Beatitudes 101*

Author Unknown

Then Jesus took his disciples up to the mountain and gathering them around, He taught them saying,

Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are they who thirst for justice.
Blessed are you when persecuted.
Blessed are you when you suffer.
Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said, Do we have to write this down?

And Andrew said, Are we supposed to know this?

And Philip said, I don't have any paper.

And Bartholomew said, Do we have to turn this in?

And Matthew said, Can I go to the boy's room?

And Judas said, What does this have to do with real life?

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plans and inquired of Jesus, What are the objectives in this cognitive domain and what are your plans for remediation?

*Title applied by Paul Hughes