Author: Chauni

Email: ChauniMaxwell@mechpilot.com

Website: www.oocities.org/asukalangley2nd/

Warnings: Angst

Disclaimer: I don’t own Evangelion, no matter how much I try, nor did I make any money off this.

Pairings: Shinji + Asuka

Evangelion

One Man War

Shinji had found her at last, lying in a half filled bathtub of water. The building around her was in shambles; the ceiling had collapsed and lay in piles on a shaky floor. Only half of walls still stood, and what remained of them bore cracks and shook with every step he uncertainly took across the floor. The only thing that seemed not damaged beyond all recognition was the tub.

The showerhead still stood tall, water droplets clinging desperately to the holes that they had once had flown through. The tub itself was black from the dirt and concrete that surrounded it and the inside was only half filled with cloudy water.

She had disappeared some while back, leaving Hikari Horaki’s house to go off on her own. She hadn’t been the same since the last angel attack. Her synch ratio was the lowest ever; her confidence and arrogance had left her. It was as if the fire had been sucked from her very soul. Of course, that was almost to be expected after the savage mind rape of the angel.

Shinji looked at the almost lifeless body of his companion. She lay naked in the dirty water, her skin pale as if Death had already laid his hand upon her. Her eyes stared upward at nothing but the cloudy blue sky. Her hair, which obviously hadn’t been washed in days, hung limply against her dirt-smeared face and floated lazily in the water.

Shinji sighed as he got his arms under her own and pulled her upward. Although he was anything but strong, he managed to get her wet body upright, even though he had to do so by leaning it against his own. Her head lolled backwards, still looking at the sky, as if she had no idea she had even been moved.

He shifted all her weight to one arm, while he strained and grabbed the handle of the wheelchair with the other. He pulled it close, and then put his one arm under her knees with his other holding her back. With all his strength, he lifted her out of the water and placed her delicately in the chair.

He grabbed the bag he had set on the floor nearby and dug through it until he found the clothes he had brought for her. She had left most of them at Misato’s house when she had begun staying at Hikari’s, which benefited him a great deal in this case. He blushed slightly as he began dressing her limp body, but just as when he had lifted her from the tub, she did not seem to acknowledge his presence.

Once finished, he began to wheel her out, almost tipping the chair twice on pieces of fallen ceiling and wall. Once outside, his eyes scanned the street, expecting to see a black nondescript car pull up and four or so men in black suits and dark glasses come out, saying that they had to go with them.

Thankfully, the streets were empty.

He began pushing the wheelchair down the sidewalk, looking down at the catatonic female.

The horrid scene still haunted him. The angel’s light enveloping her Eva, enveloping her. Her screams were coming at him from all around, while he was powerless to stop it. Then, Rei launching the Lance, and it was over.

But he had been wrong.

As he ran through the vacant streets, the bag he had packed for Asuka and him bounced repeatedly off his back. Clothes, toothbrushes, and food filled the it to the brim.

“We need to get away, Asuka,” he whispered. “We’re going to go far away, away from all this killing, away from the Eva’s, away from the angels, away from my father.”

Her eyes stared ahead, focusing on nothing.

“I’ll protect you, Asuka,” he said, still running. His breath had turned into a heavy panting. “For once, I’ll protect you.”

Shinji finally stopped his trek in a park on the other side of town. The day was still bright, with the sun shining blindly high in the sky. No one threatened their excursion, as the streets were still empty. The park seemed the only thing in the city untouched by the recent attacks. The trees continued to stand, the benches still sat unoccupied, the swings swayed gently in the wind. Everything possessed an unnatural calm as if Nature itself knew the torment they had suffered and offered peace to them, if only for a moment.

The Third Child rolled the wheelchair next to a bench underneath a tree and sat down. Staring at his fragile companion, he took her hand gently in his own, squeezing it softly.

“I’m going to take care of you, Asuka,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

He swore he could hear her speak, her voice cold and humiliating. How do you plan on doing that, you idiot? You don’t even have a job!

“I’ll find a job,” he defended. “A job and a nice house, far from here.”

You are such an idiot, her phantom voice accused. You think you can just go out and find a job like it’s nothing? You’re just a kid!

“We’ll find a way,” he whispered. “Just as long as we both are far from here. You can get better if you’re far from here.”

