Calvin, my soul brother, uncle to my children and Gaurdian of my daughter Jacqueline. He's the Witch that I met through a BBS message net, our souls reaching out to each other over 1500 miles to connect again in this lifetime.
He is a Seer and a Healer who gives of himself unselfishly and with love.
He's also a marvelous writer.
But he lives in Alabama, where those
of the Craft are either well hidden or so caught up in the 'power' of being
'pagan' that they are corrupt and Dark. He's alone and going through hard
times right now. He's having a hard time keeping his faith not only in
the Gods but also in himself. He recently wrote to me after being silent
for over two months and what he wrote tore my heart out. He also included
a poem that I want to share with you.
I can see them now,
In spite of the rage.
I can hear their presence.
Is this insanity?
Calvin swung about with a terrible cry. "Why are you doing this to me?" His mind swirled as he tried to find some foundation.
This duality of my soul.
My opposing possitions.
This internal conflict between,
The man with none,
And the man with.
"We have always been." The voice whispers. "You've known us since birth." And Calvin calms; even, perhaps, smiles.
The sweet song that calls me.
To my life:
To my death.
They beckon me.
To love again...
To look into eyes and see dreams.
And not desolation.
To feel compassion,
To be warm,
To be a friend,
To be alive.
So long I have shut myself in.
Blocking it from the world and myself.
Fearful of releasing.
Terrified of being loved.
Wanting only to get away,
Desecrate and maim.
To find some release from the inflicted wound.
I wanted revenge.
The dream I held most sacred,
The thing I most desired,
Taken down in a blinding blow.
To have that dream destroyed,
And the years of isolation to follow.
I have lost my mind.
Calvin grew enraged again. Cursing and shaking his fist, he spat at the Gods. "You created this! You allowed this!" And the voices left.
Death,
A death but by another name.
I died that day.
The years melted away with a river flowing blood.
Tears no more to touch my cheek.
But the vampires fangs entrenched in my flesh.
I died that day.
For a time I laid down to rest.
I did not release.
Kept the rage in me.
And drew farther and farther from the shore.
I saw the ocean tonight.
So long this Great God from sight.
In quiet desperation I once sought her,
She eluded visions.
To the one who calls me on.
And the old merchants song.
Calvin fell to the ground in quiet fright. Shaking and crying, Calvin lost control. Fear and resentment keeping him from the past. Apathy and apprehension keeping him from the future. Calvin, calvin no more. But a smile returns. The one he loved most. The essence of life and prosperity born of a lizard. Calvin looks to the grassy plain, and to the brilliant mountains beyond.
Can I love her again?
After all this time?
Do I still recall her magick?
Forget the death,
And see the wonder.
For death is not eternal...
I can feel her eternal in me.
I could...
I've been there before,
Such an abrupt and sudden change.
People would notice.
People would see.
All I do is make the choice.
Looking to the voices. Calvin turned to face the crowd. The people standing in a row. Never a thought to cross their minds. Then there was one, and another... Yet one more. The faces in the mass. Such vanity, such vain ignorant hope. Calvin looked once more to the eyes...
That wonder and innocence.
The beauty I come to love.
I can still see her,
Hear them.
Remember the love.
The key. The voices whispered among themselves. "Perhaps the return is upon." And Calvin fought for the faith.
Return unto theyself.
Hold the smile,
Hold the crystal,
Hold the memories,
Of good times,
Of loved ones.
Of believed fairy tales.
Hold on to the eyes.
Calvin spoke.
copyright S. Burns 01/21/97
I will put up more of Calvin's poetry (I have a large binder full of it) and let me know what you think of it.
And as a regular feature I will be adding his work, the writings of friends, and my own poetry and other writings.
Aleron's Poetry My Poetry Calvin's Cornflakes Poetry
Bright Blessings!
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