Author: Chauni
Email: ChauniMaxwell@mechpilot.com
Website: www.oocities.org/asukalangley2nd/
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravitation or its charries....as lovely as they are.
Warnings: Shonen ai, POV, Light language, Sap
Comments: There is no real plot, and the imagery is lacking for a reason...it's first POV. I made Shu a lot more elegant, a lot more serious, but a bit flighty and happy as it was; he's in one of his more somber moods. There's no real plot, just a lotta thinking and sap and shonen ai. Here...enjoy
It won't come, even as much as I try. A fool to them all, but I don't care, don't even think twice at the ridicule and confused looks they all swing in my direction, because damnit, the words just won't come out! The paper's so white, unblemished, screaming to be covered in lyrics to a song that has to become a hit, but I can't even string two syllable's together, let alone words.
Grabbing the sheet in two shaking hands, I began yanking it apart, gnawing on the top of it while my unfocused eyes stared back at the matching shell-shocked expressions that got me from all corners of the room. One of K's hands twitched, the fingers itching to grab that revolver underneath his jacket, while Hiro shook his head in a defeat that I had known for years. He was a bit used to me, I guess.
Looking down at the torn mess, I released my hold and spit out the slimy bits of dead trees. They can't stop staring at me, as if I'm some insane person that's going to jump out the nearest window in our studio or something. Do they really think that li- Nevermind, don't answer that.
"I'm going for a walk."
They all knew that translated to "I have to get my mind on/off Yuki", taking into context whichever one gave me this damn block in the first place. Well, wouldn't they be surprised to know that it's nothing to do with him, but with the band, with Nittle Grasper, with everything in general. My life does extend outside Yuki, after all.
Granted, not far outside of him, but it does!
No one stopped me; they knew I needed to get my head cleared, which was fine with me, even if I could feel Hiro's eyes burning holes through the jacket I just picked up. He worries too much, and sometimes I wonder if it's because-
Nah, not Hiro!
The streets were busy outside after I dodged through the hallways and prayed to God I wouldn't run into Tohma or anyone else. I didn't have a real direction as I dodged between the bodies, none of them paying attention to me as I slipped the baseball hat onto my head and pulled the brim down lower. I was definitely getting more popular these days, and it's never too much to be careful, you know? Safety first!
I didn't realize that I was arriving at a rather familiar park sometime later, standing down the same pathway by that customary bench. The wind was blowing the same way, soft but with enough force as to not forget it's presence, and it constantly knocked my hair into my face, no matter how much I tried to push it back. The day was slowly killing itself, and I could feel the heat of it all against the back of my neck and running through my shirt as if it could light my soul on fire.
Too bad it's already too late. Someone beat it to it.
Images overlapped, with the past pressing against the present, grainy images superimposed on lack of figures. Sometimes, I swear I could see those tiger eyes staring at me, just above the burning embers of a newly lit cigarette while smoke wafted up gently and making reality seem like nothing less than some perfect fantasy.
At least til he opens his mouth and berates me.
Yeah, it's constant, and I can tell he doesn't mean it, but it sure as Hell pisses me and just about everyone else off. His voice just grows so cold, like some nightmare grabbed a hold of his tongue and started speaking, while his eyes turn so deadly, so... damn scary.
So, why do I stick around, you're all wondering. Simple.
'Cause I know those eyes, that voice, aren't meant for me, but for the rest of the world that did a nice little stampede all over his battered little soul.
That's why I dressed up as a girl, and a banana, and a dog, and went chasing after him to America. That's why I'd break through walls, belt out songs, and cry if he doesn't look at me in the right way. That's why I love him so much.
Because the world hated him for so long, and didn't retract its claws once, I was left to mend his soul with this little needle and piece of string I have. I've poked my fingers til they've been bleeding and raw, but each time I gain a little bit more skill...
And I grabbed some thimbles.
The bench was cold, shooting right through my clothes as I plopped down on it. Night was in full swing, leaving me to realize that I'd been out here a lot longer than I had intended to be. It's not a big deal; no one's missing me right now since they think that I'm somewhere else with someone else, be it Hiro or Yuki.
Damn, it's getting cold out, all at once like the night not only took the sun's place, but banished all the heat to some other dimension with it. I pulled my legs up to my chest while my little arms locked tightly around them. My breath's so hot against the tops of my knees, like I’m the only warm thing left in this world, the only thing that hasn't gone off to some desolate little corner and died.
I was getting whiney.
I wish Yuki were he-
"Hey!"
There's a sudden weight that's dropped around my shoulders, heavy and thick, while the familiar scent of leather is swimming thickly around me. My eyes move up, wide and expecting to see faded golden hair and those entrancing eyes that could melt me just as much as one of his -
"Hiro?"
The way his hair danced in the breeze that night was-
"C'mon, I'll take you home."
His hands were bound in these fingerless leather gloves, and they sneaked under my palms, unwinding me from my nice comfortable spot on the bench. Of course he wasn't expecting the sudden fall I took as I stumbled forward, landing completely on my face so badly that I would be pulling blades of grass from my teeth for hours.
I turned to gaze up at him with a weak, hesitant smile as he stood illuminated under a pregnant moon. "My legs are asleep."
I could tell he wanted to call me a "baka" or something, but instead he just kneeled down beside me with his back to me. The auburn hair brushed back and forth against the smooth leather of his coat, moving in this alluring sort of way. "Climb on."
"Wheee!" My arms tightened around his throat enough to get him to cough several dozen times before he picked me up, off to carry me to his bike just outside the park. I could just hear Hiro now, walking along the sidewalk to find me, "Stupid park rules! Making me walk all this way! I have a mi-"
"Hiro, how did you find me, anyway?" I murmured into the slick black jacket.
There was a moment of hesitation, almost as if he was caught with his hand in the jar of cookies or something. "I know you better than you think I do."
"Apparently." I whispered, closing my eyes and seeing Yuki's face staring back at me with that expression, that small smile that he leaves only for me. "Just don't ever forget how well you do know me. You come in handy sometimes."
He made a mocking movement, like he was going to drop me on my butt right there, and I clutched onto his neck tighter, yiping all the while. Another coughing fit later, we were at the bike, my arms around his waist as we began to speed off down the street back towards Yuki, towards my little sewing project, a newfound respect for those closest to me sitting down inside.
Some days, writer's block just wasn't so bad.