A nun was sitting at a
window in her convent one day when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening
it a $10.00 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her
home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a
shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.
She couldn't get him off her mind and, thinking that he might be in financial
difficulties, she took the $10.00 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she
had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia," and threw it out of the window to
him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his
hat and went off down the street.
The next day she was in her cell saying her beads when she was told that some man was at
her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed
stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills.
When she asked what they were for he replied, "That's the sixty bucks you have
coming. Don't Despair paid 5 to 1."
From Kasha Linka
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
Kevin and Ryan, 5 and 3 years old.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, 'Let my
brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
From Kasha Linka
A defense attorney who was cross-examining a pathologist asked, "Since you didn't
listen for a heartbeat and you didn't check for breathing, how were you sure the man was
really dead when you signed the death certificate?"
"Well, let me put it this way," said the pathologist. "The man's brain was
sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing
law somewhere."
Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.
There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, "The
10 Most Wanted."
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a
wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."
So Little Sammy asked, while tugging on the man's belt, "Um, mister, why didn't you
keep them when you took their pictures?"
WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU NEED A NEW DOCTOR
- The patient before you was a goat.
- Instead of anesthetic he has you watch PBS.
- He has an assistant named Igor.
- The local bar association named him "client of the year."
- Whenever he leaves the room his nurse makes duck noises.
- During surgery he has to keep repeating that "thigh bone connected to the knee
bone" song.
- Mike Wallace and a film crew are hanging out in his waiting room.
- He asks you to turn your head and cough during an eye exam.
- You can beat him in a game of Operation.
- All his Medical books are from the Time-Life "Do-it-Yourself Series".
- He has an office sharing arrangement with a mortician.
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"
Today's Word –
CADRE
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