Rambles 2

I've screamed for help before
  and it helped.
But not till later.
  much, much later.
I don't know if I have the time
  to wait any more.
And I don't think there is
  a quick solution
  (don't want one)
The world works for me and
  against me.
Should I be happy with what I have?
  or yearn for more?
Do I deserve more?
  and how would that affect what I have?
Or am I fooling myself by believing
  that I have any say in the matter
Maybe I'm losing touch.
  I don't care any more
About a lot of things.
  People.  Work.  Life.
I feel like an array of nulls.
  Pointing nowhere.
Relying on my own momentum
  the inertia of the moment
Carrying me along the path of
  least resistance.
Numbers.  Formulas.  Predicitons.
  Forced, lying non-laughter.
An approximation of reality
  that I believe exists
Somewhere, outside of myself.

-TCS