Testimony of My Salvation!

About Me .......

Hummm ..... Where does someone start something like this ??

I think I'll start with where I am from and who belongs to this wonderful family that the Lord has given me. We all live in a small town in North Eastern Massachusetts. There are four of us that share our home; - My best friend, partner in life, and husband Darrin. He is a wonderful father and friend to us all, he works as a Network Applications Manager at a Semiconductor Equipment manufacturing facility in the Boston area.

My son Derek is 16 yrs old and is a joy and blessing to all who know him. Like all mom's I am extremely proud of him.

- Then there's my daughter Taylor who is 5 yrs old . She loves to dance and to learn about Jesus.

- Then of course there's Me ... What would you like to know ? I LOVE to chat on the net and would like to say Hi to all of you out there ! Hi ! ... I like to read and I love spending time with my family. There's a lot about my past that isn't all that wonderful. I know today that we all have different backgrounds, some more difficult than others. Today I accept my past for what it was and know that it makes me who and what I am. God has blessed me many times over the last several years of my life.

The first major event that that made me search for the truth in this life was my addiction to drugs & alcohol. After living in the grip and insanity of my illness for many years ( age 13 - 24 ), I was lead by Gods grace to Alcoholics Anonymous. It was there that I learned to give my life & will over to God. Also I began to believe that my Father in Heaven loved me and would guide and care for me as long as I allow Him to do so. That's the tricky part, I am a Control Freak !! Really really bad ..... It's so hard to let go and let God. To have faith that he is there and will take care of ALL my needs. Most of the time I believe... Lot's of times, I walk blindly and cannot see His Wonders until after He has performed them. I am gathering faith as I go.

There was a time last spring ( May 97 ) that I bottomed out spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I almost chose to again drink & use drugs. Instead, I cried out o God from way down inside my heart and soul. I was so desperate that night... Didn't know where to turn... I thought God had left me.. I know now that He did not ! ... He was merely waiting for my cry, because He answered me in a most miraculous way ! ... He sat me down & momentarily calmed my mind. The computer was in front of me, ... so I turned it on, and got onto an IRC server. Then I went into the channels folder and typed one word ........ "GOD". There was only one room speaking of God that evening, and it was a private, hidden room ( not supposed to show on a listing ). Yet, there was the title on my screen... I hit enter and joined the room. My entire body was shaking as I typed the small word " Hi "... I didn't even "see" at this time that God had answered my cry. I was too angry, hurt, and lonely to see anything beyond the words coming back at me on the screen. I had no idea why I was even on the computer, I wanted to be alone, so I could do as I was contemplating...drink.

I remember this night though... that I met the most wonderful women, they asked how I was, and I honestly told them. Now why would I tell a bunch of strangers that life was not worth living.. ? Normally I never would have, but found myself doing so. As these women told me that God loved me & that he had lead me there, I was filled with both joy & fear. Knowing fear the best, I left the room and went to more familiar places to continue to chat. God had not finished giving me the message He wanted me to hear, so I kept getting "pulled" back to the room with the kind hearted women talking about God.

Although a regular in that room today , I had no clue who they were at the time. I do remember three women in particular from that first visit; BWindy, JToader, & YG. BWindy was the most persistent in speaking to me about God, Jesus, and Love... I began to hear her... I left the room that night, still very lost & confused, but, I didn't drink or do any drugs & I hadn't died. So the next night ... where do think I went ? Haha ... Back to the kind hearted women that talked of God, of course !... It was BWindy that took the risk of scaring me out of there, by bringing up the Truth of my Salvation through Grace. It was she who presented to me that I must be Born Again, in order to live with God forever.

Though most people that will come to my little world here on the net, will understand those words, some of you may not. I will try to explain them as best I can at this time, I am still a new Christian, I know that I needed to believe several things. .That I'm a sinner & that's O.K., that God created me as I am and gave me free will to make choices, and that I had a choice to make. To continue on the path I was on, which was of darkness, or to accept a most wonderful Gift ,that God had sent His only Son to die on a cross for all my sins, past, present, and future. That Jesus was a gift, and that through Him I would be forgiven. All I need to do was admit my sin and ask the Lord Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior. Reluctantly at first,... I thought to myself,... yes, I wanted Gods path. I wanted Salvation, I wanted Love, I wanted Forgiveness. I was thankful for Jesus, for his life and death, I wanted Jesus to save me. BWindy helped me to pray to God through his Son Jesus, a sinners prayer one night and at that moment I was Saved !!..... Praise the Lord !.... This was the message God wanted me to hear and act upon. I am Saved .... I am a Child of God !! .... A child of a King! The only King ! The King of Kings ! - Celebrate !

I cannot quote Bible verses yet, I can however link you to those who can possibly explain things more clearly, Refer to my "Friendly links" page.

All I really have left to say about myself, is that I will be forever greatful to ALL the women who played a part in leading me to God, my Light and Truth. They have held my hand and continue to teach me of our Lord. They tell me to read my Bible, go to Church, and Pray. When I am down they raise me up to God through their prayers. When I am happy, they share my joy with the love of God always present in their hearts. I Love my Sisters in Christ. I Love God. He is so wonderful. He has called me to Him, so I will follow His path. I just can't wait to one day give Him a giant bear hug when He calls me Home to live with Him forever.... !