Cast:

"Preacher" Joe Sunday, head of the Soul Patrol

"Blue" Mundy, his partner and sidekick

Mr. Ira B. Mean, a cantankerous and uncooperative homeowner

Miss Guide, a New Age believer with a screw loose

Mr. Adam Needy, a man at the end of his rope

Staging:

Can be done like an old-fashioned radio show-with scripts, microphones, and sound effects.

Props:

Fedora hats, dark suits, dark ties

Sunday: (in monotone) It's Saturday morning, Anytown, U.S.A. Some men have gone fishing, Housewives have gone shopping. Kids are playing in the street. But many have remained at home, working in the yard, catching up on lost sleep -- the stuff of life.

But things are not as innocent as they may seem. Some of our fair citizens have addictions. Compulsions. Pet sins. They all need God.

My partner's name is Mundy. His friends call him 'Blue.' We are men with a mission: to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.

My name is Sunday. I carry a Bible.

Sunday: 10:33 a.m. I meet my partner in the church parking lot. He's late.

Mundy: Sorry I'm late, Joe. I got held up.

Sunday: Didn't your mother teach you to 'go' before you left the house?

Mundy: No. I mean, I really got 'held up.'

Sunday: Tell your story to a judge. We have a job to do. (Music)

Sunday: 10:42 a.m. We approach the first house. The name on the mailbox is I. B. Mean.

Mundy: You think that s an omen, Joe?

Sunday: What "omen"?

Mundy: The name: I. B. Mean.

Sunday: Omens are for "crazies." You know that.

Mundy: Sorry, Joe. I forgot You want I should knock on the door?

Sunday: Go ahead. Life is short.

(Mundy knocks. Footsteps are heard from inside.)

Mean: All right, I'm comin', I'm comin'! Keep your socks on! (opens door) What is it?

Sunday: Mr. Mean?

Mean: Yeah?

Sunday: Soul Patrol. We'd like to invite you to church. Do you know Jesus Christ as your Savior?

Mean: Hey, what IS this? Who do you think you are?

Sunday: We're ambassadors for Christ, mister.

Mundy: Yeah, we just want to share Jesus!

Mean: I know, you're from that fanatic church down the street. Hypocrites! You're all hypocrites!

Mundy: Says who?

Mean: My neighbor's cousin's best friend heard it in the barber shop, that's who! Yeah, you're all hypocrites!

Mundy: But . . .

Mean: Now get outta here before I call the cops! I know my rights! (Slams door.)

Mundy: Gee, Joe, he really was mean!

Sunday: Figures.

Mundy: What's that, Joe?

Sunday: Look around. Big house. Manicured lawn. Fancy new car in the driveway.

Mundy: Yeah?

Sunday: The guy's hooked on the things of this life.

Mundy: (Nods.) Right, Joe.

Sunday: 2:05 p.m. After hitting every house for a mile and a half. My tootsies are starting to bark like dogs singing the blues. Mundy's shoes are about ready for a retread. We decide to hit one more house before breaking for coffee and donuts. We are tired.

Mundy: Gee, Joe, do you think we'll have any better luck at this place?

Sunday: What luck?

Mundy: You know, luck. Luck as in rabbit's feet and Friday the 13th.

Sunday: Luck is a godless superstition. You know that.

Mundy: Sorry, Joe, You wanna knock this time? My knuckles are sore.

Sunday: Why not? (He knocks. The door opens.)

Miss Guide: Come on in, boys. Lets get right to work.

Mundy: Huh?

MissGuide: Let's get right to work, I said! Haven't you come prepared?

Mundy: I'm sorry, we're not . . .

Sunday: Were you expecting someone? Just the facts, Ma'am.

Miss Guide: Well, yes. You mean, you're not my new spiritual advisor, and Rafka, "Channel to the Stars"? I was expecting them.

Sunday: No, ma'am. We're the Soul Patrol. We'd like to talk to you about Jesus Christ, the only real way to eternal life.

Miss Guide: Oh, come now, dear boy. I really think there are many paths to "godhood." Don't you?

Sunday: No, ma'am. God doesn't DO reruns.

Sunday: 3:15 p.m. We refreshed our bodies with coffee and donuts. But after being rejected all day, our spirits were low. We were discouraged.

Mundy: Gee, Joe, this is discouraging. I haven't been rejected this much since high school! Maybe we should call it a day.

Sunday: No, Blue, not yet. There aren't many sure things in this life, but one things for sure: there's a soul out there somewhere with our name on it.

Mundy: If you say so, Joe.

Sunday: Lets get this next one. You knock.

Mundy: Okay, Joe. (He knocks.)

Mr. Needy: Yes?

Mundy: Sir, we're from the church down the street. We'd like to talk to you about new life through Jesus Christ.

Needy: New life? What does that mean?

Sunday: It means you can start over again. If you accept Jesus as your Savior, old things are passed away, all things are made new.

Mundy: Yeah. Jesus shed His blood for your sins. If you believe in Him, no matter what you've been, no matter what you've done, Jesus will forgive you. You can start over again with a clean slate. But this time, He'll be there to help you do better.

Needy: Gee, that sounds awful good. I gotta tell you guys, things have been so bad, I was making plans to end it all. You know, suicide.

Mundy: No! Don't do that!

Needy: But now I want to hear more about this new life in Jesus. Please, come in and tell me more!

Sunday: Sure thing. We're right behind you. (To Mundy.) See what I mean, Blue?

Mundy: Yeah, Joe, I see what you mean. If we hadn't . . .

Sunday: Yeah -- if we hadn't.

Sunday: Mr. Adam Needy accepted Jesus as his Savior and Lord. He reconciled himself to his friends and family, and was able to lead many of them to the Lord when they saw the changes God made in his life. Their names are now written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

(To audience:)

Go YE into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature (Mark 16:15).