Newsletter #1--Shakespearean Insults

***PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME TO READ THIS BUT FINISH THIS FOR IT TOOK ME LONG...

*** THIS ISSUE: ***"Cracker's Words" will be a bit longer (or more than "a bit") and the main theme for this issue of the Shakespearean Insult Newsletter because there are some things that I want to say first before further issues comes and plus there have not been any areas and other people to write.***

====SECTION #1-Theme of this Issue: Cracker's Words====

This is the first issue of my Shakespearean Insult Newsletter for those who have written emails to me or signed my guestbook. As planned I was to wait until there were twenty of those people and yesterday it has just reached twenty one. Thank you all for helping the numbers to this and I'd be overjoyed if you give email me more emails for me to add on my list. As it was always said, the more people that are reading this and the wit of Shakespeare, the more meaning there is in it. Right now it is summer vacation here (as it is vacation for us all) so I might be able to make an issue every week and the insults on my page shall be renewed every four days starting from tomorrow (I think I'll take a break after this newsletter). But when school starts, I'll be forced to make the newsletter monthely and the insults weekly (Sunday or Saturday nights to those in the American side of the world)...unless some of you guys would most daringly volunteer in taking over the newsletter business and for me to just take part in writing it. As most of you must think that a weekly or halfweekly newsletter is better, I must say that I am still very unsure about if this newsletter will last. THE LARGEST ELEMENT IN THE DECISION OF THE SURVIVAL IN THIS NEWSLETTER LIES IN HOW MUCH YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO PARTICIPATE. And right now those are my main worries. For example the Shakespearean-Style Name-Calling Contest you shall read below...if nobody votes or write they're name calling insults, then what have I to write in the next issue? That means that if NOBODY responds to this issue at all, I might have to be forced to call a stop to this newsletter or most reluctantly just leave out the participating and discussing part and write every word on my own. Maybe that'll be every two monthes. That might be what I'll do because I've been looking foward to this newsletter for monthes and I don't want to end it just like that....but it would be so better if people participate.... SO PLEASE!! IF YOU ARE SHAKESPEARE-MANIAC SHOW IT! I need every word you can write about Shakespeare for this newsletter and every name calling insult you can think of for the survival of this dream of mine that I have saved for monthes. PLEASE PLEASE do not be shy to send YOUR comments or insults!! Anyway, enough of my BS:)....Read on and enjoy!! Benjamin AKA Shakespearean Insults AKA Cracker

====SECTION #2: The Shakespearean Insults of the Issue====
(All quoted from my previous Insult-Of-The-Week on my page.)

[You are] spacious in the possession of dirt. ----Hamlet 5. 2. 88-89

A halter pardon him, and hell gnaw his bones! ----Othello 4. 2. 138

====SECTION #3: The Shakespearean Style Name-Calling Contest====
You clay-brained guts....You slug....You sword and buckler prince.... You whoreson brainless baggage....You....You....You....

Some of these are quotes, some of these aren't. No, I don't want you to write the SOURCE, I want YOU to use YOUR WIT and think up a GREAT name to call the little brat living next door. SHAKESPEARE AIN'T THE ONLY WITTY GUY IN THE WORLD...SO ARE WE! So write down your newly thought up name-call and type it in the computer, link up to the internet, and email them to me as soon as you can!! The insults sent over are going to be listed in the next issue where we shall have NEW namecalls and A VOTE FOR THE NAMECALL OF THE ISSUE (the first winner will be on issue no. 3, the rest will stay in the vote with more name-calls joining and we'll vote a winner per issue and so on). So think em, type em and email em NOW!

PS. YES, THIS IS IT! THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS WHERE I WAS PLEADING BEFORE ABOUT "PARTICIPATING". All of you who call yourselves Shakespeare fans think up a name to call your teacher, grown-ups, think up something to call you're lawyer. It's not that hard. Do it for your passion for Shakespeare, for a friend to keep his dream alive....Thank you! PPS. We want old fasioned poisonous 1600 English name calling here. No F-words please (if you ask me, I think the F-word isn't as powerful as "Pish to thy toasted tounge!"....:)

====SECTION #4: READER'S INSULT OF THE ISSUE!====
We all know (especially those from CHATphiles) my Shakespearean Insult of the week. ONE Shakespearean Insult of the week. Now is the time for you to have YOUR insult of the week. Just imagine, in the next issue there's going to be something like: Barbann's Insult of the Week...Nick of the Trombone's Insult of Week.... ALL INSULT-OF-THE-WEEK WILL APPEAR ON MY PAGE AS WELL AS THE ISSUE! So email me promise that you will have an insut for the Week, Half Week, Month, Half Year, Year...just email them over two days advance and I shall post them on my INDEX page as well as the issue. IT'S YOUR OWN PIECE OF LAND TO INSULT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE...TELL ME YOU WANT IT!!

====SECTION #5: READER'S SECTION!====
THIS IS WHERE I REALLY NEED YOUR TALENTS!!! In the next issue hopefully there will be more than just 5 sections. Why? There's going to be Jorge's Section On Shakespeare And the Court; Michael's Section of Shakespeare 6th Grade Bombing; Christina's Section on Shakespeare Dramatic Quotes; Leonard's Special Discussion on MacBeth....ETC ETC ETC ETC. I shall give all of you you're own section, just send in what you want to write in there, an introduction, and email it to me THREE days before the date of the NEXT issue and you will have your OWN section to let you're passion for Shakespeare show!! Besides the Name Calling, this is the part I hope for most to participate cuz it's what REALLY makes the newsletter discussing! PLEASE, LET'S USE OUR TALENTS AND WIT! (Christina dear, I'm talking to you...)

====SECTION #6: READER'S WORDS====
IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY, SAY IT! This is a place where I quote what YOU want to be said here. Anything that has nothing to do with like "R&J's soundtrack sucks----Don't say my name" or "Lisa I love you!!----Somebody who loves you" or "I think this newsletter sucks----Leonard" "May your soul fly to the heavans throwing Shakespeare's wit on the demons----Spirit Eagle"....Just let email them to me along (same, three days before the next newsletter) with your other stuff. This section is just for the kicks of it.

====END OF ISSUE: Cracker's Last Words====
I have been planning such a newsletter for monthes...dreaming it would come. At first it didn't work out....not enough people. Now there's just about enough for it. And the dream has come half to true....Now, I send the mail, and wait for you're replies and anticipation, your passion for Shakespeare and your friendship....and see if there's enough of that to keep my dream alive. Thanks to you all!

Love to ya all and all of ya,
Benjamin

Next Issue: August 30th, 1997

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