I know that I have certain ways of thinking that are not healthy, and I am trying to learn better. However, until I do, there are certain expressions that I would like to make. They aren't exactly poems, so if you search for those, I suggest going back. These are here more for my benefit than yours, so I can see when I make progress, but you may read them if you like.

HAPPY
I am happy
Can’t tears be healthy too?
But I’m afraid of uncontrolled release
I am undeserving of such freedom,
And I don’t want to be crazy
Guilt keeps me alone,
Or else my uncontrollable crying must stay quiet and inside
I’m sick of the pain
I’m singing in isolation to express without the truth
Me bleeding before God is better for everyone
But I should be happy

ESTEEM
Compliments hurt because they remind me that it’s not true
Always more mistakes, but they say I’m still not even human
So what right have I got, not being perfect
I can’t blame it on my being, just my doing, doing wrong
I hate that I can hate, but I cannot put up with myself
I can’t just die because that would hurt people, the poor fools who still don’t know me
Who think I can do good without harming someone, something
I try to make it me who gets hurts, instead of others,
But the scars impair my efforts to help later
Maybe that’s better

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