The Stoned Age

In this failure, two dudes in the 70's are searching to get chicks. Of course, burnouts can relate to this, but I bet you that burnouts could write a better file.

Enter Joe and Hubbs. These guys have two main purposes: 1: drinking years old Peppermint Schnapps and tall cans; 2: Managing a half eaten burrito cemetery in the back of their car. Crusing down the highway, these dudes find a guy names Tack, who has far too much curly hair. After hocking a drive-by-loogie, Joe & Hubbs back up their car and find out from Tack that there's going to be a party. The three tea, up to get gas from Crump, whose bro is a vicious punk. The dudes find out from Crump that there is indeed a party, across the street from Frankie Avalon's place. Joe & Hubbs take off, sans Tack, get punched when he tries to jump into the car. NIGHTMARE FUEL!!!: When Tack gets punched, feathers fly off his head. I was scarred for life 'cuz of feathers.

Anyway, the two dudes get distracted when they see a hot girl in a window. They rush over to find she's a hot chuck named Jill, who lives with a quiet girl, Lanie. Tack rejoins the group, and they all head to the party. Guess what? Joe, Hubbs, and Tack aren't allowed in, because everyone fears they'll get drunk and mess up the joint. Not accepting defeat they sneak around the back to find more of their buds! Because everybody has a horrible time, Joe, Hubbs, and the two girls sneak back to their house. As you can predict, romantic tensions start building at the house. However, on the way back to the girl's house, they were followed by an angry mob of rejected partygoers, led by the feminine Tack.

Being trapped in the house, they all fear they'll get busted when Lannie says her dad will be home soon. However, they have more to worry about when Crump's psycho brother finds the house, which he thinks is the party house. He tries to break in, only to be whupped by Lanie's dad! Look out! He traps Joe in the house, but Hubbs makes his escape. Joe's excuse about saving fails, because Dad calls the police. Who comes to save Joe? It's Hubbs! They escape from Dad, the other dudes are arrested and Joe and Hubbs plan to do it all again next year.

Bottom line: Belive me, there are so many other better films you can see then this. The Stoned Age is not without it's laughs, 'cuz there is a funny scene when Joe opens the door to puke, but the party-goers chuck a lot of beer cans at him. However, this scene does not make up for the rest of the movie's pain. The only good thing about this film is how Joe and Hubbs seem like real losers. However, the real burnout isn't Joe or Hubbs, but The Stoned Age, a low budgeted, horriable 70's mess.

-Joe Momma

Rating: 3 out of 5 cheesi.