The Dangers of Drinking
Warning: The consumption of alcohol...
May leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra
May make you think you are whispering when you are not
Is a major factor in dancing like a retard
May cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
May cause you to think you can sing
May lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning
May make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting
May make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked
May cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary
Is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead
May create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
May lead you to believe you are invisible
May lead you to think people are laughing with you
May cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear
May cause pregnancy
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