself... well i think that he could've worked things out and that little gurl she's only 13 and she was found murdered... well that's a big asz trip... well i don't knoe i think that latley i've been home alot cuz i don't have a car and i have alot of time to think about everything... well on wednsday that mah hubby found out that i fly he didn't go to work and well he let meeh smoke weed by mah self... and well i think that i'm starting to apreciate all the good things that he does for meeh and well when he's not here i do miss him... well next time you come to mah page i hope that i fix it already... put up alot of new pictures of everyone... i think that i've been lazy to do all that... well take care and i still think of where pheng song is today...

011005 OKAY SO HERE GOES ANOTHER DAY WELL I DON'T KNOE MEEH AND MAH HUSBAND GOT INTO ANOTHER ARGUEMENT AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HIM NOE MORE... WELL HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM ANYMORE... WELL YEA TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY OTHER THEN ALL THE ARGUEMENTS THAT MEEH AND MAH HUSBAND HAD.... WELL I DON'T NOW WUT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US MAYBE WE DO NEED HELP WIF OUR MARRAGE... help? ... :)

010505 okay today imma so sick that i can't even talk... well i guess here goes a day that i don't get to smoke right? i think it's good that imma sick so that i don't smoke... okay well today imma really tired and i don't know when ever imma tired and i can't go to sleep i have to have things go through mah mind and well i don't know imma having so muchos sheitz go through mah head... yea well it's how life is well it's okay... mah life is living hell right now cuz mah mother in law is being a biatch and mah husband is trippin about almost everything that i do... well it's kewl... life goes on... i think i really miss mah boy pheng siong where ever he is right now...

010305
okay today i wuz suppost to go to school but i didn't cuz meeh and mah husband went to go buy our car tabs cuz it expires in december... yea well it's okay thoe... and right now imma at the library wif maitong sheng and mai nhia... yea and well mah husband is somewhere like out side or something like that ... well i don't know i think that imma go to school tomarrow... yea well meeh and mah husband are doing a little bit better... i think that we might not go to work cuz yesterday we woke up late foe work and mah husband was 1 hour late and they wouldn't let him work and then i told the manager that if chia's not working... then imma not work too... then we just left... and we went to chucky cheese with mah older brother and mah baby sister and mah younger brother it was so fun... i'll post more pictures... i love you...

01012005
FINALLY newyears... well mah new years resolution is to stop smoking... well imma trying to but meeh and mah husband has too muchos shietz going on so i think maybe i'll go at mah own pace... well yea today is so crazy... we had to do that "ua neng" shietz foe with mah inlaws... and well last night i stayed up until 3 in the morning making "nava" cuz meeh and mah nyab fawked it up and mah brother kou fawked it up even more... yea well it's okay thoe... i have to work tonight too... well happy new yearz to all...

123004
okay well today it was an okay day well mah husband got mai tong into deep shietz cuz i took her to the "DOCTOR" and well i don't know mah life is really fawked up right now and meeh and mah husband are getting into alot of arguements... yea well i hope shietz turn out better...

122504 hey well today is christmas well mah first year with mah inlaw family... well this morning i went to mah sister in law tanee's house and we open gifts there... and then we went to doua's birthday party and ate there and then we went to mah dad's house and lecas is mad at meeh cuz i didn't take him and then we went to mah real mom's house to drop off the presents for mah sister and brother and then we are home right now to change... yea... well i don't know we have to go take pictures at mah in law's house cuz he has a studio... in hiz house.. yea so when ever i have time i guess that i'll come and fix mah aa... MERRY CHIRSTMAS

122104 yea well today wuz the most boringest day in mah marrage life and i actually stayed home all day and i didn't do anything... well right now imma kinda pist at mah husband cuz i don't want him to drink and that's wut he's doing to meeh right now... what a bitch huh? well yea anyways... i was talkin to shengie foe like not even 2 seconds and he went down stairs and i went to go look and he was there wut a asz hole... well yea and well he's been acting like a biatch latley and i really hate it i think that's why i've been so mad latley... i think he hasn't shietz that really big cow out of hiz asz yet... yea well it's okay thoe... well mah brother in law nhia came home foe the holidays... and well i heard he's gonna go home next month sometimes... well and mah brother's gonna come home on the 28th or something like that and mah step sister goes back on like the 25th or something like that... yea well it's kewl i guess it's gonna be mah time of the month...

