THE REST –    January 9
  

 

Today's Quotations — TIME

 

 

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"Time restores all things." Wrong! Time restores many things, but eternity alone restores all.

— Joseph Roux

 

 


No, time is too short for the wicked to injure their neighbors.

— Seneca

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Who knows what may be slumbering in the background of time!.

— Schiller

 

 


Time is like a river, in which metals and solid substances are sunk, while chaff and straws swim upon the surface.

— Bacon

 

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Remorseless time! fierce spirit of the glass and sythe, -- what power can stay him in his silent course, or melt his iron heart with pity!

– George D. Prentice

 

 

word puzzleToday's Word – MORIBUND

 

mor·i·bund adjective 1. Approaching death; about to die. 2. On the verge of becoming obsolete: moribund customs; a moribund way of life.

Provided, that Sally should be able to prove to the executors that he had taken no notice of the gift by spoken word or by letter, had made no inquiries concerning the moribund's progress toward the everlasting tropics, and had not attended the funeral

Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens),
The $30,000 Bequest.  

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

Today's' final fact about Time and its measurement, a time quotation and a New Year Inspiration.

New Year 13

 

  
 
Seward's Bargain
Some geography facts about Alaska.

US Fact


Seward's Folly

William Henry Seward, served as secretary of state during the administration of Lincoln. Seward continued as secretary of state under President Andrew Johnson. During the Johnson, administration he became famous for the negotiation of the treaty by which the United States purchased Alaska from Russia. This achievement is often called "Seward's Folly."

Alaska is the largest state in the United States. Alaska is also the northernmost, westernmost, and easternmost state in the U.S. It is easy to see that it is the northernmost and westernmost. BUT how can it be easternmost state as well? The long line of the Aleutian Islands extend past the 180 degree line of longitude. This places some islands in the Eastern Hemisphere. Thus Alaska is the westernmost and easternmost US state.

Bonus Fact: On the night an assassin shot Lincoln, an attempt was also made on Seward's life.

UPI | Comptons


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As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance.

—1 Peter 1:14

 

 

 

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Today's SMILE

 

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

  
   

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Hospital Humor

Dictation Notes from Surgeons:


"The patient is a dwarf and says he drives a 2 ton semi truck.  I think the patient is lying and he works in a circus.  He has unusual tan lines not seen in truck drivers."

"The patient is a 20-year old female who presented to the ER after being driven in a car that she had met in a bar and was assaulted by him"

"Pelvic exam revealed a boggy uterus ambulating from the cervical canal."

"We have been sitting on this patient for a long time because of his multiple problems."

"She stays at home and lives with her husband and two wives."

"She was instructed to take Valium, p.o., q6h until exhausted."

"Patient name is Gasurotyiafdola, Lerbiancuterea- spell it just like it sounds."

"Patient was admitted and suffered severe pain by Dr. Smith."

"Pelvic exam would be a heroic measure in this female, and I would defer this to her gynecologist.  He may have special techniques for gaining irretrevable objects."

"The patient was admitted with abdominal pain from the emergency room."

"This man was brought in by his family because he is getting old and is losing his hearing, his memory and his urine."

"The patient is a 74 year old female who was brought in to the ER by paramedics acutely short of breath."

"The nurse was handed to the pediatrician."

"Patient wears glasses for hearing."

"Patient was released to the outpatient department without dressing."

"The operative field appeared in good condition with no bleeding and therefore the patient was terminated."

Stitches.net for 5/20/98: Submitted by vdison

Three women rub a magic lamp and a genie pops out and says,"You are each granted one wish." So the first woman says, "I'd like to be smarter."

Genie: "**POOF** you're a cardiologist!"

Second woman: "I'd like to be 50% smarter than that!"

Genie: "**POOF** you're a neurosurgeon!"

Third woman: "Well, I'd like to be even 100% smarter than that!"

Genie: "**POOF** you're a nurse!"

From: Hallmartz | Found it in my files, perhaps from Prodigy?


"How are you feeling since your operation?"

"A lot better. The doctor says in a couple of weeks I'll be strong enough to look at his bill."

From: Lulu_FM | Found it in my files, perhaps from MSN?

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

 

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When all else fails manipulate the data.

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

 


Soul Food January 9, 2001



Today in History January 9, 2001

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.