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Before I get started, lets handle a couple of things. First, thank you for reading my column. I had several folks who told me that they read the column, and it made me fell like a million bucks.
Second, Please, please, please get your registration in for the Great War in August (Pennsic). I know that most of you don't feel like you have to support the house at Pennsic. Please, please reconsider. The war is easier than you probably think. Pre-registration is easier than you think. If you had fun at Gulf Wars, then realize that Pennsic is about a thousand times better. I had never met a Bardic Laurel until I went to Pennsic. Whatever you do in the SCA, there is somebody else who does it. And they will be at Pennsic. Somebody once told me that "Nobody can afford Pennsic, but if you are a man, you just go, and deal with the consequences." It's worth it. Let me take a second to remind you that if you are not pre-reserved, you will probably not be able to camp in the Omega Camp at the great war. We are going to the bog, and we will not have a beautiful, dynamic Peer to get in the face of anybody who opposes us. Bog land is difficult to get, and we will have to fight for every inch. I have thank you's. Thanks to everybody who gave me bedding, tent space, food, armor, garb and all the other stuff that makes living at the war possible. Thanks to Alexander and Zanna for the garb. Thanks to Lachlan, Siggi, Arlaine, Alexander, Roland, and all the others who helped with armor. Thanks to Alan of the Brightlands for garb, armor, food and essential advice. For those of you who might be unsure, his name is Alan, not "Grampa". He doesn't have a problem with the name "Grampa" but to me it sounds disrespectful. Thanks to everybody who made my brother, Benjamin the Unnamed, welcome. It was his first event, and he had a ball, thanks to ya'll. Thanks to Neshoba, who went through camp making sure all the trenches in camp were filled in at the end of the war. Let me say thank you to Siggi again, who volunteered to be the "Legion Gopher" while we were on the fighting field. Thanks to 'Zanna, both for running the web page that makes this column possible, and for being "Camp Momma" at Gulf Wars. Thanks again to everybody who came out and supported me at the Inter-kingdom bardic competition. Thanks to everybody I have forgotten. One last thought. Ek, the master of the Rheingoths, says "it's not going home when you leave Pennsic, it's just a fifty week money run"
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Chapter 1 |
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I arrived in Mississippi on the 11th of March, after a hideous trip, punctuated by a two-day stay in the lovely Schirpol Airport outside of Amsterdam ("Just three hours, Sir."). I have been very happy with Schirpol in the past, but this was awful. My brother Benjamin the Unnamed Met me at the Airport, and took me to his home near the site.
The morning of the 12th dawned ugly. The Weather Channel said that there was a very good chance of Thunderstorms, and a band of storms was passing through the area. Sure enough, the area had a Tornado that morning. My brother and I had to drive through the damage path. It was very dramatic. My brother and I, hesitant to try to event in the rain, loitered at Wal-Mart, where I bought him a small tent. He had planned to borrow a seven-man tent, but due to some sort of government shutdown, had forgotten to do it. I had wanted him to have some privacy at his first war. It was a good thing I did. My war gear was in the possession of Her Excellency Baroness Rixa Eriksdottir, A squire of Duke Sir Kane Redfeather, and our house sister. The Gear had gone home with her after Pennsic last year, as I could not get it on the plane, tent, cooler, bedding, garb, chairs and all. I had planned to put the stuff in my brother's barn after gulf wars, where it would be available for Pennsic next year. Baroness Rixa was not on site as I pulled up, surprising, but not really concerning me. I set up Benjamin's tent and went to say hello to friends I had missed sorely. HE Rixa is one of my closest friends in the society, and I was missing her terribly. I spent the evening on the couch in "Bede Hall". Bede Hall was the "feast hall type thingie" down by the pool. I found out later that Benjamin had left site early in the evening, thus allowing me to camp in his 8 X 8 dome tent. In the morning I went back to camp to see if HE Rixa had arrived, sure that she had arrived on site late at night, and moderately sure that she had slept in the cab of her truck. Rixa was not in camp. I was sure that she had not intentionally missed a day of war, and began to become concerned. After Breakfast I went to Odyssey Coffee, and I need to say good things about those gentles. They have become my home away form home, and are open at almost all hours. They, upon hearing about my tent, offered me the privilege of staying in their tent. They did, however let me know that just sitting around the house in my pajamas (i.e. naked as a jaybird) would probably be out of the question. Thus denied, I decided to find digs more suitable to my personal habits. I found out that HE Rixa had left a message with site asking us to please contact her. My cell phone is no good in the US, though its good everywhere else on the planet. I had a chat with Baron Larcomb, and he allowed me to use his phone to call HE Rixa's daughter, Toni. Thanks Larcomb. Toni informed me that though they had fixed the primary problem with the truck, there was still something wrong with the machine, and they were working as hard as they could to fix the problem. HE Rixa would probably be arriving later in the week. I thanked HE Larcomb, Borrowed a sleeping bag and headed back to the camp. Along the way, I stopped at Drago's massive merchant tent, and he loaned me a pillow, and gave me some Sambuko. Thanks Drago. When I arrived at camp, I borrowed two mexican blankets from the lovely Zhara, and another blanket from Baron Stephan of Durham. Thanks Zhara. Thanks Stephan. Tuesday I spent a wonderful few hours with a lady named Minx. She and I napped in the shade under a tree at the end of merchant's row, and signed up for a security shift together. She is a member of a Rosaki associated household, and has lovely purple hair. I believe that it was purple, I am color blind. It was a honor to be associated with her. Tuesday night I spent in relative comfort in My brother's tent. |
Chapter 2 |
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Wednesday dawned bright and far too early. I spent several hours resting, relaxing and trying to bum some armor for the fighting. The battle that day was the single sword ravine battle, which is good fighting. I however, had to miss the battle because my armor had not yet shown up.
