Author: Chauni

Website: www.oocities.org/asukalangley2nd/

Warnings: Angst, Language, Yaoi

Pairings: 1x2, 1x3, 3x4, 5+2

Disclaimer: I don’t own GW. Made not one dime off this, so no suing please.

In Wake of Redemption

I hate hotels.

You would think by now that I’d be used to the rented beds and cheap cleaning chemicals that hung in the air, but I’m not. I liked the impersonal atmosphere of these pathetic rooms, don’t get me wrong, but it’s something more. They reminded me of myself.

And I hate myself.

I wanted to fall asleep, but I was not allowed such an escape. Even my laptop would not accept my will to drive these thoughts from my head. I sat and stared at the green screen as it flashed numbers and letters that all ran together into one big pond of electronic light and it nearly drove me insane. I almost threw it out the window, but restrained myself quite nicely, I think.

Instead, I punched a hole in the wall.

I laid down on the hard bed, attempting to fall asleep in my clothes and atop all the blankets. I slipped my arms underneath my head and stared at the ceiling for close to three hours before deciding I was fighting a losing battle. Growling, I sat back up and began walking to my discarded laptop on hopes of drowning in cyberspace, when someone began erratically pounding on my hotel door.

I pulled my familiar gun from my black bag and cocked it, slipping silently over to the door. I took a breath as the pounding began once again.

“Who is it?” I growled.

There was silence for a moment, and I could hear the rain outside. It crashed down with a hurricane-like fury, battering on the cheap aluminum overhang that ran the length of the motel. White light fell into my dark room for a moment, the object of someone’s headlights outside in the parking lot. My suspicions were confirmed as I heard a man and woman go drunkenly giggling past outside my room and slam their door shut.

“I asked, who is it?” I growled again, holding my gun tight.

“D-Duo.”

Shit! How the hell did he find me? I stuffed my weapon into the front of my pants and let him in.

I’ll be blunt; he looked like shit. His hair was matted to his face in wet rivers, parting just enough around his eyes to catch a slight glimpse of the dead violet orbs. His skin was pale like parchment and his face turned shamefully to the ground. He was wearing his usual all black ensemble, but it clung to his waif-like body like death. He tried to hide his shivering, but it was more than obvious to my trained eyes.

I stepped out of the doorway, allowing him passage. He spared me a frightened glance, but walked inside anyway. I sighed and made my way to the bed, tossing him one of the blankets that sat unused atop it. He looked at me again, confused.

“Wrap yourself in it, baka,” I growled. “You’re shaking.”

He fumbled with it for a moment but finally secured it around his thin body. He remained standing, his eyes attached to the hideous brown shag carpet below, dripping water onto the floor around him. I gave him a few moments to speak up, but upon seeing he would say nothing (imagine that), I took control of the situation.

“Why are you here?” I asked, my voice low.

His eyes didn’t move, not that I’m surprised. “I have a letter for you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“A letter?” I replied, slightly surprised. “From who?”

He took a minute to answer, as if trying to remember. “Trowa,” he finally hissed. I watched as his arms moved inside the confines of the thick blanket and a second later, returned with an envelope, only slightly damp. I chose not to question how he had managed such a feat, considering the current condition all of his clothes were in. He stumbled to me, holding the letter out at arm’s length as if it were going to explode. I took it from him, tore open the envelope, and began to read.

Heero,

You have proven your strength time and time again, in battle and out. You marveled all of us at one time or another during the war. You were the prime example on how to be soldiers and combatants.

During that time, we had dreams and plans for when we were finished, each with our significant other. We were robbed of those hopes for a year, Heero, an entire year, but now we are getting our second chance! I do possess feelings of a romantic nature for you, Heero; I can admit this. But it’s not what’s for the both of us, and you know it. Our futures were predestined for both of us. Look at Duo and tell me that I am wrong. He is your path to salvation, just as surely as Quatre is mine. Accept what has been placed before us:

Redemption.

Trowa

I raised my eyes, peering through my bangs. Duo stopped shaking but was now regarding me with an odd sort of confusion. I wondered if he had read the letter, but finally figured he did, considering his personality and all. My eyes began to roam over his body, eating at every piece of him that I could see.

The body was beautiful; always has been. I remember the first time I saw Duo; of course, how couldn’t I considering I now have two scars as a constant reminder. Even then, he was gorgeous, standing with the wind whipping his braid around and his body straight and tight, looking like the soldier he truly was with his gun leveled at me. But now, it’s different. Now it’s just his body, that shell, that I want. The Duo that I loved is long gone; I can tell by his vacant eyes.

“Tell Trowa thank you for me,” I muttered, falling back onto my bed, my eyes attached to the water-stained ceiling. This place was pretty disgusting; I was really desperate. “Goodbye.”

His face paled for a moment, turning an ill milky white color under the soaked chestnut bangs. His mouth worked silently while his eyes regarded me with sheer disappointment. Defeated, his gaze found the shag carpet and without a word, he turned and headed towards the door, blanket still clutched around his throat.

My eyes slipped shut and I held back a sigh. What could I say? That person that Trowa talked about didn’t exist anymore. There was nothing I could do.

