Original article written for Ming Pao, issue no. 14, November 30th, 1997. Transcribed and translated by Wolverine's HK Top Ten for the week of December 3, 1997.
See my Chow Yun-Fat: God of Actors site for more details of CYF's inescapable genius!
Chow Yun Fat and Chan Wui Nin has been married for 11 years without any turbulence. They can even be considered as film industry's classic model couple.
If you would like to maintain the happiness of a marriage, why not studying from Mrs. Chow's experience. Perhaps you might be able to learn a few tricks to maintain a peaceful relationship.
"In my heart, my husband Fat Jai can't be topped. He knows from Monday to Friday I work, so on the weekends he will definitely spend time alone with me, accompanying me to find my favorite food."
"I get up around 6 or 7. I like to handle my personal matter during a quiet time, then I go to the office. Fat Jai would also schedule his time to swim and walk, then he would call me, asking me what I want to eat, or coming to take me home."
"We both forgot to celebrate our 11th Anniversary, but whenever it's my birthday, Fat Jai would definitely send flower. He never gives diamond or expensive gifts, I don't need them either, if I want them I can buy them myself. Fat Jai is a very caring man. The little things he does have already moved me a lot."
"I remember last time when we lost our baby, Fat Jai was with me for 24 hours straight, consoling me. He knew fish cakes are one of my favorites, so he learned from my father. Whenever he sees the right kind of fish at the market he would buy it and cook fish cakes for me. Fat Jai is very good at winning people's hearts."
"Husband and wife can't have too many rules. If everything counts, the relationship will be destroy. Having too many requests toward the husband one will be disappointed when he doesn't deliver."
"Including when we dated, I have been with Fat Jai for 15 years. Only he could make my live colorful. We have shared a lot. Within this 11 years, I have never left Fat Jai, I haven't been back to Singapore for many years. No matter when my husband went, I was with him."
Chow Yun Fat headed to Hollywood to become an international star, and Mrs. Chow has always been his side, ensuring her husband's benefits. In front of the American producers, Mrs. Chow's attitude has been very strong.
She said, "I really pay attention on the contracts, everything should be clearly written, to avoid in fighting later. In the eyes of others, I might be very serious, very tense, but I hold on to the thought that I am only protecting my husband. If there is a mistake, how will I explain to my husband?"
"Relationships are relationships, contracts have to be clear. All of the principals, all of the agreements, I want them to be clear and concise. If principals aren't strong during contract signing, others will take advantage. In order to protect our own benefit, contracts are the best guarantees."
"There are plenty of minor details when handling film contracts. I faced plenty of invisible pressure, but I never complained to my husband. I would rather suffer alone than to have two people suffer. Unless I can't handle it, then I will ask my husband for opinions. My husband knows I work hard. Husbands are for a lifetime, everything I do has to be right for him."
How can Fat Gor not be moved by Mrs. Chow's selfless action? Seeing Mrs. Chow working so hard for him, Fat Gor's heart aches too. He constantly asks Mrs. Chow, "Your body isn't well, don't work so hard. I don't like it when you work so hard."
Mrs. Chow replies, "As long as you are in this business one day, I will be behind your always. On the day you retire, I will hand over my business to my little brother. Then we can comfortably enjoy being with each other."
Within their 11 year marriage, Mrs. Chow hasn't been able to bring a child into the world for Fat Gor. Mrs. Chow who really likes children has regrets in her perfect life. She has consulted with doctors, even thought about having a baby again. Mrs. Chow told her husband about her ideas, Fat Gor actually said, "Your body isn't well, don't think about the problem of having children, let's take care of yourself first. In the future when I don't make movies, then you can be a mommy. Your sense of duty is too strong, if you have to take care of me and the baby, I am afraid you will have a nervous breakdown. If you want me to choose between baby and wife, I would rather choose you first."
Fat Gor not only didn't add pressure on Mrs. Chow, but also added love, Mrs. Chow said, "I am a Christian, in the Bible there is a passage saying some handicapped children exist on Earth because some parents can selflessly take care of them. This is God's arrangement; My husband constantly remembers these few words, in the future if we can't have a child, we can adopt other people's children."
Having lost a child, Mrs. Chow's mind has gradually eased the pain. She too consoles herself, "Losing the baby is Heaven's arrangement, but, I am afraid that if I am pregnant again, there will be a negative effect."
Mrs. Chow knows she is a master of nervousness. She can very easy feel pressure. Her health situation is fair, which is related to her nervousness.
"Now whenever there is pressure, I will exercise, because I understand if I don't get rid of the pressure, too much pressure can easily make the sick cells within into cancer, so whenever I work too hard, I will drop everything."
Mrs. Chow's other pressure easing method is to shop at the market.
Fat Gor even made fun of her, "Luckily you like the Kowloon City market."
"There I have a lot of friends." Mrs. Chow said.
Fat Gor besides enjoying Mrs. Chow's devotion sometimes even joked, "You treat me so well, perhaps you owe me in the previous life and in this life you are here to repay me."
Mrs. Chow of course isn't afraid of repaying, she even repays voluntarily and even happily, as she humbly said, "Comparing to Fat Ma's love for her son, I still have a long way to go. Fat Ma cares for Fat Jai for 30, 40 years, I only took care of him for 11 years, my merits aren't as great as the love of his mother."
Fat Jai in December will be in America to promote Replacement Killer and return to Hong Kong in January. Because John Woo (Ng Yu Sum) is willing to delay his movie until May, Fat Jai will first perform in James Foley's Corruptor.
Recently Fat Jai and Mrs. Chow have been very low key. Actually they have been very charitable. Earlier the couple visited a temple opening, Fat Jai visited a home of the elderly and even chatted with many residents there. Later he handed a check over to Mrs. Lui Kwok Kwan to help make other's dreams come true.
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