He heard a soft sigh as a subtle breeze blew gently through the tree leaves. Better? I’ll never get better. I’m useless. I can’t even synch with my Eva anymore.

“We won’t have to worry about synchronizing anymore,” he said. “We won’t have to worry about the Eva’s.”

I’m nothing without my Eva.

“Don’t say that!” he yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her roughly. “You are something! You are something… to me!”

Without my Eva, I am useless. I can’t do anything now. I am obsolete.

He stood above her, looking down. Tears began trickling from the corner of his eyes, rolling down his face in rivers and falling onto her cheeks, as if she were crying. “Stop it, Asuka. You are not useless! I-I need you, Asuka! I need you to help me be strong.”

No one needs me.

“I do,” he whispered, laying his forehead atop her shoulder. “Please, wake up, Asuka. I need you. I do. Please, wake up.”

The voice grew hard and cold. Stop it you idiot! You are nothing but a coward! You can’t use me to make yourself feel special! I am not your doll! I am here to pilot the Eva’s and nothing more! I am not here for your benefit! Without the Eva, I am nothing! Leave me alone!

The coldness he swore he could hear in her voice shocked him. It was underlined with self-loathing, such a hate for all life around them. He began to shake slightly. I mustn’t run away, he thought. I mustn’t run away. I need to be here for her. I mustn’t run away!

Oh, here goes the great hero, now, her voice said again. You can fight and kill angels and be the perfect Eva pilot, but you’re going to run away from a girl! Coward! Go ahead and leave me! I am no good anyway.

“Stop saying that!” he yelled. He picked his head up, complete with tears, raised his hand, palm open, and slapped her across her face. Her head snapped to the side, hair flying as if in slow motion, and then hung limply against her shoulder. Even through the shade of the overhanging tree limbs and branches, the red handprint began to develop almost immediately.

She acknowledged none of it. She continued to stare in front of her as if nothing and no one was there.

“A-Asuka,” he whispered, his mouth suddenly dry. The palm of his hand stung slightly from the impact. He brought it to his face, shakily, and saw the redness there. “I-I’m sorry. Oh, God, I am sorry!”

You cannot handle this, Shinji. It was a different voice. It was Misato. You know what you have to do.

“I can’t!” he yelled, still staring at his hand. “I won’t!”

You are of no help to her. Misato.

A weak, small, childlike voice, Asuka’s. Help me, Shinji.

“I can do this!” he said, standing up behind the chair and grasping the handles.

You are a child. Asuka.

“I was old enough to pilot the Eva,” he said, voice rising to a yell. “I was old enough to kill the angels! I was old enough to be put through this hell! I can make her better! I can take care of her! I can help her!” Was he trying to convince the voices or himself?

Misato, again, calm, logical, and collected. How can you help her when you can’t even help yourself?

He stopped, the sunlight striking his face, tears like diamonds standing on his pale youthful cheeks.

Shinji looked down into the pale face of Asuka for what seemed like an eternity.

You are doing the right thing. Misato.

Help me, Shinji. Asuka.

“Forgive me,” he whispered. He delicately brushed a lock of limp hair from her eyes, and kissed her cheek where he had struck her. “I lo-” but all he could do was stand in silence for a moment, staring at her. With that, he turned and left the abandoned building, leaving her in the bathroom where he had found her.

He walked outside and used the payphone, dialing the Nerv offices. He could not bear taking her in there, the guilt and accusing looks he knew he would receive would drive him right back out. He feared Nerv, he feared the people there and they way they thought, but he knew they would be the only ones that could help Asuka, the only ones that could save her.

The phone began to ring.

Several minutes after Shinji had left, Asuka blinked. Her lips formed a word, a name, “Shinji,” but no sound came from her dried, gummy mouth. Lightly, she touched her reddened cheek, the shook her head, as if coming from a daze. She stared down at the chair in which she was seated, and looked puzzled.

She stood, and removed all her clothing, folding it neatly and setting it on damaged floor. She pushed the chair slowly into a shadowed corner, then went to the bathtub. It was still filled half way with dirty water.

This is all I deserve, she thought, as she stepped in and lay down, letting the water lap up to her chest.

“Synch ratio zero,” she whispered to herself, staring at the lack of ceiling. She heard the approaching footsteps but ignored them. Nothing mattered any longer, especially not her.