“NO!”

The yell brought me to my feet, tensed and ready to pounce. Old soldier habits die hard, I guess. I met the flushed face of Duo, who stood staring at me with an unbridled anger. He threw the blanket to the floor in a flurry of cheap cotton, and took a step towards me, fists clenched.

I could feel my mouth hanging slightly open as I stared at him. I was completely transfixed by his eyes; those captivating amethyst orbs that flashed with fury. They danced, they moved, they called me closer, begged me to drown in them.

“I’m sick of this!” he screamed, teeth flashing like fangs. “I won’t let you do this to me!”

My arms folded across my chest without me knowing it. I regarded him with an inward veiled inquisitiveness but only let contempt reveal itself on my face. “What the hell are you talking about now?”

“You know what I’m talking about, damnit!” he screamed. “I’m not going to let you walk all over me anymore! You can glare at me with all the hate in your damn body and that’s not going to change a thing!”

I ate at his words like they were Ambrosia. This was what I needed, what I had needed the entire time. His passion, his life, is what made me desire him. That walking picture of death he had been since he came back made me loathe him, made me believe he was still gone. This anger, this rage, though, it was his proof of life. After all, it was his passion that made me love him in the first place.

I had been denied this for too long, however. I had an insatiable hunger that wanted to devour his emotions, suck out his fervor, and make him a part of me again. He wasn’t at his full potential yet, not by a long shot.

“I told you to leave, Duo,” I growled, my eyes narrowing.

He took a shaky step back under my glare, but snarled and reclaimed his spot. His eyes hardened as his mouth began to work faster. “You expect me to walk out that door without saying anything? Do you really think I’m that weak that I won’t stand up to you?”

“I figured you would with the way you’ve been acting lately,” I coldly replied.

“Well, you’re wrong!” he hollered, a flush riding high in his cheek. He shook his head, icy raindrops flying off and hitting my face. “I have fought for over a year to be with your dumb ass, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk out without a fight!”

“A fight?” I looked at him like an idiot and laughed, coaxing him further. “You want to fight me?”

For a moment, he looked a bit put off, as if regretting it all. I hated that look of defeat, despised it as much as I could. I needed him to fight me! I needed him to be alive once more, because if he wasn’t…then neither was I.

Something flashed in his eyes, too fast for me to read, and his fist connected with my jaw, hard. I stumbled back a few paces, rubbing my injured mouth, glaring at him. It didn’t hurt; things like that didn’t particularly bother me. In fact, I was actually quite used to them. He stood panting to the side of me, his face hard and white, while rivulets of water streaming down the sides of his face.

My heart jumped inside my chest, out of lust more than anything else, to be honest. His panting, his wet clothes that looked sculpted on, that wild fervor gleam in his wide lavender eyes; I wanted to take him there. The smell of passion drifted off him in waves, and I wanted to make myself known. But not yet…he wasn’t there yet.

I leaped across the room, seizing one of his arms, and threw him against the wall with a resounding thud that more than likely pissed off the neighbors. He attempted to punch me once more, but I easily evaded his blow. Growling, I grabbed him by the throat and slammed his head against the wall. He stared at me, mixed emotion riding in his eyes.

“Is this the kind of fight you wanted, Maxwell?” I snarled into his ear. He smelled so good, flowers and musk all at once.

“You’re a cold-hearted bastard,” he managed to choke out. “I can’t believe I came back for you!”

“You weren’t too worried about me while you were screwing Wufei,” I hissed, noting with some malicious twisted glee his face paled significantly.

He struggled beneath my iron grip. “Like you’re one to talk! What about you and Trowa, huh?”

Hn. The bastard caught me on that one. “Doesn’t matter now though, does it?” I said, my voice low. I leaned in closer to his ear as my hand tightened around his throat. “You should have left when I told you to.”

“You think you can scare me?” he threw back. His breath was sweet and warm; I wanted to eat the mouth it came from.

“I’m not worried about scaring you,” I replied, closing off his throat a little more. “I’m just telling you a fact.”

I didn’t even see him move; his face never once changed as his fist sailed upwards and caught me in the gut. Reflexes forced me to release my hold around his neck and double over, unto which he kneed me in the jaw. I flew backwards, banging my head off the metal railing around the bottom of the bed. I could taste blood in my mouth, metallic, bittersweet. I wanted him to taste it from there as well, wanted nothing more than for him to lap up my life.

His shadow fell across me and his eyes regarded me with a familiar coldness. “You’ll never beat Shinigami.”

I slowly sat up, ignoring the screams in wounded part of my head. I could feel a thin trickle of blood running down the back of my neck, tickling my flesh like spiders. “You’re too cocky for your own good.”

“You just don’t know when to quit,” he shot back.

His eyes, gods help me, but I was caving in! I wanted so many things right then, but this was all I ever needed. He looked at me with disdain, thin and transparent. I wondered if he knew what I was doing, if he had any clue whatsoever. After a moments thought, I realized he must, because he hadn’t left yet.

