Ostara 1999 Newsletter You might be a Pagan if...

• Whan asked if you believe in God, you aks, "which one?"
• You have an entire spice cabinet and you dont cook. You know that Laurel and Bay leaves are the same thing.
• You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You've caused them.
• The first thing your guests say is, "My, that's a nice altar"
• On Halloween, you yell "Happy new year" as passers by.
• You know that Christmas trees were originally Pagan symbols. That's why you bought one.
• You commit blasphemy in the plural.
• Upon dying, your first thought is, "Darn, not again"
• When you say 'Mother nature' you don't mean it in an anthropomorphic way.
• You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text. You use is as such.
• In Religion 101, you were disappointed because they didn't cover your gods.
• You talk to trees. They talk back.
• Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun.
• You've seen "The Craft". You know they were making stuff up in "The Craft". You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did it in "The Craft". You know it's a load of crap.
• You understand the symbolism of the maypole.
• You've ever ended a phone call with "so mote it be".
• Your children go around telling people that "the Goddess loves you".
• You're reading this, you understand what it is talking about, and you have more to add.

(This was sent to me by my mum and it has been doing the rounds on a number of email lists - ed.)