ALL THE REST –    March 3 & 4
  

 

Today's Quotations – DREAMS

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The dreamer is a madman quiescent, the madman a dreamer in action.

— F. H. Hedge

 

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Sleep brings dreams; and dreams are often most vivid and fantastical before we have yet been wholly lost in slumber.

— Robert Montgomery Bird

 
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Dreams are excursions into the limbo of things, a semi-deliverance from the human prison.

— Amiel

 

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But dreams full oft are found of real events
The form and shadows.

— Joanna Baillie
 

 
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As a wild maiden, with love-drinking eyes, sees in sweet dreams a beaming youth of glory.

— Alexander Smith

 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – APHORISM
   

 


aph·o·rism
noun 1. A tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion; an adage. Synonym saying. 2. A brief statement of a principle. [French aphorisme, from Old French, from Late Latin aphorismus, from Greek aphorismos, from aphorizein, to delimit, define : apo-, apo- + horizein, to delimit, define.]  

Altogether, the Old Bailey, at that date, was a choice illustration of the precept that "Whatever is, is right"; an aphorism that would be as final as it is lazy, did it not include the troublesome consequence, that nothing that ever was, was wrong.

A TALE OF TWO CITIES
by CHARLES DICKENS

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

  
 

Superior
Environmentalist 

           

Rachael Carson 

Rachel Carson, who wrote Silent Spring and The Sea Around Us, was such a conservator of life -- any life – that when she dipped a small sample of water from the tidal flats in front of her house to put under her microscope, she always returned what was left when the examination was finished.

More than this, she returned it at the same tidal level that was present when she had dipped it. Often this meant that she had to set her alarm clock, put on slippers and bathrobe, and find her way down to the sea by flashlight.

Hodgepodge Two


 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

 
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

LAWN CARE


A preacher received a yearly allowance for keeping up the parsonage, which had a very big yard. The allowance was for maintenance and repair of the parsonage. During the summer season the preacher paid a young lad out of this special fund to mow the lawn. When the chairman of the parsonage committee heard this he was furious.

He called the preacher, "preacher," he said, "the former minister always mowed the lawn himself and NEVER used this maintenance money to pay some kid to mow the lawn."

The preacher calmly replied, "Well, I've already talked to the former Rev. about it and he said he just couldn't do it this year!"  


The Barber

The barber was far from proficient, nicking the customer more than once with his sharp razor. After the shave, the customer asked for some water.

"Are you thirsty, buddy?" the barber asked.

"No. I just want to see if my face leaks!"

David A. Rinke II < drinkeii@moose.erie.net >


TOO YOUNG For HEAVEN

A young lawyer dies and is sent to heaven.

Upon his arrival, he meets St. Peter at the Gate. St. Peter asks the lawyer his name and looks up his entry in the Great Big Book.

St. Peter then looks at the lawyer and says, "You look very good for being 138 years old."

Astonished, the lawyer replies, "There must be some mistake, I am only 32."

St. Peter responds, "Not according to your billable hours." 

David A. Rinke II | Funny Pages Mailing List

 


New STAMPS

The post office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers. It seems people were confused as to which side to spit on.


 

Two Parts Thoughtfulness, One Part Improvisation

He loved her very much. So very, very, much!

He wanted this Valentine's day to be special. So he went all out! He had a bottle of her
favorite liquor, a French absinthe, imported in time for it to arrive for the occasion. On his
way home, he stopped at the local florist. He had planned to have a bouquet made with her
favorite flower, white anemones. But to his dismay, he found that the florist had sold all her flowers and had only a few stemns of feathery ferns left for decoration!

Oh, no, what was he going to do now? Her love for the white flowers had made the presenting of an armful of them a tradition on special occasions such as this. In a moment of inspiration, he had the answer: He asked the florist to make a bouquet using the flask of liquor instead of flowers and what she produced was magnificent well beyond his expectations. He added a handwritten card, and proceeded home.

When he arrived, his wife was beautiful in her most elegant gown, and it was apparent that she had spent much of the day preparing a romantic candlelight dinner for the two of them. He presented her with his gift, and she opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Kasha Linka


A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then they could only say two words.

  The first seven years passed and they went into a small room. His two word were "too cold".

  The next seven years passed and they took him back into the small room and his two words were "bad food".

  The next seven years passed they took him back into the small room and his two words were "I quit".

  Good they said, "all you have done is complain."


 

If you want to make your marriage a happy one," said the lecturer to an audience of young men, "you must have a realistic attitude. You must be patient with your wives. When you are going out together, don't worry if your wife is not ready on time. The thing for you to do is to have a book handy so that you can read it while you wait. I assure you that you will be absolutely astonished at the amount of culture you will acquire." - Source unknown




How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?

 



TRUE FACT ...

Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University


"Well if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

James Thurber

 

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

 

Easter 1 | Easter 2

Soul Food - devotions, Bible verse and inspiration.

Soul Food March 3 & 4 

Today in History - events and birthdays for this date in history

Today in History March 3 
Today in History March 4 


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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappeenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are writen by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.