Disclaimer: I'm just a simple author who must give into the needs of my writing. I own nothing of Paramount. The song lyrics are of Melissa Etheridge, used without permission. Comments and feedback are welcome.
Rating: G
"Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel the truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go"
This morning had begun as so many did for Kathryn. She had bathed quickly and put her hair up to apply the small amount of makeup she wore, the stroke of red lipstick coated her mouth and she leaned close to the mirror to apply some mascara.
That was when she looked at her face and was surprised by what looked back. She noticed the small wrinkle that had mysteriously appeared against the curve of her cheek. For some that could have been a smile crease but she knew it came from all the frowning down on the mean aliens they had met since beginning this wild trip those years ago.
She wondered for a second as to why destiny had lead her down this hard road before she realized something that had tried to hide itself inside her heart.
Straightening her spine she closed up the bottle of mascara and released her hair from its confines. "Today I begin anew." She promised herself as she made her way to the Bridge. The hallway to the turbolift was scattered by crewmembers that each received a wonderful smile from their happy Captain.
She stepped onto the lift alone and ordered it to the Bridge. Some butterflies shifted and danced in her stomach while she thought about how to put her plan in motion. *No backing down now. * she thought as her shoulders drew back and she felt the lift stop. The low sound of them opening made her spring to action.
"Captain." Tuvok greeted her with his dry voice.
She threw him a small smile from the corner of her mouth and nodded slightly in his direction.
The Bridge was running smoothly and she sat next to Chakotay. He smiled at her but had a padd in his hands which also needed attention.
For the next couple of hours they worked quietly until Kathryn leaned over her console and wrote him an invitation and sent it with a prayer in her heart.
The Commander was hardly surprised to see it since they quite often ate dinner and then conversed about the ship in either of their quarters. It was the few times she would let the cloak of having to be strong fall from her shoulders and he had been able to see the real woman beneath.
But this request specifically told him to wear a comfortable pair of shoes and to meet her in the Holodeck an hour after dinner.
They had several hours before it came to be.
After the shifts had finished and each had walked to their prospective quarters Kathryn put her acts to work. She reserved the Holodeck for two hours and wrote the program she wanted as quickly as she could.
When that was done she dashed back to her room and prepared herself and the dinner they would share. Kathryn dressed in a very soft silk dress that skimmed her knees and would show off her legs that were encased in a pair of high heels.
After reapplying her lipstick she lifted the bottle of perfume and sprayed between her breasts a heavenly amount.
Back in Chakotay's quarters he stood, freshly showered and wearing merely his cotton briefs, before his closet and looked at what he would wear.
"Comfortable shoes? Are we eating standing up?" he wondered aloud and took out a tan pair of pants and white shirt. The shoes he chose were shining back at him as he walked the short distance to his Captains door.
The sound of her chime made her nervous but she had waited too long for this moment. "Enter," she said as she stood by the table that was adorned by delicious plates filled with replicated foods.
Chakotay walked in looking as handsome as a man should while fully dressed and the scent of his musky cologne blended with the soft perfume she wore.
*Excellent* she thought. "Please," Kathryn's hand waved over to the seats. "Join me."
"Thank you, Ma'am," his smile reached all the way to his eyes as he drank in the lovely sight before him. If Starfleet only knew the crime they committed by making his Captain wear slacks. Her legs and calves were sinful to look at with that nice skirt, he thought and had to stop the corners of his mouth from forming into a wolf's panting mouth.
He pulled her seat for her and waited as she tucked herself in before walking to his side and sitting down.
Dinner was a peaceful event that neither wanted to end too soon. They spoke of problems with their latest adventures with a new alien race and what must be new back on Earth.
Chakotay noticed that when she mentioned her home and what was left behind there wasn't that hidden shadow behind her eyes. *She has made peace with being here. * He knew that he shouldn't bring his hopes up for this could mean many things, perhaps not even include him in the acceptance. Yet how his heart hoped and sent a desperate prayer to whichever gods would hear him.
