[Momono and Tamami wave to the reader. Momono is wearing a white lab coat and a scholar's cap, and holds a pointer in one hand. Tamami, for some reason, is wearing a fairy's costume, complete with wings and antennae.]
Momono: Hey, everyone! I'm the Summary Professor, Doctor Pink--"Doc Pink" for short!!
Tamami: And I'm her helper, Brownie Brown--call me "Bra-Bra"!! (1)
[The pair head over to a mid-sized terrarium labeled "Narutakisou."]
Doc Pink: Today, let's try studying the ecosystem of Narutakisou together!
Bra-Bra: Let's~!
[We look through the glass casing at the building within.]
Doc Pink: Look, Bra-Bra! This is Narutakisou.
Bra-Bra: Waaai! It really fits, doesn't it?
[Just then, something walks by.]
Bra-Bra: ...Hm? Professor, Professor, something just came out! What's that life form called?
Doc Pink: Ah, that? That one's called "Shiratori Ryuushi." He's moved to the capital, and seeks to become a picture-book author.
[Box: SHIRATORI RYUUSHI (18)
DOB: 9/9
VIRGO, BLOOD TYPE: O
-FOCUS
-EFFORT
-WILLPOWER
-HOPE
-DISPOSITION
-RISKS LIFE]
Bra-Bra: Waaai! A great age for a dreamer! ...Hello, what's this? All of a sudden, "Shiratori Ryuushi" looks smitten! (2) What's that pretty life form?
Doc Pink: That one's called "Aoba Kozue." This life form may look bleach-brained, (3) but in her head...well, she really is bleach-brained.
Bra-Bra: Bleach-brained~
[Box: AOBA KOZUE (16)
DOB: 12/21
SAGITTARIUS, BLOOD TYPE: O
-TRUST
-SUPPORT
-BLESSING
-ENCOURAGEMENT
-LOVE
-AWAKENING]
Doc Pink: "Aoba Kozue" is Narutakisou's Ooya-san. Put simply, she's this apartment's big boss!
Bra-Bra: Waaai! It couldn't be more appropriate! ...Hey, wait--I only took my eyes off him for a second, and "Shiratori Ryuushi" is in a bad situation!
["Shiratori Ryuushi" lies on his side, with a big lump on his head, while what looks like some kind of human dinosaur roars menacingly over him.]
Doc Pink: Ah, that's "Akasaka Saki!"
Bra-Bra: "Akasaka Saki"~? A tongue-twister?
Doc Pink: When "Aoba Kozue" receives an emotional shock, her personality changes. "Akasaka Saki" is "Aoba Kozue's" second personality--she's a very ferocious and dangerous life form!
Bra-Bra: Waaai! It's the food cycle!!
[Box: AKASAKA SAKI (?)
DOB: ????
SIGN AND BLOOD TYPE: ????
-CHARGES THE ENEMY
-FIGHTING SPIRIT
-HOT-BLOODED
-HIGH-HANDED
-TERRIFYING
-CALLED A DEMON]
Bra-Bra: ...What's this? While we were talking, she changed again, Professor!
[The new personality looks about with wide eyes.]
Doc Pink: That's "Aoba Kozue's" third personality, "Kanazawa Nanako." She has the brainpower of an average child, and thus is interested in many different things.
Bra-Bra: Waaai! In a suspense drama, she's the type who gets killed first!
[Box: KANAZAWA NANAKO (6)
DOB: ????
SIGN AND BLOOD TYPE: ????
-RECONNAISANCE
-ACCELERATION
-FOCUS
-CHARGES THE ENEMY
-STRANGE (4)
-SURPRISE ATTACK]
Bra-Bra: ...Huh? Professor, Professor~ What are these life forms gushing forth now?
Doc Pink: Those are the life forms that inhabit this apartment. Let's try observing them in order, shall we? This first life form is called "Kurosaki Sayoko."
"Kurosaki Sayoko": ..........
[Box: KUROSAKI SAYOKO (?)
