June 20, 1999

Thus we begin...

I meant to start this thing back in April... shows you how much extra time I've had. Ha! I do promise, though, to be good about updates, now that I've got this all up and running.

Anyway, it occurs to me that you probably don't know a thing about me, and I'm not about to ramble on and on with background info, so I guess you'll just learn as we go.

Today is Father's Day. This is the single most difficult holiday for me, now more than ever. I grew up without a father, essentially. My parents split when I was 6 and my dad made little effort to keep abreast of what was going on in my life. He rarely called or came by. Seems he has a keen sense for timing, though. Just when I think I've let go and can move on he decides to drop back into the picture. Usually that's by calling my mom and asking about me-- which is ridiculous because my phone number is in the phonebook for chrissakes. Apparently he'd rather test the waters with her first, or something. At least I'm not taking it all too terribly personally anymore, seeing as he's done the same thing to my older half-brother, Rick. The story goes that they were living in California when my dad decided to tell Rick's mom he had a brain tumor and wanted a divorce so he could go home to be with his family and not "burden" her. Sounds like a soap opera, hey? Anyway, a few years later, when Rick was old enough to start asking questions about his dad, his mom did a little research and called my grandma. Imagine her surprise to find out my dad was alive and well and remarried with a daughter! Imagine my mom and my surprise to find out he had an ex-wife and a son!

Anyway, that was pretty much the beginning of the end for my parents. My mom realized that if he was hiding something like that, he'd hide other things, too. There were other problems, too, but that was the biggie. Go figure, right?

The role of father in my life naturally defaulted to my maternal grandfather. Because my mother was a single parent, my grandparents helped a lot with raising me. I spent more time at their house than with my mom, which was okay by me. My grandma worked for Gimble's Department Store and used to bring home makeup samples for me to play with and my grandpa was a baker who'd bring me treats. They also spoiled me rotten, like any good grandparents would. They were younger when they had my mom, thus younger when my mom had me, so Pa would still play hide and seek with me, take me on adventures, and just generally spend time with me.

Pa passed away in January and it's still hard to believe that he's gone. He'd been sick for many years, and we knew it was coming, but you're never really prepared.

Luckily, I've managed to find myself a wonderfully supportive husband. I'm not sure what I'd do without him.

More tomorrow... I'm applying for a new job that I can't wait to tell you about.

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