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A Guy Thing
(Reviewed January 9, 2003)
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Not even two weeks of 2003 have passed, and yet already I feel certain that this horrendously lousy movie will make my "Year's 10 Worst" list. Holy Jesus, is it bad.
For the life of me, I simply cannot fathom the appeal of actor Jason Lee. How does this guy keep getting work? He has no discernible acting ability, charm, or sense of comic timing. Not to be shallow or anything, but the vacant-eyed, weasel-faced, Hair-Club-for-Men candidate is not even good looking. Normally, his name in the credits alone would be enough to make me seriously consider blowing off a movie screening in favor of staying home and staring at a blank wall for two hours.
The reason I roused myself to attend "A Guy Thing" was because it also stars Julia Stiles, who is kind of cute in a Pekingese-faced way, and who was good in 2001's "O." Unfortunately, she's not good here, mainly because no thespian in history could pull off the act of pretending to find Jason Lee romantically desirable. (At one point, when she has to tell Lee he is a nice guy, the next shot should have been a used, extra-large crack pipe falling out of her purse. But no!)
Stiles plays one of those flakey, free-spirit stereotypes of which the movies are so enamored, the kind of rootless, job-hopping wisecracking-but-wise sprites who inspire button-downs to try things that make them afraid for a change. God help us.
She meets one-week-away-from-his-wedding doofus Lee when she appears as a hula girl at Lee's bachelor party. (I am not sure in which universe this bachelor party occurs; in the one where I live, the duties of bachelor-party girls extend somewhat beyond hula dancing.) Lee is engaged to rich, uptight Selma Blair, who should have gotten movies like this out of her system after appearing in last year's stunningly awful Cameron Diaz fiasco "The Sweetest Thing." It doesn't take a Stephen Hawking to figure out where the plot goes from there.
Not a single laugh, no nudity, and Jason Lee. Stay home and stare at the wall. I wish I had.
Back Row Grade: F
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