Chinese Lessons

My attempts to review my first-year Mandarin Chinese lessons are not going very well. Every time I have sat down with my book in the past week, my mind has begun to wander. I find myself cleaning off the table, making myself a cup of tea, or simply staring off into space instead of studying. I am not sure why I am having such a hard time starting my lessons; is it because I already know all the characters in the first few chapters so I am bored by my book before I get anywhere challenging? Or does the problem run deeper? Perhaps I just don't feel a connection with Mandarin since I didn't grow up speaking it. Although I am technically Chinese, I never learned Mandarin as a child because my parents spoke a different Chinese dialect. Or perhaps I'm just being lazy....

Rather than studying Chinese, I find I have been doing all sorts of small projects lately like organizing my files, starting a scrapbook, assembling gift packages, and writing letters to friends. These are all tasks I have contemplated in the past but never got around to doing. I suppose this restlessness is a good thing, then; at least I am accomplishing SOMETHING. But I am frustrated that I can't seem to get started on the main task I set for myself this year.

Perhaps I will become more motivated to study Chinese once I have children. Passing on my cultural heritage is important to me, and has become more so as I have grown older. My husband understands this, and is supportive of my goals. However, he is not interested in studying Chinese himself. How will I be able to persuade my children to study Chinese if their father won't?

Perhaps it is not necessary to pass on my heritage in the form of language. Perhaps learning to cook Chinese dishes would be equally effective. Or perhaps just spending time with Grandpa and Grandma listening to their stories would serve as well. My husband and I will have to revisit this issue once we have children. For now, I think I'll just have some tea.