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Just Married
(Reviewed January 9, 2003)
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On January 6, I saw the brain-hammeringly awful "A Guy Thing." On January 7, I saw the excruciatingly stupid "Kangaroo Jack." On January 8, I was supposed to attend a screening of "Just Married"...but I just could not bear the thought of seeing three surefire "F"-grade movies in a row. Go ahead, take away my license.
Look, just like any other guy, I think Brittany Murphy in one hot-and-nasty little minky. But the prospect of watching her slobber all over that complete tool Ashton Kutcher for 90 minutes filled my pants with dread. And when I heard that she does not grace the audience with any nudity whatsoever, I lost any possible reason for stepping into the theatre.
For all I know, "Just Married" may be the comedy sensation of the century...but for some snobby, elitist, "That '70s Show"-hating reason, I very much doubt it.
Back Row Grade: N/A
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