How To Get Rid of a Preacher

1. Look him straight in the eye when he's preaching.  Shout "Amen" once in a while.  He'll preach himself to death.

2. Pat him on the back.  Brag on his good points.  He'll work himself to death.

3. Start paying him a living on a starvation diet so long he'll eat himself to death.

4. Rededicate your own life to Christ.  Ask the preacher to give you a job to do.  He'll probably die of heart failure.

5. Get the church to unite in prayer for him.  He'll become so effective some larger church will take him off your hands.