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The Glass House
(Reviewed September 13, 2001, by James Dawson)
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Insultingly stupid would-be thriller that is so bad you will wonder at times if it is TRYING to be lousy. Leelee Sobieski, that long, tall drink of delicious deadpan delight, is horribly miscast as an orphaned teen sent to live with guardians who are Up To No Good. Absolutely zero suspense, lame action, moronic plot and an ending that makes no sense whatsoever. (Let's put it this way: If someone were about to put you into a car that you knew had no brakes, don't you think you might take the trouble to TELL THEM RIGHT AWAY why you didn't want to use that particular car?)
The movie gets points for providing slavering Leelee fans with a bikini scene that is wholly gratuitous, when she decides to take a 3am swim to relieve her stress. (Wha...????) She also is frequently braless in spaghetti-strap cotton tops, and looks most fetching in a pair of sweatpants. Even those small pleasures aren't enough to bring the grade for this bomb above an "F," though.
Instead of wasting money on this mess, stay home this weekend and watch the news to find out if the US will get around to bombing Afghanistan a little closer to the stone age. Those are the kinds of bombs the American public is more likely to enjoy right about now.
Back Row Grade: F
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