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Anger Management
(Reviewed April 7, 2003)
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All you need to know: THERE IS NOT A SINGLE LAUGH IN THIS ENTIRE MISBEGOTTEN MOVIE. NOT ONE. NONE. YOU WON'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE. In fact, the anger you will have to manage by the time this bomb is over will be your own, as you desperately try not to punch out the ticket-seller and the theatre manager in bitter, enraged frustration.
Look, I'm not one of those elitist a-holes who automatically despises anything Adam-Sandler related. Sure, I loathed last year's "Punch-Drunk Love" (my choice for Worst Film of 2002). And I didn't even bother to see "Mr. Deeds" or "Eight Crazy Nights." But I still fondly recall "The Wedding Singer" from way back when, and I own more than one of the guy's comedy CDs, which are pretty dang funny. ("Sex or Weightlifting," from "What the Hell Happened to Me," is a personal favorite.)
Having said that, "Anger Management" is so relentlessly unfunny as to defy belief. One of its problems is that its plot makes no sense, even within "alternate comedic universe" terms, with an ending that is so dumb it truly boggles the mind.
Jack Nicholson is an anger management consultant who moves in with Sandler by court order, after Sandler is hit with false assault charges. Nicholson proceeds to be very annoying. Sandler becomes increasingly annoyed. That's pretty much it. There is not an iota of cleverness, wit or style, just two hours of a schlub getting ticked off by a prick until he wigs out. What fun.
Two other things bothered me about this heaping pile:
(1) Brazenly blatant product placement, including (a) a huge company logo atop the Brooklyn Bridge (or one of those NY bridges, anyway; hey, I'm from LA, they all look the same to me) that I somehow doubt is really there; (b) frequent shots of an "Army of One" billboard, reminding me of the "Simpsons" episode featuring the sublimal "Yvan eht Nioj"/"Join the Navy" music video; and (c) a single ridiculously huge and prominent logo inside Yankee Stadium during the movie's supposed-to-be-stirring climax. Jesus Christ, Hollywood, at least try to be more subtle with your shameless whoring.
(2) It was regarded as kind of a coup when the Rolling Stones allowed their original version of "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" (the best song they ever did, in my opinion) to be used in the pretty-decent Johnny Depp movie "Blow." Which makes it kind of sad that their "19th Nervous Breakdown" appears in all its glory--TWICE--within this horrible, horrible movie. Please, Mick-'n'-Keef, use a little more discretion in the future.
Back Row Grade: F-minus
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