Groucho Marx

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on I go into the library and read a good book.

Send two dozen roses to room 424 and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.

Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

A man is as young as the woman he feels.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Any man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

Sir, I never forget a face. But in your case I'll make an exception.

I've worked myself up from nothing to a state of extream poverty.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest-- ask him. If he says 'Yes,' you know he's a crook.

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