DOB: 10/17
LIBRA, BLOOD TYPE: AB
-SELF-DESTRUCTION
-TRUST
-EXHAUSTION
-GOOD LUCK (5)
-LOVE
-MIRACLE]
Doc Pink: This life form has almost zero motivation in everything, including living.
Bra-Bra: Waaai! She's a bother, isn't she!!
Doc Pink: That "Kurosaki Sayoko's" small reason for living is this life form, called "Kurosaki Asami."
"Kurosaki Asami": Oniii-chaaan!
[Box: KUROSAKI ASAMI (12)
DOB: 6/26
CANCER, BLOOD TYPE: A
-FOCUS
-SUPPORT
-EFFORT
-ENCOURAGEMENT
-DEVOTION
-LOVE]
Doc Pink: She doesn't have much money, but she can continue to fight the good fight against poverty!
Bra-Bra: Waaai! Deflationary spiral!!
Doc Pink: And this shameless living Kokeshi (6) is called "Chanohata Tamami." She may appear normal, but her heart is dark and stagnant and rotten.
"Chanohata Tamami": DEATH~
[Box: CHANOHATA TAMAMI (16)
DOB: 11/8
SCORPIO, BLOOD TYPE: B
-STIRS THINGS UP
-FORSAKEN
-IMPREGNABLE FORTRESS
-FRIENDSHIP
-COERCION
-TERRIFYING]
Bra-Bra: Waaai...
Doc Pink: Good kids shouldn't go near her, even if you happen to see her in town--
[Bra-Bra, her face shadowed, reaches out and grabs Doc Pink's cheek, stretching it out nearly to the professor's shoulder.]
Doc Pink: Seriously, you'll die!
Bra-Bra: Like you, eh, professor~~~
[...right. Next?]
Doc Pink: Eh? This beautiful woman is...
Bra-Bra: AH! Professor, professor~! Um, even though no one really wants to know, what's this over-exposed, glasses-wearing, perverted geek~?
[Box: MOMONO MEGUMI (19)
DOB: 2/13
AQUARIUS, BLOOD TYPE: O
-INSIGHT
-HOT-BLOODED
-FIGHTING SPIRIT
-STRANGE (7)
-ENCOURAGEMENT
-RESTORATION]
[Doc Pink growls and jabs her pointer into Bra-Bra's face.]
Doc Pink: That's "Momono Megumi," this apartment's mood-maker!!
Bra-Bra: Waaai, how so~?
...and so...
Doc Pink: ...Well, in any case, these are the life forms that inhabit Narutakisou and make it so much fun!
[All six life forms stand together outside the building.]
Doc Pink: What in the world will happen from here on?
[Doc Pink, a vein bulging in her cheek, waves to the reader with one hand, while the other is curled into a fist and buried in Bra-Bra's cheek.]
Doc Pink: From here on out, let's all keep observing! Well, we'll end here for today. Bye!
Bra-Bra: Again, for eternity~
Finis.
[We pull back from Doc Pink and Bra-Bra...out of the panel...to reveal Haibara, Johnny on his hand, reading volume 3 of Mahoraba. They stare silently at the open book...] (8)
[And stare...]
[...and stare...]
[Some distance away, Asami and Sayoko glance back at the ventriloquist while holding up a sign: From here on out, please enjoy the main story.]
12. This Present Time
Momono: THIS IS THE ERA (9) OF THE PICNIC! YOU HEAR ME? THE ERA OF THE PICNIC!!
[The other residents, gathered around Narutakisou's kitchen table, stare dumbly at Momono, who has just jumped up on her seat to deliver this proclamation.]
Momono: The glorious weather! The cool shade!! (10) Eating delicious bentou (11) in the sunbeams streaming through the leaves!! IT'S THE BEST!!! THIS IS THE ERA OF THE PICNIC!!
Shiratori: I see...
Momono: So, leave tomorrow open, OK?
Shiratori: Eh...? Ah...wai--!
[And then, she's out the door.]
Shiratori: As usual, that person does whatever she wants...
Kozue: A picnic, huh? It sounds fun!
Tamami: It does~
Asami: Yeah!
Kozue: Shiratori-san, how's your schedule?
