- "Teenagers need a lot more calories because they need more energy to run around stealing cars and burning down bulding or what ever it is that teenagers do."

- "Yeah! if my grandmother had weels, shed be a wangon."

- "would it hurt you if you don't do them? No it won't hurt me." (I think it was our test)

- Sara: What are they doing?
Paul: Moving the chalk board.
Sara: Why?
Paul: because it wouldn't move on it's own.

- "Real men wet their pamts. Yeah! real men wet their pants from the rear. (That was Lee, they were playing water fight with the pipet.)

- "I will personaly poisin anyone who tries to eat the food"

- "Vegan do this (spock sign from the first Star Trek) Live long and prosper"

- "I'm a vegitarian, I only eat animals that eat vegtable."

- "You ever hear of MADD? well there also DAM, Mothers Against Dyslexia"

- song: you stepped on my aorta, and you crushed that sucker flat.

- Paul: what's retrovirus? Hoku: A virus with an afro.

- "Scientiest have finally found out ways Ant Eaters never get sick. They have hundreds of little antye??? bodies in them."

- "3rd world countires are dumb, but their not that dumb." (Sara's idea to sell our urine to 3rd world countries because all the vitamins we take in come out in our urine.)

- "Teaxs is prastically a 3rd world country"

- Paul: The companies ass so much preservations to our food that we are no longer eating off our own hand.
Hoku:I don't want to eat my own hand.
Paul: You don't want to eat your own hand? Good Hoku, that's an improvment from yesterday.

- "My refrigorator died last night, so I get to watch all kinds of stuff grow."

- "Hey! there's a bunch of nuns coming, which if you think about it, it's an oxymoron."

- Paul:What is this?
Hoku:Cocaine
Paul:Yes it's cocaine, NO! it's suger. Autually I told my physics class that it was, but they wouldn't believe me, my car is too junk. If I owned this much cocaine I would have a much nicer car.

- "When the Russian drink Wadka they wamit"

- "I'll take you out in the parking lot and run you over"

- "Your prostate is waiting to kill you"

- "We're playing the Wait For the Fed X man game" (when asked what we were going to do on lab day)

- "I'd love to do that for you but the people from the Organization of Making High School Student's Lives a Living Hell will get on my case" when asked for answers to something (i think)

- "When you make drugs, make them outside" after explaining to us that you have to be VERY carful because they are very volitile and many a house has caught on fire by stupid people trying to make them themselves

- "There are three types of peole in the world; those who can count, and those who can't"

- "Helium, yes! I see Sara found the back of her book!" after he asked which element had only 2 protons

- "This H looks out and says 'I have 2 dots, I'm a happy camper!',then the other H looks out and says 'I have 2 dots, I'm a happy camper!' Now we have two happy campers." Explaining how Lewis's Structure fools hydrogen atoms into thinking they have two electrons

- "Did you hear the one about the Buddist who went to the hot dog vender? He said 'Make me one with everything'"

A joke
- "This guy goes to jail for the first time right? And he's sitting at the dinner hall eating and this other prisoner yells out '12!' and everyone starts laughing. So the new guy is like 'What?' Then this other guy yells out '15!' and everyone atarts laughing. So later on that night he asked one of the other guys what that was all about and the guy says 'Oh, it's just that we've been here so long that all we have to do is yell out a number and everyone remembers the joke and starts laughing' so he like 'okay'. So the next night they were all eating dinner andthe new guy yells out '14!' and no one laughs and he's like 'come on guys, 14! Why aren't you laughing?' and a guy in the back goes 'you didn't tell it right'" he was trying to teach Lee that you shouldn't laugh at jokes

Paul's:"Are we mixing special education and normal class here?" when Perry kept passing the paper to the wrong person time after time after time...

Paul: "What is this?" (he hold up a ball-and-stick model with 2 hydrogens and 1 oxygen, H2O
Class: "WATER!"
Paul: "HA! I fooled you! It's just a model!

On Paul's driving:
Seth: "Paul you almost ran us over this moring"
Paul: "Oh, were you that blue blur?"

-Paul arguing with Hoku.
Paul: "We all get our energy from the sun"
Hoku: "No we don't"
Paul: "Okay, how did you get your energy?"
Hoku: "From running"
Paul: "How did you get the energy to run?"
Hoku: "From food"
Paul: "What food"
Hoku: "A cow"
Paul: "Where does the cow get it's energy?"
Hoku: "From it's hormone shots"
Paul: "Oh, is that why your like that?" (meaning weird)

we talked about Paul on how old he is (he's only like 40 but he has grey hair): "I sat next to god in class" Paul played a trick on us saying that if this chemical touched us we would get scrotal cancer and die, then said this: "Half of you won't be able to get scrotal cancer, and then of course the girls can't get it."

Lee: "Paul, can we go over number 2 on the board?" Paul: "There's no number 2 on the borad." (it was on a paper he handed out)

Our teacher Mike: "It was before you were born, but do you remember?"

Talking to Paul while observing Chem class: "Have you ever thrown one of those things at your students? (the ball-and-stick models)'Wake up!' BOINK!"

Brad our other teacher quote:

Maria: "Brad can I go to the bathroom?"
Brad: "Yeah, and bring it right back when you're done with it"