RP: Take My Wings
Notes: A small piece depicting
Kazu in a less-than-stable state of mind. Song is “We Will Meet Again” by VAST.
The State We're
In
It was the same American music kissing his ears,
same entrancing vocals that sang the same words again and again, syllables
pirouetting on haunting notes. Another friend had given this to him, whispering
of its greatness as they wandered out of some club months ago, and so in love
with the music, Kazu had kept it still, skillfully changing the subject
whenever the topic of giving it back arose. He had gone to several friends, and
after having them interpret the lyrics, he had sat beside his window for weeks
while working, learning every inflection, every sound to the smooth piece.
Now, it flooded the open air of the building’s roof,
floating on the kind wind that drifted gently at his back, twisting on the
direction. He didn’t care that it was loud, that it was most likely upsetting
the neighbors; they were the least of his concerns during this day. He was
waiting for someone, waiting for that familiar face, knowing that he would
come, that he had to come, because Kazu couldn’t do this alone.
“Where have you gone, My love, My friend, Somewhere
without the rain …”
He hadn’t realized he was humming with the stringed
instruments until the sound met his ears, biased and cool in its loneliness. He
was getting tired of standing on this ledge, and the wind continued to threaten
to push him forward, back to where he began. Gremory must have found the note
by now, and Kazu knew he wouldn’t ignore it; after all, he had used the Guide’s
old knife (still crusted in places with his own blood) to attach it to the
door. He wondered if Gremory would see the significance in that, or the irony.
Probably not. Such a shame that all this would go to waste if he didn’t quicken
his pace, wherever he was.
“I feel afraid now, I feel alone, We will meet
again…”
The pale eyes shifted to the street that lingered
below, idly watching the people strolling past, ignorant, careless. He
remembered that feeling once, of complete and utter self-absorption. Nothing
outside the pre-determined little box. It was a pleasant feeling, as though
everything aligned just for you.
The sky was bleeding fire, a darken crimson kissed
by a burning dusk. Dimly, carried on wings of wind, the sound of car horns
caressed his ears. He favored the music much more so he tuned out the world,
white noise on a black television, and stared at the door to the roof.
Come on, Grem. I know you couldn’t blow that off.
He clasped his hands down in front of him, fingers
tangling into a knot as they locked. He looked demure, passive, pretty and
silent. He was the epitome of outward patience, the lengths of his lips curled
into a gentle half-smile as he blinked slowly. Choosing to lose himself in the
music, he hummed once again, the soft play of strings settling his nerves. He
was anxious to do it, to end it, to be done…
“Can you recall what we once knew, somewhere without
the pain. I feel afraid now, but not alone. We will meet again…”
He saw the door move before he heard it; quite a
shock, really, considering it was an ungreased metal thing that took quite the
amount of pushing before it would normally shift open. But the movement caught
and held his eyes, and mesmerized, he could not turn away as Gremory shoved his
way to freedom. And he was exquisite, cheeks pinched pink from the dash, ebony
eyes wide and attached to him, him and no one else. The world did not travel
outside of those set parameters, no, no.
“What is this?” he panted softly, and Kazu could
almost hear the thoughts of quitting smoking churning through his head. In his
hand he held the letter, Kazu’s lazy scrawl decorating the entirety of it,
while a slit was near the top from the where the knife had pierced it. “What
the hell is going on?”
“I just wanted to see you,” Kazu whispered, that
same haunted smile licking at his mouth with a languid tongue. “Just something
to carry me down, if you will.”
Kazu watched as the color drained from the Guide’s
face, paling it to the color of the sweet ashen hair that brushed against his
cheeks. Oil-slick hues drifted to the gauzy white of the ankle length dress he
wore, the way it shifted in the wind, danced, twirled.
Kazu never wore complete white.
“I can't hear your voice, but you know I feel your
soul…”
Catching his gaze, Kazu smiled, a hint of color
snaking like thieves into the smooth cheeks. “I wanted to look beautiful for
you when I saw you in Heaven, Gremory.”
