decisions

decisions Content to Live I want to feel content. I really do. But there is so much more I could be doing. I could actually be accomplishing something, instead of sitting here rotting my mind in front of some glowing machine. I could be doing the work that I should have had done two days ago. I could be out in the world, facing what I have to face. I know I'm lazy, and I know I procrastinate like hell. (But does hell procrastinate?) But is that really bad? Can't I get through life by just letting other people do my work? So many others have. But that's not really like me. I need to be doing something, just not always something important. My pitiful attempts at actually trying to say something through this electronic "literature" that means absolutely nothing to anyone, including myself at some points, is just my way of not solving problems or doing work. I'll just sit here and dwell on my life like I always do. (hums a tune in her head) What was it last year's Valedictorian said about being proactive, and what was it that Harrison said about that and the Republican party platform being one and the same? (Don't try to understand.) Why can't I take a stand or something to that effect? I don't know and probably never will, but I should go do that English homework that's sitting on my bed one-eigth of the way finished. Or maybe I'll sit here and find exciting ways to make this worthless writing at least give the visual illusion that I worked hard on it.

8-24-98