Author: Chauni

Website: www.oocities.org/asukalangley2nd/

Warnings: Comedy, OOC, Crossover, Yaoi, AU

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4

Disclaimer: I don’t own “Gundam Wing” or “Martian Successor Nadesico” or “Fushigi Yuugi” and no, I didn’t make any money off of this.

Notes: Okay, with that out of the way, I just want to say a few things. 1) I don’t know why this came to me, but like some other stories that shall remain nameless ( “First Annual Mr. Gundam Wing Beauty Pageant”), this story hit me at work, right at the beginning, so I had 8 hours to dwell on this and how it would proceed. 2) This is going to be a comedy (I hope) with general OOC-ness throughout. Sorry, but you can’t really have it any other way considering what we’re combining here. 3) Oh, yes, the timeline is different. (SPOILER!) Gai is here, alive and kicking! I guess you could say then that this takes place in the first couple of episodes, but I think I’m going to through in some stuff from the “After Gai” shows, so lets just say its an Alternative Universe thingie. Sorry all, but I’m an avid Gai lover (even though I think his death was sort of fated)! ^_^ and finally, 4) I’m bad and evil, but I hope you enjoy this. It was fun to write and there aren’t nearly enough Nadesico fics on the web!

Chapter 1

What Now?

“Gekigan Flare!”

The plain metal walls of the small room had grown tired of that phrase months ago, but their owner had not. The sound had been expertly memorized right down to the timing and inflection in each solitary syllable so he could cry it out in perfect synchronization with the characters on screen. He sighed contently as he shoved his hand into the nearby bag of popcorn he had “borrowed” from the kitchen, ignoring the few kernels that escaped his fingers and fell onto the blanket he was huddled in.

Ah, yes, Gekiganger. Day after day, he lost himself in the timeless cartoon that had become his passion. The beautiful style, heart-wrenching drama, intense themes, gorgeous mechs, yes! This was what life was all about! Unconsciously to himself, he began mouthing the all-to-familiar words in perfect synch with the series.

Just as his heart finally began to slow down from yet another stressful day, he heard the one thing that made his blood run cold.

“Akito? Akito! Akiiiiiitttttoooooo!”

He slung the blanket over his head, crossing his fingers. Maybe if I’m really quiet she’ll go away.

The door slid open as his thought ended, mocking him. He heard the soft footsteps move his way, then felt the blanket being ripped away from his head. He suddenly found himself staring into a familiar pair of gray-blue eyes that cursed his nights and days. He scrambled away, but knowing that he was caught, just offered a half smile.

“Akito, why didn’t you answer me? Didn’t you hear me?” the woman chastised in the cheeriest voice possible. She cocked her head to the side, long shimmering blue hair slipping over her shoulder in a waterfall, while a round, small hat sat crooked on her head. She looked as though dressed to attend a meeting as she stared at him from her stately uniform of a tight white shirt and short black shirt, a red Nergal badge on her arm.

“Don’t you know how to knock, Yurika?” Akito growled, a blush creeping into his cheeks. “Remember what happened last time?” He dreaded recalling that time she had busted in on him while he was wearing only a towel, her face so blissfully content on the fact that she now possessed the key to the entire ship.

“I thought that maybe you didn’t hear me,” she replied, smile covering her face. “Anyway, Akito, I came on official business.” Her expression turned serious as she regarded him evenly. “Seven miles off to the west is what was believed to be a dormant chulip. However, three hours ago it came to life and spat out three human beings, which we are holding right now for questioning. We believe that they may be spies for the Jovians. I was hoping you would come down with me to interrogate them.”

“What do you need me for?” he inquired, raising a brown eyebrow. “I’m just a cook.”

“Why, for my protection, of course!” she cried, smiling once more. “What if one of them got loose and attacked me? I know you would never be able to forgive yourself if you weren’t there to save me!” She grabbed his arm in a vice-like grip, hauling him to his feet. The beige blanket fell away revealing a lean body clad in a yellow and black uniform, all of it clinging in just the right places. Grinning, Yurika Misumaru pulled the angry pilot to his feet, dragging him out of the room.

And Gekiganger played on.

A gruff, ox-sized man with a lined face colder than Heero could ever hope to accomplish met the couple at the doorway to a box cluttered storage room. It seemed as though not even the thought of a smirk had once graced this man’s lips, let alone the actual thing. He wore a three-piece smoky suit that seemed almost out of place amid all the uniforms that the rest of the crew had donned. He leveled his hard eyes at the two people, and then turned to look at the three people that were handcuffed and tied to three simple wooden chairs in the center of the room.

“They refuse to talk,” Gort Holy said, voice as emotionless as his face. “They say they want to talk to the captain.”

Yurika shrugged and skipped past him, while Akito threw a curious look at the three men and then to Gort. “What’s with the rope and handcuffs? Shouldn’t handcuffs be enough?”

The large man looked flustered for a moment, then muttered, “They kept escaping the cuffs. I don’t understand it.”

Akito followed Yurika’s suit, shrugging and walking past Gort to stand in front of the three bound men, or rather, teenagers. They all looked drastically different, each with their own nationality, all of them silent. One was Japanese possessing a closed, emotionless face that was stern and severe yet oddly attractive. His harsh, cerulean eyes were pools of Artic water, reflecting nothing of himself or his intentions. To the right of him sat a glaring Chinese boy, hair pulled back into a brutal ponytail, with a few shimmering black silken locks escaping and tickling his face. His almond eyes glared at those before him, a sneer riding his tight lips. And finally, on the side of him, was a bound American boy with hypnotizing violet eyes and a chestnut braid that never ended. A smug, almost arrogant, smile was proudly displayed on his mouth.

