JOKES: What He Says<title> </head> <body bgcolor=white> <P> <table BORDER=5 CELLSPACING=10 CELLPADDING=10 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" > <tr> <td><a href="http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=3M7NCCQRZC&mscssid=MECTWDHNFP2P9MW80A6FQK8PF6MN9B41&sourceid=00001639103361994133&bfdate=05%2D19%2D2001+21%3A35%3A35&isbn=0738898929"><img src="//www.oocities.org/SoHo/9737/damsel.gif" ALT="[Adventure, time-travel, humor, amazons, mystery]" width=100 height=154><p> DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles</a> <P><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738898929/annlogan">Also at Amazon.com</a></td> <td><b>The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy. <p><a href="http://www.oocities.org/logan_a.geo/FICTION/sam-1.html">SAMPLE TEXT: </a> This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers. </b> <p><b><font color="#FFFFFF">_____</font></b> <br> </td> </tr> </table> <P> <blockquote> <P> <center> <h1>JOKES</h1></center> <P> <blockquote><h4> <br> <h2>WHAT HE SAID</h2> <P> "I'M GOING FISHING"<br> <b>Means:</b> "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."<br> <br> "IT'S A GUY THING"<br> <b> Means:</b> "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical". <br> <br> "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"<br> <b>Means: </b>"Why isn't it already on the table?" <br> <br> "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."<br> <b>Means:</b> Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. <br> <br> "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"<br> <b> Means: </b>"I have no idea how it works." <br> <br> "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".<br> <b> Means:</b> "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." <br> <br> "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."<br> <b> Means:<br> "Are you still talking?" <br> <br> "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."<br> <B> Means:</B> "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." <br> <br> "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".<br> <b>Means:</b> "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." <br> <br> "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."<br> <b> Means:</b> "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." <br> <br> "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".<br> <b>Means: </b>"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." <br> <br> "I CAN'T FIND IT."<br> <b>Means:</b> "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." <br> <br> "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"<br> <b>Means: </b>"What did you catch me at?" <br> <br> "I HEARD YOU."<br> <b>Means:</b> "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." <br> <br> "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."<br> <b> Means:</b> "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." <br> <br> "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."<br> <b>Means:</b> "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." <br> <br> "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."<br> <b> Means:</b> "No one will ever see us alive again." <br> <br> "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."<br> <b> Means: </b>"I make the messes, she cleans them up." <br> <table BORDER=5 CELLSPACING=10 CELLPADDING=10 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" > <tr> <td><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738898929/annlogan">DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Amazon.com</a><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738898929/annlogan"><img src="//www.oocities.org/SoHo/9737/damsel.gif" ALT="[Adventure, time-travel, humor, amazons, mystery]" width=100 height=154></a></td> <td><b>MY BOOK IS OUT!</b> <br><font color="#FFFFFF">_____</font> Picture the era of Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empires. Amazon warriors travel in secret. The world is a deadly, changing place. Now, meet Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Sci-fi, action adeventure packed with survival techniques, questions about history, rampant humor, mythological fancy, and fun. <p><a href="http://www.oocities.org/logan_a.geo/FICTION/sam-1.html">SAMPLE TEXT: </a> This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers. </b> <p><b><font color="#FFFFFF">_____</font></b> <br> </td> </tr> </table> <P> </h4> <h5><a href="http://www.oocities.org/Athens/8797/">HOME: __http://www.oocities.org/Athens/8797/</a></h5> </body> </html>