“You have no idea what you’re getting into,” I snarled. My eyes didn’t betray a single thought or desire, even as my leg shot out and caught his, sending him tumbling to the floor in a loud thump. He groaned as he struggled to sit up but I was already on top of him, sitting on his stomach, his arms caught under my legs. I regarded him coldly, and to my surprise, he stared defiantly back at me.

“What now?” he asked.

“Tell me why you did this,” I ordered. His chest heaved beneath my legs and I had to control myself quite thoroughly to quell any urge to take him.

“You’re such an idiot,” he snapped. “You know why I did this! I spent the last year of my fucking life fight to be with you and I’m not about to walk out that door with one hell of a climatic battle!”

“Why did you break?” I growled, my eyes narrowing.

His eyebrows rose with a sort of confusion. “‘Break’? You mean, how come I’ve acted differently? Shit, I just showed up outta the blue! Figured you needed some time to yourself, kinda to gather your wits.”

I’d like to say that he was lying, but I knew better. That was the one line he didn’t cross. Even the God of Death had some sort of morals. “It was more than that, and you know it.”

He didn’t turn away, which surprised me. I shifted my weight on top of him, listening to him groan in protest. “Fine! I couldn’t stand the idea of you with someone else, all right? I saw how you looked at him! You used to glare at me like that, damnit!”

I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but chose to keep quiet.

“You fucking forgot all about me while I was gone!” he continued, voice cracking. “You didn’t give me a second thought! Do you know how much that hurt, considering all that I was going through to find you? But you didn’t give a damn about me!”

My palm flashed out and struck his cheek, rocking his head to the left. A handprint sprung up immediately, accusing and harsh against the paleness of his flesh. His eyes stared up at me with confusion and pain, begging me for an answer.

“You don’t know what it was like while you were gone,” I hissed, leaning over. My face was inches from his, our noses so close they almost brushed against one another. His eyes were wide and all encompassing; I struggled not to lose myself in them. I had to be careful on how I spoke, or my lips might brush his, and that would be the end. I wasn’t about to stop…yet.

“I thought I saw you everywhere, in restaurants, in stores, on television, in my fucking bed,” I spat. My eyes blazed with an inhuman fire; I could see it reflected in his gaze. “I had given you every part of me and you had left me! You think I didn’t care? If that’s the case, then you’re a fool!”

His mouth worked for a moment, but nothing issued forth. He looked shocked at the raw emotion and rage in my voice, but that light still danced across his face, that breath-taking life. I needed him, needed to refill me, needed to complete me, needed him to redeem me.

“I lost hope of you ever returning,” I went on. “That’s when I turned to Trowa, after I had finally buried you! But when you came back, after you realized what had happened, you were just as dead as when you were gone! You were lifeless, damnit, with your hollow eyes and dismissed face. I couldn’t stand it! That’s not the person I remembered, damnit! That’s not the person that I fell in love with!”

It was almost comical on how his face brightened, a smile jumping onto his lips so fast it was blurred. His arms snaked out from under my loosening legs and flew around my waist as he struggled to sit up and pressed his face into my chest. My heart ran an unimaginable pace, loving the feel of his body so close to mine, relishing in the fact he was finally here with me, all of him. I shook my head, and pushed him away, forcing him to lie back against that hideous shag carpet. He tossed me a mischievous smirk, winking at me playfully.

“I told you, you should have left when I said to,” I said, my voice even and face unreadable.

He laughed, light and joking, and I loved it. “Make me regret not listening to you, Heero,” he purred, eyes sparkling like jewels. “Make me regret not taking your wonderful, worldly advice, oh great sage!”

I finally allowed the eager gleam to slip into my eyes, the corners of my lips curving upward. I leaned forward until I could feel his excited breath spreading over my face like a warm blanket. He didn’t look afraid, just that mock caution he usually gave me when he knew he was annoying me.

“I’ll make you regret everything,” I hissed. “I’ll make you regret leaving me in the first place.” My lips fell onto his, devouring them completely. I forced my way into his mouth, reveling in the sweetness there. Our tongues danced, twirling and searching with unknown urgency. I had forgotten how wonderful this was, how liberating his body was.

He somehow flipped us over until I was on bottom, his wet body chilling my own and soaking my clothes. He eagerly found my neck, nipping at it with his sharp teeth. I moaned underneath him, my arms sliding up to his back, under his wet shirt, and drug my nails down his smooth back. Above me, he groaned into the crook of my neck, his body arching.

He pulled away and looked at me, lust and passion plainly displayed across his eager face. Gods, I wanted him! My hands drifted up to bring him back down onto me, but he slapped them away. I opened my mouth to throw some threat to him, but he grabbed my face in a tight, iron grip, holding my eyes with his.

“It’s not nice to play with someone like you did with me, Heero,” he growled. “I’ll make you regret it.”

I smiled beneath him, my eyes lighting up like fireworks. “Promise?”

“Is my name, Shinigami?” he replied, then fell back onto me.

Forget everything I have ever said, ever felt. I would never be lost again; I had found my home. Thank you, Trowa, for showing me what I was too blind to see.

In Duo, I had found my redemption, and damned if I would let anything take it away from me again.

Salvation is mine.

The End