God calls all Christians to die to self, to varying extents and at diverse times, according to his purpose. He calls us, initially, to die to self by laying aside our former sins, no longer being subject to them. Some of these we die to readily and happily enough, while others we fight for months, years, even our whole lives long. But once a sin is thoroughly dead to us, or rather we are dead to it, we no longer so much as feel its temptation.

The process of dying to self, in any area of our lives, is always painful, for it is a real death. Sometimes the Lord practices his own brand of "aversion therapy," making us so sickened by a certain activity that we react violently against it, emotionally or even physically. Other temptations remain our nemesis for years. We can only hope, as in the old adage, that the greatness of our enemies will somehow spur ourselves to greatness.

Often we are asked to die not just to sin, but to our own self-nature and self-motivation. We might not be allowed to do what everyone else does with impunity. There might be nothing at all wrong with it, only it is not God's will for us. As Joyce Meyer expresses this phenomenon, "Others can, I can't." Others may stand in the limelight in an important public position. We are to work quietly behind the scenes. Some may work in full-time paid ministry, we are to support ourselves and contribute our ministry free of charge. Others may spend their time going to parties and social events, we are reserved for a quiet life of prayer and intercession. Others may marry and raise a family, we are to die to those desires and live a single life wholly dedicated to the Lord. Probably every Christian has something he or she is not allowed to do.

Not until we have died to self in a particular area of our lives have we truly committed that area to the Lord. Only then can the Lord trust us in regard to that area. Only when we have fully died to self in regard to the tithe, for instance, can the Lord trust us with finances. We must have determined and demonstrated once and for all that we will serve God and not mammon.

Those whom God most wants to use, He causes to die to self more extensively. God spent 80 years perfecting Moses before he was ready to deliver Israel. Moses had died to self so thoroughly that he was called "God's man" and "the humblest man on earth." Yet he let self-motivation surface when he struck the rock in anger against the people, instead of speaking to it. Since Moses had been appointed to represent God, the Lord judged him harshly for his disobedience.

God does not always ASK us to die to self: sometimes He places us in a situation in which it is unavoidable. He uses illness, misfortune, and privation to teach us to rely on him rather than our own resources. Moreover, one may not assume that once a lesson is learned, the instrument of our death will go away. God tamed Jacob's stubborn will by wounding him in the thigh. As a reminder, he limped the rest of his life. The Lord gave Paul a "thorn in the flesh." Evidence suggests that this was a chronic eye ailment. But no matter what we theorize about its nature, clearly the Lord refused to remove it. It was to remain, working death within him, a reminder of his mortality, that he not become too exalted. Thus we must never despise our own "thorns," nor those found in others. Some Christians will always be sick, for a purpose; others will always be needy, still others endure continual trials. Let us not be quick to judge.

One of the hardest things for carnal man to do is to WAIT. On many occasions, God has made promises to individuals, then left them to wait, perhaps for years. Did I really hear from God? they ask. Has God forgotten? Did I do something wrong, and lose the promise? Many times, like Abraham, we fall into the trap of trying to make things happen ourselves. Abraham's mistakes haunt us to this day.

Waiting is both a test and a disciplinary exercise. When the promise is precious to us, we want to lay hold of it. In our impatience, we cannot let go. We try to control the situation and make it happen. We try and fail, and the thing we love is wrested from our feeble grasp. Broken, we at last begin to learn the hard lesson of patience, which is giving in to God, the "Prayer of Relinquishment," as Catherine Marshall called it, "Not my will but thine be done." We say the words readily, but do not truly "own" them till all else fails. We know we have truly given in to God's will when that becomes the only thing that matters to us, and the prize itself is inconsequential.

Only after dying to self to a considerable degree can we begin to say with Paul, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13, NIV).

Death to self is by nature traumatic. As with Jacob, God may wound us, or we may wound ourselves. Before modern medicine, individuals with serious wounds were at grave risk of bleeding to death. One of the few ways to stop the bleeding was by cauterizing, using a red-hot iron to sear the flesh and seal the blood vessels. The process itself was excruciating, but it often worked, and cleansed the wound, as well. A by-product of cauterization was numbness, for the seared flesh became dead to feeling.

There are many areas to which the Lord wishes us to become numb -- not only to sin, but to self, as well: self-motivation, self-direction, all the opinions, preferences, and propensities based in the carnal mind and not from God. There is not a one of us who is totally spiritual, for we are permeated by self like leaven. Even a little bit makes us carnal. The Lord desires that Christians grow ever more numb to the world and to the carnal mind, which is of the world. Let us at all times obey the divine imperative and learn to live not in the flesh but by the Spirit.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world -- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever" (1 John 2:15-17, NIV).

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