They laughed slightly recalling the way Seven had unknowingly agreed to a date with Harry. That had been carefully constructed event created by Paris and Torres and it had worked out nicely.
When the plates were empty and the talk quieted down a small bit Chakotay finally brought up a question he had. He placed his hands in a steeple position before him and leaned a bit to ask, "So. What now?"
She offered him a small smile and held out her right hand, palm up. With no hesitation on his part he took it into his larger hand and silently they walked out of her quarters.
He instantly knew where they were heading soon and excitement mixed with nervousness began to tap dance in his full stomach. The few crewmembers that saw the elegantly dressed couple could not help but smile when they noticed the ear to ear grin that adorned their Commander's face.
Upon entering the Holodeck his jaw opened to a surprised O by the sight there: the program playing was of a big, darkened dance hall, a slow orchestra played in a corner and long candles were the only illumination all around, some on tall stands and others sitting on the floor.
Kathryn still held his hand and turned to look into his eyes. "I never did ask you: do you dance?"
With a tiny nod Chakotay took her into a warm embrace and began to gently sway to the rhythms around them. His eyes drifted closed as her heady perfume wafted into his senses again. The hand at her back drew her close enough to press her breasts into his chest and he felt her sigh of happiness against his nape.
The music was their cocoon from everything and their bodies flowed together as one. Every now and then her hip would brush against him and his large hand drifted down to the small of her back and held her there.
"Even if I didn't know how to dance there's no way I'd refuse you." He whispered into her ear as he swung them around in a small circle. Her hands held onto him tightly as they moved in perfect sync.
Without thinking about it he tilted his head a bit and brushed a kiss into her hair, where the softness of her strands tickled his lips as he kept them there for long seconds.
One song flowed into another as their bodies left nothing between them but the clothes they wore.
*So this is what happiness is? * she smiled as another soft sigh left Chakotay and was lost into the music. Kathryn knew he was sharing her emotions and it made her pulse jingle inside her.
"All I needed to do was let go, Chakotay," her gaze made its way to his strong face. "I released all the guilt I felt about Mark and being stranded here and I came to see that my destiny was here. For some strange reason I was picked to be thrown into the Delta Quadrant and be with you. I won't fight destiny when I can enjoy the fruits of it."
Chakotay choked up with the love that shimmered in her eyes. So many dreams of his had revolved around this sight before him that he couldn't help but hold her tighter in case she was a vision he was having.
Kathryn could hear the way his heart was beating frantically in his chest and knew that Chakotay required several moments to compose himself. This admission had taken some time in arriving and now it was probably too much for him to take without fears that it might be all a daydream. So she accepted the tight hold on her and smiled when she felt the way his body shivered slightly.
She began to hum along the song that the orchestra was playing while they continued their slow dancing, thighs brushing and hands holding tightly.
He spoke with a thickness in his throat, "This means no going back. No regrets, no leaving things halfway. I've waited too long for you and given crumbs when I can have all of you will not satisfy me." His fingers brought her face up to look at him. "We're two adults and I want you to know clearly what I want from you."
"All right."
"I told you once that I would stand by you. I want to be your husband. Perhaps not today nor tomorrow, but I want us to be committed to each other. We've had enough time together to know that being with each other is right. And I'll fight Heaven and Hell to make you happy."
Kathryn's hand came to stop on the curve of his cheek and she offered him the most stunning smile. "Yes."
"Yes? That's all?"
"No. But that's all I can say without breaking down in tears."
"Ah," he smiled a bit thru his own watery eyes. "Ok. Then let me suggest finishing this dance. You have no idea how the feel of you in my arms is making my knees weak."
Kathryn sniffled happily, swallowed hard and gave him a mischievous look, "I have many ways of making your knees weak. Wait until we get to that point!"
They burst into peaceful laughter and continued to dance as the band played on.
The end.