"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman." - Woody Allen

"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." - Woody Allen

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." - Dave Barry

"Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him." - Cher

"Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd. Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd." - Congreve, The Mourning Bride

"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are." - Chauncey Depew

"The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history." - George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

"When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man?" - Edith Evans, quoted in The Observer

"A woman can look both moral and exciting - if she also looks as if it were quite a struggle." - Edna Ferber

"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends." - Benjamin Franklin

"The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'" - Sigmund Freud, quoted in Ernest Jones' Sigmund Freud: Life and Work

"All women are bitches except my mother - not trusting her but respecting her." - Nizar Gabani

"A woman's whole life is a history of the affections." - Washington Irving

"You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." - Erica Jong

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not." - Henry Louis Mencken

"Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her." - Helen Rowland

"Do you now know that I am a woman? when I think, I must speak." - William Shakespeare

"Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress." - Martin, Steve

"In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman." - NANCY ASTOR, My Two Countries

"There is more difference within the sexes than between them." - IVY COMPTON-BURNETT, Mother and Son

"I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made `em to match the men." - GEORGE ELIOT, Adam Bede

"I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out." - GEORGE ELIOT, The Mill on the Floss

"The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another." - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE, Beyond Good and Evil

"I can't live either without you or with you." - OVID, Amores

"Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun. . .
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?"
- DOROTHY PARKER, General Review of the Sex Situation

"Men, some to bus'ness, some to pleasure take;
But ev'ry woman is at heart a rake."
- ALEXANDER POPE, Moral Essays

"In our civilization, men are afraid that they will not be men enough and women are afraid that they might be considered only women." - THEODORE REIK, quoted in Esquire

"Now, we are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - GLORIA STEINEM, speech (1981)

"'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel." - WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY, Henry Esmond

"In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." - MARGARET THATCHER, quoted in People

"That . . . man . . . says women can't have as much rights as men, `cause Christ wasn't a woman. . . Where did your Christ come from? . . . From God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him." - SOJOURNER TRUTH, speech (1851)

"LORD ILLINGWORTH: The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden.
MRS. ALLONBY: It ends with Revelations."
- OSCAR WILDE, A Woman of No Importance

"Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size." - VIRGINIA WOOLF, A Room of One's Own