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Making Conversation

This is a speech I prepared for an ATM project. It describes some steps for making conversation at a party. You may use it as is, but I believe it will prove more useful as an idea generator.

If you like this work, please let me know -- like all creative souls, I really appreciate knowing someone was able to use my effort. You can also e-mail me an idea or two of your own. I'll add it to my page and give you proper credit.

Making Conversation

Introduction

There you are. You went to a party at the invitation of a friend and now you are faced with a roomful of people you’ve never met. Your palms begin to sweat as you move around the room and try to introduce yourself to them. You suddenly feel ill and want to just leave the party.

Has this happened to you? Of course it has – it’s a common problem for everyone. What can you do when you are faced with introducing yourself to a stranger? In this speech, I’ll share with you tips you can use to Make Conversation.

Levels of Conversation

Conversations proceed through four levels:

Small talk – talk about the weather, the city, your car, or anything of no consequence.

Exchanging Facts – tell about where you are from, your hobbies, or other facts.

Opinions – begin to share opinions on certain issues.

Feelings – express your feelings on some issue or problem.

Not all conversations need to proceed through all levels. Some may only get to the small talk level. That's OK.

Conversation Tips

Use open-ended questions.

Listen actively – don’t just wait for an opening in order to speak your mind. Remember, if you only speak your mind it limits the conversation.

The best topic for discussion is the other person – we all like to talk about ourselves. Lisa Kirk said, "A gossip is someone who talks about other people, a bore is someone who talks about himself, a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks about me."

Role Playing Exercise

Before the meeting, select someone (ideally, someone new to the club) to help in role playing. Assume the role of meeting this person at a party (or "club meeting") for the first time, then introduce yourself and start a conversation. Allow the role to play out for about three to five minutes.

After you’ve completed the role playing, discuss the scenario with your audience. What went well, what could have improved?

Conclusion

Henry Taylor wrote, "No syren did ever so charm the ear of the listener, as the listening ear has charmed the soul of the syren." Learn the art of making conversation and you will begin to charm people’s souls.

This Document Last Modified on April 29, 1998.

George R. Self
E-mail me at: grself@c2i2.com

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