Shiratori: Eh...? Ah, I don't have anything special planned. Well, a picnic might be all right every once in a while.
[Kozue claps her hands.]
Kozue: Wonderful! It's so much more fun when everyone's together, isn't it? I'll make the best bentous I can!
Tamami: I'm looking forward to that~
And thus...
[The door pops open, and Momono sticks her head back in.]
Momono: Ah, Shiratori-kun! I'm not a morning person, so I want you to wake me up, OK?
Shiratori: [thinking] Why is she asking me...?
This story begins.
FOUR-PANEL: "I'm taking this"
[Asami lays out cardboard bedding while behind her, Sayoko rummages through a box.]
Asami: It's been so long since we've had a picnic!
[Sayoko pulls a flat-brimmed hat out of the box and puts it on.]
Asami: Ah--it's going to be so much fun!
[Sayoko pulls a long-handled net out of the box.]
Asami: We should get ready for tomorrow, then go to bed early!
[She turns around and sees Sayoko, with net, hat, waist-pouch, and long coat--all ready for a fishing expedition.]
FOUR-PANEL: "An important problem"
[Momono and Tamami are having another cheek-pulling, fist-pounding quarrel.]
Momono: TAMA-CHAN, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
Tamami: SAME TO YOU, MOMO-SAN~!!
Shiratori: Wha...?!
[Shiratori hurries over.]
Shiratori: What are you fighting about?!
Momono: THE SEASONING FOR THE FRIED EGGS IN THE BENTOU!!
Tamami: It has to be salt~!!
Momono: No, it's absolutely got to be sugar!!
Momono & Tamami: WHICH IS IT?!
Shiratori: Please hurry up and go to sleep.
FOUR-PANEL: "Don't say that"
Haibara: ...
[Haibara, with Johnny on his hand as usual, is fishing in the courtyard pond.]
Johnny: ...I've been thinking since earlier. How can I say this...to put it frankly--in this apartment, you're really losing it. (12)
[Haibara responds to this by hurling Johnny away.]
Johnny: Noooo~
FOUR-PANEL: "1+1=1"
[Haibara fishes contentedly, while Johnny lies in the grass a few feet to the side. Haibara continues to fish...then looks over at Johnny, and promptly walks over and picks him up.]
Haibara: ...
Johnny: Idiot...
FOUR-PANEL: "Alarm clock"
[Box: "The next day"]
[Shiratori knocks on Momono's door.]
Shiratori: Momono-san! It's morning!!
[Inside, Momono groans.]
Momono: ...Open the door~
Shiratori: Is it all right?
Momono: Yeah, just hurry and open the door!
Shiratori: All right...
[He turns the knob and pushes the door in...]
Momono: OW!
[...striking Momono, who was lying just inside the room, in the head.]
Momono: Ooooh....
[Momono rubs the lump on her head with one hand, while stifling a yawn with the other.]
Momono: Thanks for waking me up!
Shiratori: [thinking] That's why she was sleeping there?
FOUR-PANEL: "Kind-hearted Tamami's mansion: What waits inside...?"
[Momono hammers loudly on the door to Tamami's room.]
Momono: TAMA-CHAN, IT'S MORNING! WAKE UP!
[Without waiting for a response, she opens the door and sticks her head in, cackling loudly.]
Momono: IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP SOON, I'LL SHOW SHIRATORI-KUN YOUR SLEEPING FACE--GUAH?!
[Shiratori can only watch as Tamami--who's apparently been up for some time--appears behind Momono, shoves her inside, then pushes the door closed behind her.]
Momono: Wh...what the heck~? That's...what's this? It's...UWAAA?!
[Momono begins pounding on the door.]
Momono: LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!! SOMETHING'S IN HERE!!
Shiratori: [thinking] What kind of a room IS that, anyway...
FOUR-PANEL: "Sleeping postures"
[Shiratori and a thoroughly-spooked Momono trail behind Tamami as she knocks on the Kurosakis' door.]
Tamami: Asami-chan, Sayoko-san~
Asami: Yes, come in!
