"The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller. Big Book of Business', illustrated by Scott Adams" - Dogbert in 'Building a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies: Dogbert's 1991

"Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together." - Eastman, Max

"They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus. Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Jefferys, William H.

"It is better to laugh about your problems than to cry about them." - Jewish Proverb

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." - MacLaine, Shirley

"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out." - Unknown 6-Year Old

"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?" - Unknown 15-Year Old

"It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there." - Unknown 5-Year Old

"Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number." - Unknown 15-Year Old

"Shift that fat ass, Harry. But slowly, or you'll swamp the damned boat." - Washington, George to General Henry 'Ox' Knox while entering the boat that was to cross the Delaware