Ah yes, so I must inflict more horror upon you all! Muwhahahaha! Anyway, this is my version of William Shakespeare’s classic, “Romeo and Juliet”, done with Heero and Duo of Gundam Wing. I don’t own “GW” or “R and J”, nor did I make any money off this. This is my present to you all for Valentine’s Day! Have a wonderful day!!!!

Romeo and Juliet

Gundam Wing Style

CHAUNI: The pilots of both Wing and Deathscythe have been kind enough to remake the classic, romantic tragedy of “Romeo and Juliet”, after much coercing.

DUO: You threatened to put us in a Pokemon crossover if we didn’t, Chauni.

CHAUNI: [cough] Ahem, be that as it may, you’re still here. And because I am lazy and didn’t feel like writing out the entire play, I just took part of the balcony scene. Duo will be playing the lovely Juliet, decked out in a formal dress and all, while Heero will be wearing the latest silk finery for that era.

DUO: Haha! You have to wear tights!

HEERO: Hn. You’re wearing a dress.

DUO: [pouts, defeated]

CHAUNI: I figured he would be used to the tights considering his spandex. [shrugs] Anyway, on with the show!

DUO [coming onto the balcony]

Ay me!

HEERO

He speaks: O, speak again, braided baka! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As the self-detonation of a Gundam,
Burning in destructive wisps of golden fire
Across of midnight sky.

DUO

O Heero-chan, Heero-chan! wherefore art thou, Heero-chan?
Deny thy Gundam and refuse thy mission;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a God of Death.

HEERO [Aside]

Shall I hear more, or shall I shoot him?

DUO

'Tis but thy occupation that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a pilot.
What's a pilot? it is nor gun, nor Gundam,
Nor spandex, nor tanktop, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other employee!
What's in a job? that which we call a mission
By any other name would be as fun;
So Heero would, were he not a pilot call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Heero, doff thy assignment,
And for that job which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

HEERO

I take thee at thy word:
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;
Henceforth I never will be a pilot.

DUO

What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night
So stumblest on my counsel?
::mumbles:: I’m starting to get sick of talking like this.

HEERO

By a mission
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
My job, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee;
Had I it written, I would self-detonate the word.

DUO

My ears have not yet slurped a million words
Of that tongue's uncustomary rambling, yet I know the sound:
Art thou not Heero and a pilot?

HEERO

That’s not how it goes....

DUO

How did thou get here, tell me?
The orchard walls are big and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my over-protective family finds your cute spandex butt here.

HEERO [growling]

With my supreme training, did I o'er-perch these walls;
For stony limits cannot hold this pilot out,
And what missions can do that dares missions attempt;
Therefore thy stupid family are no threat to me.

DUO

If they do see thee spandex, they will kill thee.

HEERO

Alack, there lies more peril in thine endlessly flapping mouth
Than twenty of their Mobile Suits: look thou but annoying,
And I am proof against their enmity.

DUO

If thou keepest talkingth like thatth, I’ll callth my OZ kinsmen here.

HEERO

I am not such a foolish soldier to allow them to find me.
I am in the dark for a reason: to hide me from their sight;
And but thou love me, let them find me here:
My life were better ended by their explosions,
Than death prorogued, listening to thy ramblings.

DUO

So, who told you where I was at-th?

HEERO

By Dr. J, who first did prompt me to inquire;
He lent me training and I lent him my skill.
I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far
As that Lunar Base so far above,
I’d still come to rescue you, baka.

DUO

Hey, Heero-chan, swear to me that you love me,
Unless thou wishest to spend thy nights on the lonely couch.

HEERO

Baka, by that blessed moon I swear-

DUO

Nah, don’t swear by the moon, that inconstant moon,
That monthly changes all the time,
Unless you’re just as fickle and want Trowa in your spare time.

HEERO [growling]

What do you want me to swear by?

DUO

Don’t swear at all;
Or, if you really want to, swear by thy gracious Shinigami,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I guess I can believe thee.
Now, come up here and kiss me, you big pilot of manflesh.

CHAUNI: And so, that is all we are able to show you of this classic-

DUO: You know you want to show them more! [wink wink, nudge nudge]

CHAUNI: Nah, I’m greedy and like to keep that for myself. Happy Valentine’s Day

everyone!