[Asami, hair unkempt and still wearing pajamas, sits up from under a cardboard blanket as the three come in.]
Asami: Good morning, everyone!
Tamami: That's our Asami-chan, the honor student~
Shiratori: [thinking] I knew it--they sleep in cardboard...
Tamami: Where's Sayoko-san~?
Asami: Let's see here, Mom is...ah! There she is.
[Sayoko is slumped face-down on top of a stack of boxes, arms and legs dangling limply in the air.]
Shiratori: [thinking] What kind of sleeping posture...?
FOUR-PANEL: "Did you really sleep?"
Shiratori: Now that I think about it, Asami-chan, this might be the first time I've seen you with your hair down.
Asami: It's all ruffled--it's embarrassing!
Sayoko: If she always keeps her hair in that style...would she lose hair along the edge of the part, I wonder...
[Shiratori and Asami stare at Sayoko in silence for a long moment. Then, Sayoko's stomach rumbles loudly.]
FOUR-PANEL: "He's possessed"
[A revived Momono pounds on Haibara's door.]
Momono: Bara-san, it's morning!
[Without waiting for a response, she pushes open the door.]
Momono: BARA-SAN!
Haibara: !
[Haibara sits up in a panic, and immediately begins searching his room. For what, you ask?]
Tamami: Yo, I'm Johnny!
[For Johnny, currently residing on Tamami's left hand.]
FOUR-PANEL: "Imagine"
Momono: Last up is Kozue-chan. You boys wait here!
Tamami: Kozue-chan~
[Tamami opens the door, and she and Momono go in. Their voices carry back through the open doorway.]
Tamami: Oh my, Kozue-chan's sleeping in a pose like this~
Momono: She'll catch a cold!
Tamami: Kozue-chan's sleeping face is so pretty~
[Shiratori and Haibara's faces turn red as Tamami and Momono continue.]
Tamami: Besides which--look at this negligee! How unexpectedly erotic of Kozue-chan~
Momono: Huh? Hey, have her breasts gotten bigger again?
Tamami: Eh? Let me see...wow, you're right~
[Shiratori and Haibara stare blankly ahead, steam pouring out of their ears...]
Kozue: Ah--good morning!
[...and behind them, Kozue, fully dressed, walks in from the front gate.]
FOUR-PANEL: "It's all right, isn't it?"
[Kozue looks on puzzled, as Momono cackles madly.]
Momono: A pure heart dwells within a sound body! You have an unhealthy body--that's why you have these wild delusions!
Shiratori: [thinking] As if you baiting us had nothing to do with it...
Momono: So, let's do radio exercises! (13)
Shiratori: What relation does that have with...?
Momono: A BIG one! Pure hearts lead to grade school students!! Grade school students lead to summer vacation!! Summer vacation leads to-- (14)
[She cuts off suddenly and tilts her head.]
Momono: ...students are lucky to have summer vacation, huh...
Shiratori: [thinking] Like you do anything during the year, anyway...
Tamami: I mean, Momo-san's a student, too~
FOUR-PANEL: "Arm action"
[Kozue, Asami, and Sayoko stand in a line.]
Radio: Now, exercise your hands and feet!
[Kozue and Asami have their arms outstretched. Sayoko has her arms raised overhead.]
Radio: Reach, reach, reeeeeach!
[Kozue and Asami lean over to one side, one arm stretched overhead. Sayoko stands upright, both arms out at her sides.]
Radio: Take a deep breath!
[Kozue and Asami have their arms outstretched again. Sayoko's arms are down, hands at her sides.]
Momono: ...Ah, well, it'll do...
Kozue & Asami: ?
FOUR-PANEL: "That's it"
Momono: Well, preparations and exercises are done--let's go!
[She bends over to pick up a large barrel.]
Shiratori: ...and that is?
[Momono laughs.]
Momono: It's a wine cask!
[She hoists it up onto her shoulder.]
Momono: Once we get there, I'll break it open! (15)
Shiratori: ...
[Just then, Momono loses her balance.]
Momono: Whoa!
Shiratori: !
