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Gigli
(Reviewed August 4, 2003)
-
Okay, I realize I'm not known for being restrained and charitable, but somebody has to say it: Most of the critics who are panning this admittedly lousy movie are overdoing it. Yes, it sucks. Yes, the plot is
moronic, the characters are unbelievable, the ending is howlingly awful, and there is plenty to dislike all the way around. If not for the fact that the director wrote the script, you would think this was a case
of a director purposely sabotaging a screenplay that he knew was crap.
But is it the worst movie of the year? Not even close. As of August 4, 2003, that dishonor still goes to the abysmal "Uptown Girls." Even "American Wedding" is worse than "Gigli." Know
why? For all of its many, many, many faults, "Gigli" has one thing going for it that those movies don't: It has a single funny scene that keeps it from being a complete disaster.
That scene isn't the one where Jennifer Lopez invites Ben Affleck to go down on her by saying, "It's turkey time...gobble-gobble" (although that one certainly is memorable). And it certainly
isn't the groaningly dumb Lopez monolog about why the vagina is preferable to the penis.
It is the scene in which Affleck is preening in front of his bathroom mirror before joining Lopez in bed: flexing his muscles, comparing himself to a bull, and muttering about how he's going to
show her his "horn." It was so goofy and funny that it seemed ad-libbed, because it was so unlike the rest of the utterly witless script.
See, I can be nice. Oh, but it still gets an "F"--but not an "F-minus." So there.
Back Row Grade: F
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