January 29, 2001 - All the Rest

ALL THE REST – January 29

The Blizzard is on. Quotations, facts and words will all pertain to snow over the next week or so!

Today's Quotations — SNOW

A little snow, tumbled about, anon becomes a mountain.

— Shakespeare

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

— Matt Groening

Come, see the north-wind's masonry.
Out of an unseen quarry evermore
Furnished with tile, the fierce artificer
Curves his white bastions with projected roof Round every windward stake, or tree, or door. Spreading, the myriad-handed, his wild work So fanciful, so savage, naught cares he For number or proportion.

— Emmerson

How beautiful it was, falling so silently, all day long, all night long, on the mountains, on the meadows, on the roofs of the living, on the graves of the dead!

— Longfellow

Through the sharp air a flaky torrent flies,
Mocks the slow sight, and hides the gloomy skies; The fleecy clouds their chilly bosoms bare, And shed their substance on the floating air.

— Crabbe

Today's Word – WINDROW

wind·row noun 1. A row, as of leaves or snow, heaped up by the wind. 2. A long row of cut hay or grain left to dry in a field before being bundled. To shape or arrange into a windrow.

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact



Snowflakes

How full of the creative genius is the air in which these are generated! I should hardly admire them more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.
Henry David Thoreau

The Blizzard (two weeks of Daily Miscellany SNOW facts)
- Day 2 -

Snowflakes 2 - The Shape of the Flake

The amateur meteorologist, Mr. Bently, was not the first to display interest in the fragile beauty of the snow crystal. The symmetry of ice crystals was commented upon by the Chinese in the second century B.C. Europeans had recorded the same observation at least by the Middle Ages. The Dominican scholastic Albertus Magnus wrote about snow crystals in the thirteenth century. The earliest know attempt at portraying the delicate nature of snow was a woodcut dated from 1555 and published in Rome.

At the beginning of the seventeenth century the subject of the snowflake's beauty beguiled Johannes Kepler. "There must be some definite cause," he wrote in 1609, shortly after making the discovery that the planets travel not in circles but in ellipses, "why, whenever snow begins to fall, its initial formation invariably displays the shape of a six-cornered starlet. For if it happens by chance, why do they not fall just as well with five corners or with seven?" This observation of the six sides was more important than Mr. Kepler imagined.

The microscopic structure of the snow crystal is always six sided because of the shape and bonding of the water molecules. The process is complex, but the hexagonal shape of snowflakes essentially reflects the underlying atomic structure of water. Two hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water branch off the oxygen atom with about 120 degrees of separation. Though all snow crystals are 6 sided they appear to the eye in different forms. It is possible that no two snowflakes are ever the same, but they can still be classified into basic types of crystals. Basically there are 6 different types of snow crystals: needles, columns, plates, columns capped with plates, dendrites and stars. All of these basic shapes still have the same six sided structure in common . A snow crystal will appear as a needle shape if the six-sided crystal is, for instance, 200 times thicker than it is wide.

... Tomorrow a brief look at how snow crystals form.

A few of the beautiful microphotographs of Mr. Bently can be found at this site.

Sources Include: The Handy Weather Answer Book - Walter A. Lyons -Visible Ink Press

You are worthy, O Lord our God,
to receive glory and honor and power.
For you created everything,
and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created."

Rev. 4:11

Today's SMILE

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)



A Modern Version of Noah's Ark

And the Lord said unto Noah, "Where is the ark which I commanded you to build?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, I have had three carpenters off sick. The gopher wood supplier hath let me down, yea, even though the gopher wood hath been on order for six months. What canst I do, O Lord?"

And God said unto Noah, "I want that ark finished within seven days."

And Noah said, "It will be so."

But it was not so. And the Lord said unto Noah, "What seemeth to be the trouble this time?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "Mine sucontractor hath gone bankrupt. The pitch which Thou commandest me to put on the outside of the ark hath not arrived. The plumber and his crew have gone on strike. Lord, I am undone."

And the Lord grew angry and said: "What about the animals, the male and female of every sort that I ordered tocome unto thee to keeptheir seed alive upon the face of the earth?"

And Noah said, "They have been delivered unto the wrong address, but they should arrive on Friday."

And the Lord God said, "How about the unicorns and the fouls of the air, by sevens?"

And Noah wrung his hands and wept, saying, "Lord, unicorns are a discontinued line; thou canst not find them anywhere. And fouls of the air are sold only in half-dozen lots. Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it is."

And the Lord in his wisdom said, "Noah, my son, I knowest. Why else dost thou think I would cause a flood to descend upon the earth?"

There was a man who loved to make up puns. One day a local magazine sponsored a pun-contest.

The man entered the contest ten different times in the hope that at least one of his puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

My friend said that he had dogs that talked in their sleep. Skeptical, I went to see. In front of the fireplace lay a
hound fast asleep. He mumbled "I've just written a best seller." Later, he said, "I've just returned from the moon." I was impressed and said so. "But, he tells lies," I said. "Yes, he does," said my friend. "But that's OK. When you have a talking dog, you've got to make allowances. I find that it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.

A college freshman fell asleep in his 8:00 English class. The professor, not too pleased, threw a book at him.

"What was that" asked the startled student.

"That", replied the professor, "was a flying Chaucer."

Farmer Jones had heard that the best milk comes from contented cows. Therefore, he'd visit them every morning and tell them jokes. The cows laughed and laughed and gave excellent milk. But the news got around about the cows. They became known as the laughing stock of the community.

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl.   Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!" She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise."

"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew. "

MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR NOTICE

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them.   We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and
contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Judge:   Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?

Juror:   I don't want to be away from my job that long.

Judge:   Can't they do without you at work?

Juror:   Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

Soul Food January 29

Today in History January 29

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.