[The barrel falls off Momono's shoulder...steamrolls over Asami and Sayoko, who were standing just behind her...and keeps rolling off into the distance.]
Momono: ...I guess a wine cask was impossible after all...
Shiratori: [thinking] Those two meet a lot of misfortune, don't they...
FOUR-PANEL: "Me, too"
Momono: All right, I'll take one last roll call! Kozue-chan!
Kozue: Here!
Momono: Tama-chan!
Tamami: Present~
Momono: Shiratori-kun!
Shiratori: Here...
Momono: Sayo-chan!
Sayoko: ...
Momono: Asami-chan!
Asami: Here!
Momono: Johnny!
Johnny: Yo!
Momono: All right, that's everyone, right?
[Haibara silently points to himself.]
Momono: Well then--LET'S GO!!
Haibara: [crying] ...
Asami: ...Huh?
[Everyone looks out to the courtyard at Asami's exclamation. It's raining--and not lightly, either.]
Asami: Ah...
Tamami: It's a downpour~
Momono: But the weather forecast said it would be clear...
[She sighs in disappointment.]
Momono: Oh, man...unfortunately, it'll be impossible to have a picnic today...
Kozue: You're right...
[Shiratori looks at Kozue's sad face, then speaks up.]
Shiratori: Well, today can't be helped. So we'll all just have to go again another time!
Kozue: Shiratori-san...
Momono: ...he's right! All right, change of plans--today, we have a PARTY!!
Shiratori: [thinking] In the end, she's happy as long as she can drink...
"Again"...
[The residents lay out a blanket on the walkway, and Momono begins handing out drinks.]
How much longer will there be an "again"?
[Kozue looks on as Shiratori and Tamami both try to talk to her at the same time.]
...This won't last forever...One of these days, times like this, where everyone makes merry, will...
[A small smile develops on Kozue's face as the party kicks into full swing.]
...But even so--no, rather, because of that...
This present time...
[Momono stands, bottle in hand, pontificating to Asami and Sayoko. Shiratori and Kozue engage in a light-hearted conversation, while Tamami has once again stolen Johnny, and is taunting Haibara with him.]
...I want to treasure it.
1 ブラウニー・ブラウン: "Brownie Brown," in katakana, comes out "Braunie Braun"--hence, "Bra-Bra" rather than "Bro-Bro." BACK
2 早速メロメロ ("Sassoku mero-mero"): Lit. "Immediately falling down drunk." BACK
3 ホワホワ ("Howa-howa"): As far as I can tell, the only place "howa" shows up in the Japanese language is in the katakanized "howaito"--"white." So, I'm taking "howa-howa" to be doubly white--scoured clean, completely empty, etc. BACK
4 かく乱 ("Kakuran"): The fact that the first half of this word is in hiragana, rather than kanji, lends it multiple potential meanings. Depending on which character is taken for "kaku," this word can mean "disturbance," "perturbation," "derangement," or "heatstroke." BACK
5 Don't look at me, I'm just the translator. :) I don't know what that's doing in there, either. BACK
6 コケシ ("Kokeshi"): A wooden doll with no limbs and an enlarged head. BACK
8 Why are they staring? Go back and count Narutakisou's life forms again. :) BACK
9 時代 ("Jidai"): Era/epoch/period. (I just wanted to confirm that this isn't embellished on my part--Momono really is that nuts. :) ) BACK
10 冴えわたる深緑 ("Saewataru shinryoku"): Lit. "The dark green getting cold." BACK
11 お弁当 ("O-bentou"): Japanese boxed lunch. BACK
12 浮いてる ("Uiteru"): Lit. "To become loose/merry." BACK
13 Radio exercises are early morning calisthenics, normally done to music broadcast on public radio in Japan. (They are also mainly associated with primary and junior high school students.) BACK
14 Momono didn't start drinking already, did she? I have no idea what this spiel is supposed to signify. BACK
15 Traditionally, you break the lid of a sake barrel with a wooden mallet to mark the beginning of an important event, such as New Year's or the opening of a new business. (I doubt a picnic would qualify...but then again, neither would a wine cask.) BACK