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Stuck on You
(January 4, 2004)
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This plodding, cheesy, ceaselessly unfunny comedy plays like some kind of horrible community service punishment that a moviemaker would be forced to produce after being found guilty of, say, raping a
deaf woman who has cerebral palsy. It couldn't be more "hire the handicapped" diversity-friendly and dull if it had been bankrolled by PBS.
Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon are conjoined twins who head to Hollywood so the Kinnear half can take a shot at stardom. Many dumb things happen, including scenes with Cher, if you need a
further reason to avert your eyes.
The movie reaches its nadir when one of the supporting actors who is, um, "differently abled" gives a thank-you speech to the filmmakers during the closing credits. The creeps this induces are
roughly equivalent to having a dead baby with leprosy shoved in your face by a toothless beggar woman on crutches.
Okay, I'll burn in hell for this review, but at least I've saved you a few bucks. And isn't that what matters most?
Back Row Grade: F
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