Sorrow, grief, anguish, depression… all of these are very real and while the causes of these are many and varied let us look at two main categories. Firstly, as the result of the evil one, the devil and secondly, as the result of some kind of loss.
· Let us first look at sorrow that arises as a result of the evil one
Saint Dorotheos of Gaza writes (On Consultation)
“ Be careful to ask for advice (from your spiritual Father or someone else who your spiritual father has suggested) and do not set yourself up as your own judges. Learn by experience how much freedom from anxiety, how much joy, how much peace this brings. But although I was saying that I am never troubled now, listen what happened to me some time ago. When I was still in the monastery, there came to me only once a great and unspeakable sadness. I was overcome by such anguish and distress that I felt as though I was about to give up my soul. This affliction was the result of demonic activity. Such temptations are always the result of the demon’s envy. It is very heavy, but thankfully it does not last for long. The person feels heavy; the mind dark; nothing and no one are able to comfort us and everything causes us extreme anguish and chokes our soul. The grace of God comes swiftly to the soul, when endurance is no longer possible. I was, on that day, in such a state of temptation and distress. I was standing inside the monastery looking towards the courtyard in the early hours of the morning seeking God’s help. Suddenly I turned towards the church and I noticed someone who was dressed like a bishop, enter the Holy Sanctuary. Even though I am never in the habit of following or paying undue attention to strangers, when I have not been given a blessing to do so, something pushed me and I followed this ‘bishop’ into the Sanctuary. He stood for quite some time with His hands lifted in the air praying and I also stood behind him in fear and prayer. When he finished his prayer he turned towards me and as he approached I felt the sorrow and fear leave me. He then repeated the following verse from the Psalms three times, each time tapping with his fingers on my chest, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth - praise to our God” (Psalm 40: 1-3) And there entered into my heart light, joy, comfort, sweetness; I became a new person. And I ran to find this ‘bishop’, but he was nowhere to be found.”
· Sorrow that we experience as the result of loss.
There are many forms of loss for example the death of someone close to us, a breakdown in a friendship or relationship (marriage), being out of work, being sick for a prolonged time, having a disability, etc…
In these cases we need to seek the joy that we have lost elsewhere. And more importantly we need to seek this ‘replacement joy’ in a healthy way and in a way that is pleasing to God. The joy of being able to create something and contribute, the joy of being with other people and communicating, the joy of being with nature that so many people find in bushwalking or in gardening, all these forms of joy while they may not cure us for ever from feeling sadness do, on the one hand, offer real relief from our sadness and, on the other hand do not exacerbate our sadness and depression and make it worse.
This is not the case unfortunately with other forms of ‘replacement joy’ that are unhealthy and that are not pleasing to God. We need to realise that God wants us to be happy and to find peace and joy in our life. When we know that something is not pleasing to God or is ‘sinful’ then the reason for this is not that ‘God doesn’t want me to be ‘happy’ or ‘religion is meant to be boring’ but the reason is that this action or thought will hurt us and will damage us. When we fight sadness or emptiness by seeking pleasure through acts of immorality of the flesh, or by seeking relief through taking of drugs and alcohol and other substances then this only at best offers very short-term help. This temporary relief from our problems comes about because of the numbing effect that these things have on our soul, but in the long term they make our problem much worse. It would be like telling someone whose hand was being burnt by a fire to take an aspirin to make the pain go away instead of telling them to take their hand away from the flame! These ‘replacement joys’ that are not pleasing to God inflict wounds on our soul and in order to avoid feeling this greater pain from this new wound we throw ourselves further into these pleasures, only to find ourselves in greater pain. We need to break this cycle before our death otherwise we run the risk of being eternally tormented, not by burning fires in hell, but by the wounds of our own soul.
We all need to feel happy in our life and this is God’s will as well, but we need to be careful that we don’t make matters worse. Situations will always arise in our day to day life that are out of our control; we are never helpless and never alone. God can show us a way out of every situation and difficulty. These ‘ways out’ are not always of a purely spiritual manner either. From the life of Father Porphyrios we read of two examples of ways he helped people cope with depression and sadness.
“Once I went to Father Porphyrios and told him that I was suffering from depression and that I felt melancholy. He told me that I should get in the bus and go to the mountains and walk around through the trees and flowers and birds.”
And elsewhere we read:
“I had a problem that was very great and I had gone to Father Porphyrios many times in order to ask him to pray for me and to seek his advice. This time again I had gone for the same problem and he knew this. He took me by the hand and led me to his parrot. He had taught it to say a few phrases such as the Jesus prayer and also ‘Gerontissa, gerontissa,’ After listening to Father Porphyrios and the parrot and watching Him playing and laughing like a small child, I also began to laugh. Although I left without having discussed my problem, I felt peaceful and happy and was greatly encouraged to continue my struggle.”
Spending time with people and talking, being with nature, these are sources of joy in our life. Yet after having said all this it needs to be said that the greatest source of joy in the whole world is the Love of God and the events which surround the working of our salvation. When God became human in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ and restored the link between God and humans Jesus also restored our link to true joy and peace and happiness because all these things are to be found in and with God. And as a result of God becoming human, not only was the link restored between God and humanity but also between human and human. The word rejoice in Greek cairete appears many times in the Bible.
Luke 1:26-28 “ Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”
Matthew 28:9 “And as they went to tell His disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, “Rejoice!” So they came and held Him by the feet and worshipped Him.”
It is this complete joy that God offers that in many cases can offer the only real relief in times of extreme sadness. Father Porphyrios speaking to a group of young people about this true joy said,
“If we were to find a treasure we would not tell anyone. But when the Christian finds Christ, comes to know Christ, when Christ draws near to the soul, and the soul senses Christ, the Christian wants to shout aloud and to tell all, to speak about Christ, what is Christ, love Christ and prefer nothing above His Love. Christ is everything, the source of Life. All the beautiful things are with Christ… Christ is joy, life, light, the true light, which makes a person rejoice, to fly, to see all, to see everyone, to hurt for everyone, to want everyone with them, everyone close to Christ… And apart from Christ: affliction, melancholy, nerves, worry, memories of the wounds of life, of pressures… we go here, we go there and nothing, we can’t stay anywhere. The person of Christ, the Christian, must love Christ and when he/she loves Christ he/she is delivered from the devil, from hell, from death”.

Father Porphyrios, slept in the Lord 1991