I felt like I had nothing to do, except watch the fighting. I had forgotten the security shift I had signed up for with The lady Minx, until she pulled up in a golf cart. I consoled myself by going off to the royal Condo to have a shower. Her Majesty had posted a sign on the door stating that she was not the maid, and thus expected us all to clean up after ourselves. While I loitered in the presence of the peerage (never a good idea) I was tapped to shuck oysters for the dinner for the royalty. I protested that I had the Inter Kingdom Bardic competition that night (by now about three hours away) and might hurt my hands. This did not help me to escape. I followed this argument with the statement that I was allergic to oysters, but every body there had seen me eat oysters at Pennsic, or had read about it on the web page, so I was trapped. I have not yet learned the essential ninja skill of avoiding work. Once I actually started shucking the oysters, I enjoyed myself immensely, Sir K'aus, Omega Legionnaire Elsbeth and several other gentles shucked and shucked for what seemed like hours. The oysters did not, at any time, appear to want to be eaten. We were hampered greatly by the lack of official oyster shuckers. We decided that the screwdrivers and butterknives we had would do the job. The proper tool for the job however, would have been to employ a waitress from Bangor Maine. Since no actual waitress appeared, we had to make due. After the actual shucking, it was time to get ready for the bardic competition. I performed a hasty wash in the sink of Bede Hall, and hustled back to camp to get Daphne, my guitar. When I arrived at camp, I announced that our beautiful queen was sitting by herself in the kitchen, stirring soup, while ladies from OTHER HOUSEHOLDS helped her. This seemed to hit the WRONG chord with the Legion Ladies, as several of them hustled out of camp to go help. I grabbed my guitar and got fast away. I went by HE Larcomb's booth, where I once again used his phone to check on HE Rixa. It was beginning to look Rixa was not going to make it to the war. I had gotten very lucky in my competition prep. In 1609 a man named Thomas Ravenscroft, published a book called "freeman's book of songs for 3 voices". This book contained a song called "Wee be Souildiers 3", which I already knew. I had managed to find a copy of ravenscroft's works on line, and had printed out copies of the original block type pages. Thus, I was able to do, with documentation, an "original song" from "My upcoming book" published in 1609. Neat trick, if you can manage it. I was accompanied to the cometeion by a group of legion well wishers, as well as Legionnaire Mad Alex, who herself competed nobly. The Meridian Kingdom Bard also went, but decided at the last minute not to compete agains legionaires. To abbreviate the story, I played Wee Be souldiers 3 in the first round, Mattie Groves in the second round (with my brother bells) and made the finals. In the finals, I encountered something I had never seen before. I got a bi for the final round, and jumped for joy, making "Woo-Hoo!" sounds. I heard them saying something about my bi, but I was on an emotional jag at that point, and wasn't listening. What I had gotten was a "Destructive Bi", which means that I was taking a chance of getting knocked out of the competition. I missed this point, and used the time to 1) Toast the Queen, and 2) play Bastard Children of Meridies, and I neglected to tell the judges that the song was an original piece. I wanted to save "Maid in Bedlam" for the final round (where there would be no bi). Needless to say, I didn't get to perform "Maid in Bedlam". I was knocked out of the competition by a bye. Boy, did that chap my ass. However, in retrospect, I do feel that it was good to be competing at this level, and it was gratifying to be knocked out by a strategic error, rather than a performance error. I also feel good about knocking Peers out of the running. Some Laurels are not excellent bards. I retired on Wednesday night worn and weary, and mightily disappointed.
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Chapter 3 |
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