Yurika took a comfortable seat on a nearby cardboard box, a lopsided grin dancing on her lips. Cocking her head to the side, she cheerily said, “Hello! It’s nice to meet you! Can you tell us how you came through that chulip?”

Heero raised a dark eyebrow, slightly put off by her cross of bluntness and merriment. His face quickly regained its customary deadpan expression as he replied, “We will say nothing until we speak with the captain of this ship.”

The woman jumped up from her spot, her grin wide enough to make her eyes squint as she thrust her hand in front of herself, forming a ‘v’ with her two fingers. “Why, that’s me! I’m Yurika Misumaru, Captain of the Nadesico!” Behind her, Akito slapped his hand to his forehead, cheeks turning a ripe shade of pink with embarrassment.

“You are the captain?” the Chinese boy screamed. “This doesn’t seem just!”

“What does that mean?” Akito growled. “Yurika is a fine captain!”

The woman’s face instantly light up as if her entire world had just been reborn to her liking. “Oh, Akito!” she yelled throwing her arms around his neck. “I knew you loved me!”

“Onna!” the bound boy hollered, tearing her attention away from the object of her affection. “You can’t even handle an interrogation, let alone a ship! Let us speak to someone strong and in command. And male.”

“Do you think you could untie us at least?” the braided boy asked, his eyes large and watering in a pleading manner. “Puhleaze?”

“Sorry, but I can’t do that,” Yurika said, releasing her hold of Akito’s neck. “At least not until we find out more about you and how you wound up here.”

The American cast a guarded glance at the Japanese boy as if asking for permission to speak, which he was answered with a nod. Clearing his throat, he said, “Well first off, let me introduce ourselves. My name is Duo Maxwell, while the perpetual grumpy guy with the ponytail is Wufei Chang and that strong-silent-type over there is Heero Yuy. To tell you the honest truth, we don’t know how we got here! We woke up and found ourselves handcuffed with those wimpy, unfashionable, little metal bracelets of yours.” He shrugged. “Last thing I remember was being in Dr. J’s lab, looking at some plant-like thing that sucked us into its psychedelic center.”

Yurika delved deep into thought as she looked over at Gort, who remained by the doorway. “Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, and Wufei Chang…why do those names sound familiar?”

Obviously accustomed to his captain’s airheaded ways, he answered her shortly and calmly. “They were the heroes’ of the war two-hundred and seventeen years ago. Supposedly, they disappeared shortly after peace had been achieved, presumed deceased.”

Akito lunged forward, face shocked. “Then how can they be here?”

A blonde woman in a long white lab coat and small round glasses poked her head into the room. “Is this my cue? Explanation time!”

Yurika and Akito took a seat atop the boxes once more, munching on the popcorn Akito had brought from his room, utterly enthralled as the woman walked into the room, chart in hand. Duo cast starving glances at the snack food, stomach growling loud enough to receive angry looks from Wufei and hushing words from Heero’s eyes.

“Well, as was proven by you some time ago, there is time change when traveling through the chulips,” Ines Fresange began, pointing at a crudely crayon colored chulip on her board. “Well, perhaps something reacted differently with their DNA or body structure or perhaps even something else.”

“When that chulip thing sucked us in, my necklace started glowing,” Duo chimed in. He looked over at Wufei and Heero. “Yours did, too! I saw it! Those were the necklaces I gave you for Christmas two years ago! You still wear them! That’s so sweet!”

Wufei tossed his head, attempting to ignore the wash of sentiment while Heero shrugged. “The color matches my eyes.”

The scientist ran over to Duo, grabbing his tied shoulders and shaking him roughly. “Where did you get them?” she growled.

Duo rolled his eyes up in thought. “Well…”

Somewhere on L2 in 195 AC

A young man stood beside a small booth, yelling out to passersby. He waved items around, begging and pleading for someone to buy the said rare and mystical item. His hair was a strange, yet beautiful, aqua color and beneath his bangs a red symbol radiated, “Ogre.”

“Aw come on! I gotta make money somehow!” he pleaded, high-pitched whine creeping into his voice.

“Ooooooo!” Duo came bounding up, eyes wide. “Those are pretty! I’ll take three of them!”

“Wooohooo!” the seller yelled, grabbing the money from the pilot’s outstretched hand. He carefully counted it not once, but six times, and upon finding it to be the correct change, kissed it and stuck it into his pocket while handing the boy a bag containing three pendants.

“Come on, baka,” Heero growled, stalking up behind Duo and grabbing his braid, pulling him away. “We have things we need to do.”

“Aw, you can self-destruct later!” Duo whined, waving goodbye to the shop and owner. “I bought you a present Heero….”

Akito and Yurika worked on the ropes that bound the three boys to their chairs, freeing them at last. Once they all stood, Yurika smiled and waved at each one of them, while the rest of the company stood behind her with dread in their hearts.

“Well, since we are your best bet to finding a way home, then I suppose you’ll just have to stay here with us aboard the Nadesico!” she said. “And we could use some more pilots!”

“Does that mean I can be a cook from now on?” Akito asked eagerly.

The captain giggled. “I know that you don’t really want to be a cook, Akito! You want to protect the ship and me and I know you’d feel terrible if anything were to happen and you weren’t able to stop it! No, we’ll just have a few more pilots to add to our arsenal!”

“Where will we get three more Aestivalises?” Gort asked.

“Oh, I’m sure Uribatake Seiya can whip us up something,” she answered, flashing a ‘v’ sign to her new crewmates. “Welcome aboard!”

“You mean, we have to serve under you?” Wufei questioned, dread leaking from every word.

“Yes!” she replied, smile still on her lips and flashing him another “v” sign with her fingers.

“NOOOOOOO!”