That off-kilter smile remained for but a heartbeat
after the words left his lips, before his mouth curled into a troubled frown.
His brow drew together as he winced, as he doubled over slightly, ebony locks
shielding his face. The sound of the radio was replaced with the sickening
wetness of flesh splitting, tearing, forcing itself mercilessly apart for the
path of something larger. Black wings did not appear as one who knew him might
have expected, no six pairs of appendages fighting for the kiss of dusk. This
time, only the broken, shattered bones, three along his right side only were
visible, hollowed ends jagged and dripping with crimson life, marring the
pristine purity of the white dress. And when he finally raised his head,
brushing midnight hair away, the right eye had faded, dusting out to a
calloused color of ash, flat and impassive.
His lips parted with a sigh painting them, a sound
that was remixed and played back with two voices overlapping, entwined,
inseparable. “I am tired, my love. Tired of it all.”
“Where have you gone, my love, my friend…”
“I think,” the hybrid murmured, dual voices
entangled, “I think I forgot how to fly.”
He watched the Guide drop the letter, eyes following
its drifting decent, before they raised to meet the nightmare eyes filled with
panic. He was lunging forward, attempting to close the distance between them,
but he had made certain to take the farthest ledge from the door. Kazu had
planned for this for days, hours ticking by with only the sweet thought of
release devouring all conscious thought, nothing but this final promise licking
at his weary mind.
It was so simple, so easy, just like death. The
jutting bones twitched behind him, as if flapping phantom wings, and leaning
back into the updraft of wind, feet abandoned the ledge and he was falling.
“Somewhere without any pain…”
“KAZU!”
He felt himself plummeting, the darkness of his hair
blotting out the sky as it flew up around him. The silver head grew distant as
the screams of his lover struck down at him with the force of speeding trucks.
He watched the Guide leaning dangerously over the ledge, could swear he saw him
crying, could taste the other’s tears on his lips, even though the laws of
reality forbid it. Thin arms rose up, as if he could touch those shimmering
cheeks, could take the liquid diamonds, the fresh pain, away with him and down
to Hell where it all belonged.
Kazu didn’t have to look to know the ground was
rushing at him, didn’t have his ears open to the screams of the onlookers; his
eyes were blissfully closed as he tilted his head back. He wanted to remember
the blessed moments of love, a warm blanket to wrap himself in. He needed
something to remember, something to remind him that it wasn’t all bad. His mind
flickered, and rooted itself to a single second, a single heartbeat where
everything wonderful had began, and with a smile, he latched onto it, living it
once more.
Gremory sucked in a wet, choking breath as he looked
over his shoulder at Kazu standing there. His ebony eyes still expressed
immense grief, but an underlying glimmer of hope as well, that maybe, just
maybe, he could still have Kazu. If he just proved it, he could...
He turned around completely and took a step towards the other, only to stumble on his liquid legs and fall to his knees before Kazu. His hands formed white-knuckled fists that rested on his thighs, his gray head still bent. He struggled with all his demons, all his guilt, before he rose, still on his knees and wound his arms around the slim form before him. He buried his face in Kazu's clothes, the tears still not ceasing their flow.
"You're... you're everything... and..
I..." He bit down on his lower lip, fighting down the demons that churned
in his stomach, pounded at his head until his vision blurred. He was feeling
physically sick, and yet he still tried to force the words out, to push past
everything else and just express how he felt with spoken words. And as he
exhaled, they came. Three, small words that shook him right down to his
shattered core.
He inhaled hard, wet, unstable as another wave of
sobs hit him, his arms tightening around the other. "I... love you so...
so much..."
Eyelids fluttered open as he noticed the other
looked so small now, an insect standing atop an impossible mountain. But that
was okay, because this was best, the final act in a play that never seemed to
end.
Lips parted to speak the one truth he knew, the one
that had never left him, that would cover him and keep him safe until he could
see Gremory again. Maybe he would have remembered how to fly then.
“I love y-”
The End