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- "Charlie's Angels"
(Reviewed October 24, 2000, by James Dawson)
- This is like some bizarre, alternate universe version of a soft-core porn flick. It has the requisite extremely dumb plot, incredibly bad acting, achingly unfunny attempts at humor,
and
girls who are supposed to be hot. But instead of sex scenes, we get lots of bloodless martial-arts fights and stuff blowing up without hurting anybody. Surprisingly, the chop-socky stuff is the best thing
about
the movie, with lots of "Matrix"-style bullet-time shots and frantic flying fists and feet.
Also, a tip of the hat to the producers for not casting actresses who might have distracted from Cameron Diaz. I found it very easy to tune out chubby Drew Barrymore and scary Lucy Liu, so I could stare
agog
at Cameron whenever all three "angels" were on screen. The best scene in the movie is an utterly shameless slow-motion ogle of the divine Miss Diaz's apparently all-natural breasts bouncing wildly in
her blouse as she dances. Yum.
MTV's Tom Green is truly terrible in a cameo role, Bill Murray's talents are pretty much wasted, and most of the music cues are inexplicably plucked from the 1970s. (Will any teens seeing this movie
know
the song "Brandy, You're a Fine Girl?") But Good God, does Cameron ever look good in that all-white leotard.
Back Row Grade: D, for Diaz.
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