THE REST –    January 2
  

 

Today's Quotations — TIME

 

 

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Time tries the troth in everything.

- Cicero

 

 

I wasted time and now does time waste me.

— Shakespeare

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Time wasted is existence; used, is life.

— Young

 

 
The  happier the time, the quicker it passes.

- Pliny the Younger

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Time is, after all, the greatest of poets; and the sons of Memory stand a better chance of being the heirs of Fame.

– Lowell

 

 

word puzzleToday's Word – TROTH

 


troth noun 1.a. Betrothal. b. One's pledged fidelity. 2. Good faith; fidelity. --troth tr.v. trothed, troth·ing, troths. To pledge or betroth. [Middle English trouthe, trothe, variant of treuthe, from Old English trowth, truth.]

Time tries the troth in everything

- Cicero 


Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

Today's' fact about Time and its measurement, a time quotation and a New Year Inspiration.

New Year 7

 

  
 
COFFEE
Coffee, (which makes the politician wise, and see thro' all things with his half-shut eyes).

Alexander Pope -
The Rape of the Lock, 1714

US Fact


Avicenna, the Arabian philosopher and physician, is accredited with first recording the use of coffee as a beverage. Somewhere about 1000 AD he called the brew 'bunc.' This word for coffee is still used in Ethiopia today. For centuries coffee was used chiefly as a medicine. It was not until the 16th century that it was drank socially in Arabia and Persia.

The earliest recorded coffee house was the 'Kiva Han.' It opened in Constantinople in 1475. During the next century coffee houses were called: 'Mekteb-i-irfan' which means 'school of the cultured.'

The practice of drinking coffee with milk and sugar was started by the owner of Vienna's Domgasse. This coffee house was opened by Franz Georg Kolshitsky in 1683. This polish adventurer was also responsible for originating the style of coffee known as 'Viennese.' Viennese coffee is strained to produce a clear liquid without grounds.

In 1930 the Brazilian Institute of Coffee suggested that coffee beans be reduced to a soluble powder. The Nestle company of Vevey, Switzerland, took up the challenge. After eight years of research they produced the world's first instant coffee and called it Nescafe.

 Source: The New Shell Book of Firsts - Patrick Robertson


The morning cup of coffee has the exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr

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"Let every created thing give praise to the Lord,
for he issued his command, and they came into being. "

Psalm 148:5 (NLT)

 

 

 

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Today's SMILE

 

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

  
   

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A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St.Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book.   Upon reading the entry for them cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.

A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest.  He announces himself to St. Peter.  Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."

The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe.  Surely I rate higher than a cabby."

St. Peter responded matter-of-factly:  "Here we are interested in results.   When you preached, people slept.  When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii
sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells
to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis
Team after its tour of Communist China.

The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing
the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

Moses, Jesus, and an old man are golfing.  Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball.  It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap.  Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green.

Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball.  It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap.  Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green.

The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball.  It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap.  But just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth.  As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws.  The eagle flies off over the green, where a lighting bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time."

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process.  First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day.  Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom.  Then the 40 names are placed in a drum, and a dozen names are pulled. 

During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror.

"There may be," he replied.  "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything."

Both were excused.

A true story from Gag-O-Mactic Joke Server 2.0
jokes@gag-o-matic.lowcomdom.com

A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another man riding on a camel.  When the rider gets close enough, the crawling man whispers through his sun-parched lips, "Water... please... can you give... water..."
 

"I'm sorry," replies the man on the camel, "I don't have any water  with me.  But I'd be delighted to sell you a necktie."

"Tie?" whispers the man.  "I need *water*."

"They're only four dollars apiece."

"I need *water*."

"Okay, okay, say two for seven dollars."

"Please!  I need *water*!", says the man.

"I don't have any water, all I have are ties," replies the salesman,      and he heads off into the distance.

The man, losing track of time, crawls for what seems like days. Finally, nearly dead, sun-blind and with his skin peeling and blistering, he sees a restaurant in the distance.    Summoning the last of his strength he staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter.

"Water... can I get... water," the dying man manages to stammer.

"I'm sorry, sir, ties required."

vyx@CHINET.CHINET.COM

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 

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Happy New Year

 


 The inventor of artificial snow originally called his product Snow Fakes.

 


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Phill Bower

 


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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.