121504 okay well maybe i think that asianavenue is mah last resort... well latley i haven't been home and even now i'm not at home well i'm at school... well yea well could you believe that i went to school? well anyways.. there's been alot of stuff that's on mah mind... well for the past whole week... meeh and mah husband's been getting into alot of argues... well about money... school... moving out... etc... well he's been doing alot of stuff that i think is really suspicious... well the holidays are stressing meeh out too... well it's cuz mah husband has been keeping alot of stuff from meeh and i don't have any money left to use cuz it all goes to the presents... well i hope that meeh and mah husband gets to move out by the end of the month or if not then the beginning of next month... yea... well i don't know wut to say to mah mother in law too cuz she's gonna be like why do we want to move out when we don't help her and all that shietz you know all the o.g. crap.. well i've been thinking that latley i haven't been talking to anyone and well alot of mah "friends" dis meeh now and days.. well i just realized today that i can't even talk to mah friends about anything any more well the only real one i could talk to is ESMA ... well she really understands and well i think that right now meeh and MAI TONG is getting kewl too cuz she's struggling the same thing i did with mah mother she's struggling the stuff with her sister too... well i don't know alot of stuff's been running throught mah mind and well i don't know what to say anymore... well also i'm so stress cuz every year i'd spend it with mah momma and our family... well, last year i spent it at mah dad's house and noe one was home and well i still remember that i got that special phone call from mee jay saying that he just got out well i really do wonder what happened to him...??? well yea and this year imma spend it with a family i don't even know and i don't even want to be there well i don't know i just don't like mah sister in law she's a biatch... well yea this year we're doing secret santa with thier family so then we don't have to use so much money on them and well i'm buying all mah nieces and newphew things and then when i have mah kids they have to give them stuff even if they don't want to cuz i got thier kids stuff... well i don't know... so much crap... well i think that imma change this page as soon as i could be able to stay home cuz well i've been too buzy... yea well i gottah go aites... much love and respect...

102104 gosh.. it's been almost a whole month since i've been in here... well alot of stuff has happened... i don't really work that much anymore only saterday, sunday, and monday.. well i don't know i got into a car accident like on the 12th in stp... east side and well it was with a fawken mexican dude... and well he didn't know how to speak english.... he didn't get any money cuz mah check bounced and he didn't get anything of mines except mah licence plate number and my name and mah number... well yea... i didn't think he'd be that stupid... oh well... and i haven't been going to school latley... last week i went foe like a couple of days... but i didn't feel like going... well anyways... i bitch at mah hubby everyday so he could get the car fixed but he's to lazy... and finally when i wuz gonna kill him he got it fixed on tuesday the 19th... and i wuz so mad cuz he's being a bitch too... but at least he got if fixed... and yesterday, today, and tomarrow we don't have school cuz of some teacher's meeting or something... well it's okay... and mah gurl told meeh... at the rate of how meeh and mah hubby are she don't think that we're gonna last... and i thought about that... it's been getting of mah nerves lately cuz i've been thinking about mah past latley and i don't know how to let go and tell mah self that it's never gonna come back no matter how much i try... every song i hear it reminds meeh of mah past and well i think it's just kinda hard to let go of the past... i don't think that mah hubby will understand... but foe now peace outz aites...

092904 well today i didn't wonna go to skue so i flew AGAIN... well i might go tomarrow imma at mah daddy's house today... well i really miss him i think i've been thinking about him latley... well he's been sick latley too... well gottahz go... i love mah hunny and i had a good dream tonight...

