THE REST –    January 4
  

 

Today's Quotations — TIME

 

 

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The use of time is fate.

— Chapman

 

 


Time stoops to no man's lure.

— Swinburne

 

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These are the times that try men's souls.

— Thomas Paine

 

 
Time conquers all, and we must Time obey.

Pope 

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Time never bears such moments on his wing as when he flies too swiftly to be marked.

– Joanna Baillie 

 

 

word puzzleToday's Word – DISPORT

 


dis·port
verb intransitive 1. To amuse oneself in a light, frolicsome manner. transitive 1. To amuse (oneself) in a light, frolicsome manner. 2. To display.  noun Frolicsome diversion

Yet, for disport, we fawn and flatter both,
To pass the time when nothing else can please;
And train them to our lure with subtle oath,
Till, weary of their wiles, ourselves we ease;
And then we say, when we their fancy try,
To play with fools, oh, what a fool was I!

If Women Could Be Fair and Yet Not Fond
Aubrey De Vere

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

Today's' fact about Time and its measurement, a time quotation and a New Year Inspiration.

New Year 9

  
 
SOUTHPAWS
Some left-handed stats.

US Fact


What about the southpaws?

Why are left handed people called southpaws? It goes back to the earliest days of baseball. A baseball diamond is set up to that the batter always faces east, so in the afternoon, the sun won't be in his or her eyes. If the batter faces east, the pitcher faces west. So, if a batter is left-handed, his hand, or paw is to the south.

Left-handed people are statistically more likely to be geniuses. Unfortunately lefties are statistically more likely to be insane. Left-handedness is more common among writers and some kinds of artists. They also tend to be more accident-prone and on average don't live as long.

 Source: The Unbelievable Truth – Jeff Rovin

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As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance.

—1 Peter 1:14


 

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Today's SMILE

 

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

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Insurance Jokes :

The agent told the new groom, "Now that you're married, don't you think you should get some insurance?"

"I don't think that will be necessary. She is not dangerous."


  You know what life insurance is all about? The company bets you will live, you bet you won't, so you bet a fortune and hope the company wins. 


An agent was trying to sell flood insurance to a business owner who has already fire insurance. The owner was steadfast, he didn't want any flood insurance. Finally the agent asked him why.

"I don't know how to start a flood," replied the owner.   


Source: Speaker's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Puns, Riddles, Quotations & Alternate Dictionary


A family heard their child pray earnestly:

Our Father who aren't in heaven, Hollywood be by name.
The Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as you're in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts,
as we forget our debtors.
Lead us not in tentation but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdom and the power and the liberty
and justice for all.

Amen
Ernestine.


Billy Graham and the Pope recently met to discuss the world situation. The Pope informed Dr. Graham that St. Peter had come to the conclusion that the world contained 30% righteous people and 70% unregenerate people. St. Peter decided to send a letter to the 30% to encourage them to become more like the salt they were supposed to be.

Dr. Graham then paused and said "What exactly did the letter say?"

"O", said the Pope, "you didn't get a letter?"


A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.

His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great!

"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.

"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."


Did you hear about the 2 guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?"

"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog up high enough."


 

Several Nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out. The Nuns took their habits off and tied them together to make a rope to get out of the building via the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the Nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broke since they are old?

The Nun Replied, "No, don't you know old habits are hard to break".


A grandmother decided to send a new playpen to her granddaughter for the birth of the granddaughter's fourth child. A week later the grandmother received a thank-you note. 'Thank you for your thoughtfulness,' the granddaughter wrote. 'I sit in the playpen for an hour every afternoon, and the children can't get near me!'



TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 

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Happy New Year

 


If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

 


Soul Food January 4



Today in History January 4

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.