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Alex & Emma
(Reviewed June 19, 2003)
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A serious contender for worst movie of 2003. The premise is idiotic, the pacing is horrendous, the script is stupid, and Kate Hudson is Kate Hudson. Look, I'm sorry, I know that some people persist in thinking Goldie Jr. is cute, but I can't stand her. It's bad enough that she can't act, but she seems aggressively smug about not caring that she can't act. "Look at me, I'm flighty and blissfully dumb and a blank-faced cheerful idiot. Life is good, tra-la, tra-la."
The airheaded blond moron plays a stenographer hired to transcribe a book dictated by Luke Wilson in 30 days so he can pay off a $100,000 gambling debt. The guy must get a hell of a per-word rate, considering that said "novel" ends up sounding more like a very short short-story, but that is the least of the movie's problems. Hudson and Wilson's romance has absolutely zero chemistry, their dialog is beyond awful, and...ah, fuck it, I just can't go on. This movie is so bad it is not even worth wasting the time to slam.
I hated this movie more than I hate evil, cruelty, and uncaring injustice in a savage world gone mad. That's how bad it is.
Back Row Grade: F-minus, minus, minus...
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