- The Driven Machine -
Bleeding
I started to bleed yesterday.
It's not a lot - you can barely tell, but it's something that
they're going to notice eventually, and then - well, nobody really knows. All
those who've bled before aren't allowed to talk about what happened to them
after they entered the Driver's Construct. And they fear the Driver enough to
follow that rule. I would too.
I'm getting ahead of myself, I should probably explain more. Okay,
here goes. My name is Suil, and if the Driver or any of his men ever found
this little record, then I'd be dead. But I'm going to be dead because of
something sooner or later, so I might as well do something I think is
worthwhile. After all, nobody survives for long in the employ of the Driver.
Back to what I was saying - I started to bleed the other day, which
could only mean one thing. We were nearing another world, and soon the Driver
would whip us into a frenzy getting his machine exactly the way he wanted it.
All the bleeders would be rounded up, and we wouldn't see them again until
the Driver had got what he wanted from the world and moved on.
I didn't like the fact that I was one of those bleeders this time.
Of course, it wasn't as though I could do anything about it. So I did what
all the bleeders have done in the past - I went to see the doctor.
Doctor Ow's been a friend of mine for a long time. I suppose he's
a friend of all the workers here. With all the people that get injured by the
Machine, anyone he gets the time to save is always grateful. He's saved me more
than once. That damned machine, I've worked it for as long as I can remember,
and I still don't know how it runs, or how the Driver controls it. All I know is, I haven't had a moment's peace since it was started up a week ago. It's
the most frightening thing, too - I've never been used to it. It takes up a
whole block in our habitat - this ugly, grey machine towering above us all.
Once it's fired up, nobody can even sleep - the noise is too much. No matter
how far away from it you go, you hear it. You even hear the scratching and
tearing of the machine when you close your ears. It's hard to breathe - the
thing ejects some kind of dark gas that makes it even hard to think. But
the Driver tells us to make it run, so we do. It needs constant looking after,
because even though it's just a pile of metal and Power, it's got an evil
spirit. Doc Ow tells me that the machine existed before the Driver, and is
even more powerful than Driver's kind. We're used to control it. I'm not sure
how that works, since even the weakest of Driver's men can kill us with little
more than a gesture of their weapons. But I believe Doc - he's the smartest
one of us. Otherwise he wouldn't be the doctor.
He's perceptive too. I walked into the infirmary with all the other
patients, some of them looking pretty bad, and he spotted me. He motioned me
back to his office, and I followed. Felt pretty bad about it, too - I mean, he
ignored all those other people. Even the ones who were bleeding - no, bleeding the other way, they were hurt. Not like me.
"How long have you shown color like this?" Doc asked. He's always
so darn technical. So I told him - just the other day. He could tell?
"Of course I can tell. You're lucky you weren't picked up by one
of the guards on the way here!" The doctor went over to his cabinet - to look
for some pills, I would guess. I never know why he does anything. Then he
looked back at me. "There's something I can do for you Suil, but I need to
tell you a few things first. It's about the bleeders. Look close at me, and
you'll see.
I could see what doc wanted me to without having to look closer. He
was bleeding too - or 'showing color', as he liked to put it. I could see just
a little hue to his skin, a hint of green in his eyes. Of course, the majority
of him was grey just like all the normal non-bleeders, but the color was
starting to show. Every time we "bled", we began to see and show in color.
We're grey, and we can only see grey - I don't know if the Driver's men know
that. They can see color, so they can tell if we're showing or not. We can't
tell unless it's happening to us. I usually figure it out - the bleeders end up
vanishing about a week or so after the machine starts up. I never thought I'd
be one of them.
Satisfied that I'd seen what he wanted me to, he opened the door to
one of the operating theaters. "I only need one of these, since I'm the only
doctor. You're going to be staying in this here."
What was he talking about? I asked him as much - did he expect me
to try to run from the Driver? It made me feel sick to even contemplate
something like that.
The Doctor turned back to me. "Yes, I do expect you to do that.
Suil, listen to me. It's only a matter of time until he kills you anyway. Him
or one of his men, or that machine. I can save you from that machine, I've
done it before, but I don't even know how the weapons of his men work. You're
going to be safe from the men. You see," Ow smiled, "every time that we've
neared another world - every single time - I've bled. The Driver doesn't even
bother with me anymore. He's convinced I'm one of those rare souls that has
a host in every world. That's why we bleed, you know - there's someone like you
in that world we're heading toward. There's someone like me, too. Except
this time, instead of using you to get what he wants, I'm going to use you to
make sure he doesn't get it."
If what I just wrote makes little sense, I assure you that I was at
least twice as confused. I asked the doctor to explain it again - I didn't
really understand, at least not then, what it was that the Driver wanted. So
the doctor, patient man that he is, sat me down and told me once more.
"Okay, here goes. The Driver uses that machine of his to bring us
close to other worlds. He does this so he can take things from them. I don't
know what it is he wants, only he has to use us to control the machine. In some
of these worlds, there is a person who is like you. When we get close to those
worlds, some of it starts to bleed through to here. Those who are like the
people of the other worlds - those who have 'hosts', as I like to say, start
to show color. The Driver singles these people out, because he can use them
to get what he wants from the other worlds."
I didn't like the sound of this. And I was one of these people!
I had a 'host' in the other world, wherever it was we were heading toward.
I knew the good doctor wanted to keep me safe, but the Driver would find him,
and me, and we would die. But I'd said it before: I'm going to die anyway.
I might as well do something worthwhile.
So the doctor put me up in the unused operating room. He even
encouraged me to keep a journal of what was happening to me. That's this.
I'm bleeing worse now - I look down at myself and I'm almost all color. So is
doc, but - true to his word - none of the Driver's men have come in. I'm very,
very disturbed at this. Doctor Ow said that the Driver would use me to get
to the other world. But the doc said that he was going to use me himself to stop the Driver. I don't like it. I'm shivering - it's cold, and I'm very
nervous. Ow said that soon I might see glimpses of the other world.
I wonder who my host is.
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