February 8, 2001 - All the Rest

ALL THE REST – February 8

The Blizzard is HERE. Quotations, facts and words will all pertain to snow over the next week or so!

Today's Quotations — SNOW

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

— Mark Twain

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me.

— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

— Anne Bradstreet

Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it.

— Jack Handley

Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.

— Victor Hugo

Today's Word – WINDROW

wind - row noun 1. A row, as of leaves or snow, heaped up by the wind. 2. A long row of cut hay or grain left to dry in a field before being bundled. To shape or arrange into a windrow.

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

Today's Fact

Snowflakes

How full of the creative genius is the air in which these are
generated! I should hardly admire them more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.
Henry David Thoreau

The Blizzard (two weeks of Daily Miscellany SNOW facts)
- Day 11 -

Snowflakes 11 - Storm of the Century

The storm of the century depends on where you are (remember 2001 is the start of the 21st Century, we still have this winter and next to add to the data). During the 20th Century there have been dozens of "Storms of the Century." The blizzard of January 10-11, 1975, was one of the worst for the upper Midwest. During this blizzard winds reached 90 mph in Iowa. The chill factor was -80 F in both North and South Dakota. Trains were stranded in snowdrifts in Minnesota. Nineteen inches of snow fell in Nebraska. Some eighty death were attributed to the fierce storm, and 55,000 head of cattle were lost.

The East coast of the U.S. has had several "Storms of the Century" in this decade alone. The blizzard of 1993 was numbered among the worst. The total death toll on land was 270, and 48 more were lost at sea. Fatalities, due to the storm, were reported from Maine to Florida. Economic losses have been estimated to as much as six billion dollars. For the first time in history, every major airport on the East Coast was closed at one time during the storm.

The East Coast blizzard of 1993 caused a loss of electrical power to more than three million customers. Hundreds of roofs collapsed due to the weight of snow. Eighteen homes fell into the sea on Long Island. The highest reported snowfall was 56 inches at Mount LeConte, Tennessee. Birmingham, Alabama received 17 inches of snow. Six inches of snow fell as far south as the Florida panhandle. It was estimated that the water amount of the total snowfall of the massive storm was 44 million acre-feet. This is equivalent to 40 days flow of the Mississippi River past New Orleans.

Wind gusts above 75 mph during the East Coast blizzard of 1993 were common along the entire eastern seaboard. Winds of 100+ mph over the Gulf of Mexico resulted in a 12-foot storm surge that killed seven people in Taylor County, Florida. Flattop Mountain, North Carolina, gusted to 110 to 107 mph, and 144 mph winds were noted on Mt. Washington. Even at lower elevations the wind gusts were damaging. Fire Island, New York reported gusts up to 89 mph.

... Tomorrow the 'final' Snow for this year ...a few leftovers

Sources Include: The Handy Weather Answer Book - Walter A. Lyons -Visible Ink Press

Today's SMILE

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)





One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car.

"What are those for?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm a juggler," he replied. I use those in my act."

"Well, show me," the officer demanded. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the
back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.

Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My goodness. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now!"

From Funny Pages Mailing List

The Shopkeeper's Dilemma

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read...

MAIN ENTRANCE..

From - Kasha Linka

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn't know what to do, so she called
her home and told the babysitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do.

The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door". The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger
and said, "I don't know how to use this."

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "Great God. This is what you sent to help me????" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said "Yes, my daughter is very sick......I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car, I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car."

He said, "SURE". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "THANK YOU SO MUCH..... You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man, see, I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud....."THANK YOU, GOD, FOR SENDING ME A PROFESSIONAL!!!!"

From - Kasha Linka

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.

"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.

"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T."

My geometry tutor told me "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided ones are called pentagons."

"What about two sided ones?" I asked.

"They don't exist." was his response.

"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."

TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University

Unemployment: is not working.

Daily Miscellany Comics

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

Soul Food February 8

Today in History February 8

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.