The Bad Music Cycle
"Trends and fads run in about a 15-20 year cycle." It is a theory that pertains greatly to the area of music, especially at this point and time. Fifteen to twenty years ago, dopey bands such as Survivor, Foreigner, Loverboy, 38 Special, Asia, and several others dominated the charts with howling, methodical tunes that projected feelings of tremendous hopelessness, despair, and bad outfits. Now, twenty or so years after we endured such songs as Sister Christian, Eye of the Tiger, Lovin' Every Minute of It, and Feels Like the First Time, the aforementioned bands, and the aura they emitted, has been seemingly transmogrified into a new breed of methodical melody fodders: The Wallflowers, Third Eye Blind, Bush (Gavin, yea!), The Verve Pipe, and Matchbox Whatever, with their jolly tunes: Push, ("I wanna push you around, yeah I will, yeah I will---brilliant!) The Difference, Little Things*, The Freshman, and so on, and so on, and so on.
I Imagine sometime earlier this week , there was a dopey guy watching Rikki Lake or whatever, and there came a commercial break. Following the commercials for products that cater to the instant gratification set, on comes one of those K-tell Records commercials. "K-Tell presents, The Rockin' late 70's! Do you remember those great bands such as Asia, Loverboy..." and then, a list of the songs on the album scroll while a medley of those scrolling tunes is played, one blending into the other, sounding like one song. As this advertisement is played, the dopey guy recalls old times, and says to his pal or self, "Gosh, do you remember that summer when we sat around, wore funny pants, and listened to Loverboy, Foreigner, Survivor, and 38 special? Those were fine time weren't they!" His pal agrees, and asks if it's okay when Rikki ends, if they can watch Dorf on Golf.
Fast forward twenty years into the future: Some zany chick, while once again regretting her multiple piercings, is watching a similar talk-show. A commercial break comes, there is an ad for pies and the Elton John Princess Di Memorial CD, volume 23. Then, there comes a similar K-tell presents commercial, where The Wallflowers, Third Eye Blind and all those others are featured on a "Rockin' 90's album", only these guys' tunes blend together even better for this commercials medley, in fact she wonders why they just play one song. "Wow!" She says to her friend, Nate. "Nate, d'ya remember the summer when we sat around, wore funny pants, and listened to The Verve Pipe, The Wallflowers, Third Eye Blind, and Bush? Weren't those keen times?" Nate grunts, and reminds her that carpenters are coming later that day to lower the floors, as his knuckles have been scraping on them..
Notice the similarities, kids? They are sure stunning, popular music today is krrrrrrap, as it was years ago. Sure, occasionally I think perhaps that I am a bit too harsh, critical, and that possibly while I was couple skating to the slow tunes of Foreigner and Air Supply, or jamming to "Eye of The Tiger" while watching Rocky, some disgruntled music fan was thinking to himself "Confound these bands! Why, these folks are equally disturbing as were The Kingsmen, Buddy Holly , Herb Alpert, and all those other dorks!" while i aloofly enjoyed them so. But when I think these thoughts, it always takes just a few seconds, and I get my mind back, realize that today's popular music sucks, and continue to refuse compromising my musical standards. Instead, I use my time to enjoy Radiohead, Bjork, Portished, Scenic, and the others that actually do exist, contrary to "popular" belief...
*This is the WORST song ever.
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