092804 gosh!it's been a long time since i've been in here well i don't know mah life is okay well i haven't been to skue in like the past like 2 weeks well i think that imma go to skue tomarrow or something... well i don't know i think that flying skue is gonna do meeh any good... well anyways... today i went to that family court thing and i waited foe like an hour and they didn't even talk to meeh... well mah dad said that we might get mah liddo brother... well imma happy... oh well when i got here i told mah dad that' i've been having bad dreams latley and so i told him about mah dream about that seal thing... and mah hubby wuz walking in water and so he tied a white and red string around mah left wrist and well i hope i don't have any more bad dreams...

090504 huh another sunday... well i didn't go to work wif mah hubby... i don't know why luis doesn't put meeh on the schedule foe sunday anymore... well ever since i july... now imma gonna be working sunday starting next sunday... well on friday night i had watched a sad hmong movie with mah mother in law and it made me cry cuz i dunnoe it wuz relating to mah situation... well then i thought of mah ex's and mah mom and mah dad all mah brothers and all and i realized that you know we're all doing our own thing... no of us are together... mah brother kou and hiz wif like hates mah guts now and 2 mah brothers are in the navy... i realize that i never really spent time wif mah brother dee as we were groing up... only plichis....well i really miss them... and mah brother xa... i always cry when i think of him... well i had told chia how i felt and well i think he started to feel weird cuz i told him the movie reminded me of mah ex and i and i also told him i called soua the night chia came to pick me up and told him everything... well i hope chia understands... i don't have anything left for any of mah ex... only memories that's all...

090304 today wuz so fun i went to the state fair for once in mah whole life... well we flew skue and went...meeh, chia, mah brother vang and his "gurl" wendy... mah babe won meeh 2 big stuffed animals... i mean huge!! well i had to work today too... oh mah brother in law came home from the army last night i think i heard them say he's only here till monday... yea so short... that's wut i think...

082804 THEY DID MY WEDDING TODAY! im so happy... well imma so tired too... i woke up early and im goin to sleep late... well in the morning we ate... we went to mah dad's house... and they ate there... then they talked... then they drink...they made meeh and mah green gurl dress in hmong clothing then they told us to go where all the guys where so we could stand there and listen and well i wuz getting lecture by all mah aunts and uncles and nyab's sisters and all that... well mah dad pulled meeh away and told meeh alot of stuff... like how he wishes meeh well and how he loves meeh... i cried to him cuz mah real mom wasn't there.... well i really miss her even thoe it's really hard... and i drank wif mah hubby and we went home... i saw esma she came foe a few minutes... judy, and her baby, chong and her baby, and jenny i wuz so happy to see them... cassie couldn't come... and mah husband's drunk so he went to sleep in the bed room...ha ha ha so funny

082204 huh... no time to come in here anymore... well i guess it's finally done... well chia came to pick meeh up today... well i know it's hard but i guess i had to go... xia wuz suppost to come and sleep over today too... but she didn't... i took wendy/gao nou to target and she baught some flip flops.. they were so cute... she wuz gonna sleep over too... but i left wif chia so she went home wif uncle long...they're gonna do the wedding on saterday i hope that things go like how i want it too... i really miss mah babey im so happy and excited thoe... even thoe i hate spending time wif mah mother in law cuz i don't feel comfortable wif her...we'll see wut happens next...

080704 well it's been a long time since i've been in here i don't get to come on line that much... well i'm going to school and i'm also working the only days i usually have off is sundays and tuesdays... well i don't know shietz wif meeh and mah hubby's hard i don't even know if their gonna come back... to all the people that have supported me in everything thank you and to mah parents most of all... maybe i'll start to write in here more...

053104 gosh i finally am gonna start thix thing... well today i didn't do anything... stress with mah hubbie again... well i went fishing... and well i caught fishies.. not as much as i did the other day buttahz it's okay... well i hope i get to fix up thix page more....